taurean Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 Some good efforts there folks. Mrs Roy has had a better day, but I have struggled. Woke feeling cramped - and got out for lunch and shopping. But unpleasant intrusions have kept popping up. I have done the correct thing. Not engaged with them, not believed them and kept refocusing away - but I sure am feeling cramped, tired and disappointed. Link to comment
ecomum Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) Hang in there Taurean you got out which is good.do all the things we talk about on here and keep remembering it will pass ! Positive: i have NEVER driven due to ocd and my mums ocd which has made my life more difficult at times.i was soooo careful not to pass this on to my children.my son went out in his first new car for first time tonight and he said stuff like " i hope i dont crash " and "im alive " when he got back.i just brushed it off as tho it was so irrelevent and said " did you manage to get your parcel?" (That he was going for.) I was worried sick about his maiden voyage but in no way let him see that or think his worries where justified. So proud of myself.my son can have the life i never could Edited October 28, 2015 by ecomum Link to comment
Guest Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Negatives: - Intrusive thoughts - Not very well both mentally and physically Positives: - Back home for the rest of the week - Going out for breakfast tomorrow - Back with my dog - Going out for dinner on Friday - Am a new person today - Feeling relaxed - CMHT are going to offer me support Link to comment
taurean Posted October 28, 2015 Author Share Posted October 28, 2015 That is a nice thing ecomum. Well done you. Thanks for your kind words. It's a resilience thing with me - being able to have an OCD thought - see it as in fact meaningless nonsense - then resolve it. When I do this I stay well; when I fail to do this I struggle. Disappointed as a result is understandable and ok - fair enough and reduces the angst. Link to comment
ecomum Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 Ocd is clever and will make us fail to resove it by tricking us further.sometimes i can do the skills i have learned and let it go ,but its like a clever bully and tricks you into not being able to do that. Try and see it as a minor set back Taurean and above all that it is ocd the same as always and you can beat it.hopefully things will seem clearer tomorrow they often do for me. Link to comment
Guest Guppy Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Negatives: I feel weighed down by unspoken horror of things I'm afraid to even think about. Positives: I just wrote a really neat short tool to solve a problem we've been having with python packaging. So that feels pretty great. Link to comment
Binxy Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Negative- still struggling with an intrusive thought from this morning. Not nice Positive- I've got some work done and it's pub quiz night, tonight. Link to comment
taurean Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 Beef sandwiches for lunch for us in the conservatory observing/under the observation of "Spotty" the neighbours cat. Meanwhile I've been at the dump this morning, with the car-load of recycling from the garage which I sorted the other day. Still working my therapy of observing intrusjons and not connecting. Planning to do some shredding in the conservatory this afternoon, to get some more light. Feeling a little better physically and I achieved a lot this morning. Link to comment
Guest Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Negatives: - Still not well physically - Feeling suicidal and have lost all hope Positives: - Going out for dinner tomorrow evening - Having a nice person at home - Having stir fry for dinner - Battling on with my depression - Going to look up coping strategies - Cuddles with my dog Link to comment
butterfly lady Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Only positives today: I was driving home from the gym and couldn't remember where in my sports bag my front door keys were. I had an intrusive thought that they might have fallen out of the car when I picked up my shopping after the gym, even though I knew this wasn't possible. The anxiety was heightened because I had a car boot full of shopping, some of which needed to go in the fridge and freezer and I also needed to get back as I was expecting someone to come and look at the boiler. Instead of checking my bag again at the next set of traffic lights, I rode that wave of anxiety until I got home. Sure enough, they were where I left them. So proud of myself for not checking. Link to comment
ecomum Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Reading "if in doubt make believe " by jeff Bell and my CBT notes and it seems to be helping. Link to comment
biscuitcat Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Negatives: got upset I would be left alone and thus entertained my intrusive thoughts for a bit. Positives: still took myself off to the library despite being upset Went for a walk Did some work Saw a friend Had dinner cooked for me Cuddled the dog Had a lovely evening watching TV Didn't engage in my thoughts Laughed and smiled for hours Link to comment
taurean Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Well I have still been having a poor experience with intrusions today. I have elected to carry on as I usually would - exactly what I would normally do - and ignore them. They have changed a few times - bit like a new bowler having a stint - but I have held firm. I am in a better state physically than yesterday - but a bit jumpy (not surprising as there's been no peace today) but I did work through a nice visualisation as a calming mechanism. Don't feel sleepy which is disappointing.Will need to play a CD of sleep-inducing music to get off. So I didn't manage to slip the intrusions and get back into a mindful approach; I am just treating that as a disappointment. Link to comment
