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Oh guys....................deep breaths!


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Been great for a few weeks. Started a new job. Today two things happened. As I was walking I brushed next to a man who had told me earlier he had saw ribs from a fall over the weekend. He was gay so am scared I got HIV although I never saw any blood on my shirt and the chances are he just had a bruise on his rib - if any.

Then I get told I'm in an old building tomorrow. I saw it today and a colleague said that he bet it's riddled with asbestos. This is a top 10 FTSE 100 company and I'm sure it's okay. It will only be for one day.

Tonight I've had a bath. Clothes in wash. Vodka in a glass..........................and plenty of tablets on standby.

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I've hugged guys with HIV and danced with them in a sweaty gay bar. Didn't think twice about it, because it's not one of my OCD fears. As just mentioned, dont avoid the fear. Face it, be brave, and get past this.

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So what are your fears ocdcanuck and how would you like people to respond to you when your seeking help

Also ineedofhelp, you could have posted ina way that someone may take offence,think about the wording

Edited by battlethrough
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My fears are not relevant in this discussion.

Fear of HIV is quite a common obsession in OCD. But it's not okay to be scared of gay people because they could have HIV. I'm very sympathetic to the plight of those of us who suffer with this horrible illness, but hat doesn't give us carte blanche to be discriminatory against certain people.

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Yeah it is a bit offensive to assume because he was gay he might have HIV. I only mentioned the gay bar in my comment because I do know a couple of people who go there who have it, and that's where we happened to be dancing (hence the hot and sweaty thing, you know how heated it can get when hot men start taking their tops off haha). But I also know of straight guys who have it also.

It is a common irrational fear though. I would hope that this was an intrusive OCD assumption and that the OP can see it is not rational to assume a gay person might have HIV simply because of their orientation.

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Guest lucylia

Don't think OP meant to be offensive tbh. It's their irrational fear. And although its not only gay people who get HIV ... My own doctor (when I demanded a test era ago after being obsessed I was HIB positive) told me the highest risk people are introvenus drug users,gay men and people of African/American ethnic origin .... Just the way it is. So I believe because its more common in gay men that's perhaps where op fear spirals from x

Lucy xxx

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Firstly you can't get HIV by brushing up against someone who has it

Secondly, it is highly offensive that because he was gay, you think he has HIV.

It's not meant to be highly offensive, so apologies if it sounded that way. I have a fear of any group of people who are at high risk of having the illness and that would include drug addicts, prostitutes, African people, girls who sleep around. I have the greatest sympathy also for those with the illness. It is a fear I have. It is my fault - not theres so I hope I've made that clear. This illness I have actually probably limits me far more than anybodyliving with HIV as the fear terrifies me. Hence why I'm up typing at 6am instead of sleeping.

As for the asbestos building my anxiety is on a scale that you can't imagine.

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Hi inneedofhelp, I can imagine your asbestos anxiety cos as you know its one that haunts me and my whole relapse was around it. Summon up all the courage you can and face it. Try and lay off the voddie it wont be doing your anxiety any good! Thinking of you.

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You need to let go of this idea that all gay people have HIV. I am homosexual and have never encountered any such disease, and it can actually be taken very offensively that you do think that, as much as I understand it's your OCD - this makes you sound very homophobic, like when white americans used to keep away from black people because they feared of "catching" something from them even though they didn't have any problems.

Best of luck anyways.

S

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Guest lucylia

^^^^^ you are taking offence because your homosexual. If the OP was homosexual and statistics proved that heterosexuals were on the higher risk scale I would not be offended by OPs worry towards me because I am a heterosexual. OP really is not trying to offend at all. He has simply read a statistic and his OCD has latched onto it. It is unfortunate that homosexuals are statically more likely to get HIV but it is the sad truth. I have many gay friends and feel no prejudice against them. However of I had a severe fear of aids perhaps I would be more frightened of being around them. OP probably hates this fear. I do not think its helpful to take this particular fear as anything other than OCD .. As opposed to OCD and being homophobic x

Lucy xxx

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Guest lucylia

Ps. I used to have a fear of being around children. I avoided them. I had nothing against them but my OCD made me believe they were something to fear. The OP OCD is no different x

Lucy xx

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You need to let go of this idea that all gay people have HIV. I am homosexual and have never encountered any such disease, and it can actually be taken very offensively that you do think that, as much as I understand it's your OCD - this makes you sound very homophobic, like when white americans used to keep away from black people because they feared of "catching" something from them even though they didn't have any problems.

Best of luck anyways.