Guest dukkha Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Hang in there, Roy, you have all the skills to get through this rough patch! Hope you feel better soon. Link to comment
taurean Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) I am working on the unpleasant meaning flowing from one of my core fears resulting from OCD This was happening quite well up until 2 or 3 days ago,and I was just observing and disarding, then the OCD got hold of it. I wish to just calmly steer it back to a nice benign place so I can observe and let go. Edited October 30, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
Guest Guppy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Hope you feel better today, Roy. You've been really helpful to me over the last few weeks. Negatives: Form replies to support requests make me so incredibly annoyed. There are some companies where no matter how carefully you fill out... I've started ranting so I'll stop. Positives: Just upgraded my work machine to the next version of Ubuntu, and nothing seems to be too broken. Link to comment
taurean Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 Thks Guppy. Not good today with some looping unpleasant thoughts. I got up and cleared the kitchen and did some shredding and took a propranolol beta blocker as increased blood pressure has caused cramped muscles - "fight or flight". Feeling pretty rough actually - don't feel like going out to see my local friends - my wife is off out in a while. So having herbal time and just looking to calm things down. Link to comment
Binxy Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Hope things pick up for you Roy. Not a nice feeling, I know. Negatives- Feel like I'm going to struggle in a meeting this afternoon and don't want to Positives- Had a good night at the pub quiz last night, it's Friday today, I think we'll have a curry for tea tonight Link to comment
taurean Posted October 30, 2015 Author Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Thanks Binxy. We've completed all our tasks for this week, and are in our dens having some me time each. I am simply mooching about getting some enjoyment going, as I have achieved clearing up the kitchen and doing a lot of shredding. Not a great deal of closeness to others today as I don't feel like communicating greatly - I would like some peace from the brain, which is currently compulsing rather than calming down. Several triggers upset me and I am full of physical pain from dealing with the emotional reaction, but nevertheless unfortunately being stuck with looping thoughts. So I am mentally tired and in pain from anxiety, but carrying on and just looking to remind myself it is all OCD, see the cognitions in a different more positive light and refocus. Edited October 30, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
biscuitcat Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 It's great to see everyone keeping positive! Pretty much all positives so far today: Had a really productive morning -Ate properly, -Cleaned and tidied the house -Popped to the shops -Went on a long walk -Resisted the urge to ruminate -Going to a party tonight so hopefully I won't have a wobbly moment before/during that. -Have plans for tomorrow Link to comment
Guest Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Negative: - Am going to leave this world sometime this year Positive: - Have realised that I need to leave this world sometime this year Link to comment
Cub Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 Negatives: Struggling with one or two things that are bothering me and pretty tired from work. Positive: Feeling a lot better and haven't ruminated all week. Link to comment
Purplepiper7 Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Positive: I've recently begun seeing a psychologist. Negative: The aforementioned psychologist is my last hope, and I'm starting to think that even he can't help. Link to comment
taurean Posted October 31, 2015 Author Share Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) Negative Got too easily upset in the week and resulted in several days of anxiety-fuelled angst. Last evening I retired hurt to bed early, commenced relaxation routines and let pressure ease away.Feeling washed out and depressed as a result. Positive Weekend and we just relax. I will suspend ERP until I am feeling better(I have a lot in the bank anyway), and just look to boost up rest relaxation and enjoyment and restore my health and well-being. We are well up on our activities here so can just go for enjoyment. Edited October 31, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
Cub Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Negative: Got myself into a rather sorry and pitiful mood at work; feeling totally alone, friendless and just as though my life is not going the way I want and that I don't deserve to have a happy life. Like I'm cursed and don't deserve good things; also, sadly, having quite a few thoughts of hurting myself because it feels as though I just don't care what happens to me anymore. Positive: I got my face painted and I'm making steps to improve my life - perhaps join some more clubs and let myself be more interactive, as I'm failing to engage with the world around me or when I do, I try too hard and just annoy people. C x Link to comment
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