S

OCD DOESNT WORK LIKE THAT IM AFRAID . NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR MORALS OR REAL BELIEFS

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Look guys. Y'all are spending way too much time on this gay thing. This isn't about whether gay people have HIV. It's about a person with a mental disorder... The same disorder you all have.

None of us chose our obsessions. They were thrust upon us. We had no choice in the matter. One person obsesses over a relationship, another over pedophilia. Inneedofhelp obsesses over HIV. Drawing the conclusion that gay people might have HIV and are worth worrying about is part of the obsession, something he can't control at this point.

Telling him not to discriminate against gay people is like telling the rest of you to just stop thinking about your obsessions. As ascend rightfully said, this is all part of an irrational fear... That Inneedofhelp is suffering from.

I'm shocked that some people are jumping all over someone because his obsession disturbs them.

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I'm gay and I don't think the OP is being homophobic at all. Our obsessions are not our "choice" and sometimes sadly our fears can drive us to believe in stereotypes because the OCD tells us they're true and that we need to "watch out."

I developed an OCD fear of my orientation changing to straight and I would never in my life consider myself heterophobic but I was so scared of being straight I developed such bad dread and anxiety when I saw straight couples out. I'm mostly over that now but what I'm trying to say is that OCD can sadly mess around with stereotypes and make us sensitive to triggers.

Because of the unfortunate stereotypes and false assumptions that most gay men have some sexual disease like HIV it seems like the OP's OCD is playing the doubting game and wants to be 100% sure they won't get HIV therefore avoiding or being cautious around most gay men as a defense mechanism to not catch the disease (which you can't from the situation you describe but I understand the struggle.)

I don't think this is the place to debate stereotypes and bad information from society as we are here to give help for a terrible mental disorder and that only. Keep the debates for debate club as I say.

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Just my twopenny worth - I am gay and I was not at all offended by the original post. A) unfortunately gay men are statistically more likely to get AIDS, therefore OCD is likely to latch onto it. B) OCD can literally latch onto anything. eg. In the past I've had an obsessive fear that people might think I'm racist, which made me nervous when walking past anyone of an ethnic minority in case I somehow came off as racist in my body language etc. This didn't make me racist! - it just meant my OCD had latched onto something stupid.

Perhaps the phrasing in the original post was a little clumsy - and reminiscent of homophobic speech of times gone by when people thought gay people had 'cooties' or whatever. But the OP has explained this isn't want they meant at all so we should be able to move on, in my opinion.

With regards to the original post... as difficult as it is the key is to face these fears head on. Don't try to avoid them or reduce them. Face the fear, say 'yes maybe I will catch HIV/the building has asbestos' and resist the urge to carry out any compulsions, as difficult as it is. xx

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The wording offended me personally, sorry but that's my view.

I understand it's OCD, and I was actually trying to help out by putting forward the point that not all gay people have HIV - So don't act like i'm some bigoted idiot that doesn't understand what OCD is, I clearly do else why would I be here? The way the OP put the post just ticked me off, I don't like this stereotype that all gay people have HIV, and seeing it here of all places got me angry the most, end of the day I didn't post it to scrutinize the OP either, it was there to let them know that it could be taken offensively, what they have posted, and from the comments I am not the only person to think this. And as for my comparison, it is a society-based creation that all black people carried illness, as much as it is also a society-based creation that all gay people carry hiv/aids, and the OP has obviously read this somewhere, so no, i'm not blaming the OP for this presumption but trying to help them understand that it coulc be taken offensively.

So, as a response to some of your rather agitated replies - it was probably not good timing for myself to be reading that post, and B. I cannot help what I am offended by.

I hope that's perfectly understood.

Edited by Saad
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your doing more harm than good !!! wow if only you knew the thoughts / obsessions/ doubts i have bout people close to me you would think i was the worse person in the world then. ocd distorts our logic and this is a anxiety issue. dont like it just dont comment different if this was on a non ocd site then i would back you up all the way.

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your doing more harm than good !!! wow if only you knew the thoughts / obsessions/ doubts i have bout people close to me you would think i was the worse person in the world then. ocd distorts our logic and this is a anxiety issue. dont like it just dont comment different if this was on a non ocd site then i would back you up all the way.

I literally just said, I do not blame the OP but the society or whatever has told the OP that this was true, i'm sorry that I got offended but that's just what happens when you see things like this. And as for not knowing the thoughts and doubts you have, I can imagine full well the pain you are experience because if you haven't read on that little box on the side, I am also a sufferer of OCD.

Edited by Saad
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This is an OCD forum where people share their darkest secrets. The last thing we need is to have sufferers afraid to post their thoughts for fear of appearing politically incorrect.

If people had a problem with the OP I suggest it is they who need to stop and think about what they are saying.

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