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I don't value my life anymore


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And that is brave. That is such an important thing that you're trying. And no matter what you feel, what your brain tells you, please allow yourself to realise how strong you are for still looking for hope and not giving up. You're stronger than all the bad things in your life because you refuse to let them win. And that is enough for now. If you still want to get help and get up to your feet, all you need is that hope. You're doing just fine.

There is one thing one mental health professional made me to do when I was hopeless with my life: she asked me to imagine what I wish my life was, what things would have to change, how I would feel if things were like I wanted. By picturing what things you wish to your life you'll have a batter picture about what things you should change to get closer to your goals. Maybe give that a try? Maybe you'll also realise that there are already things in your life that wouldn't need to change that much.

Just give yourself time, time and time. Right now the first step for you is to convince yourself that you really do want to continue living. Don't think all bad things in your life can be changed in a matter of days - it'll be a long process but it will also make you a better, stronger person. But right at the moment, realise you want help and concentrate on that feeling. You can improve yourself and your life so much. You're not hopeless.

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I think if I could only go back a few years to my previous job I was ok then I wish I'd never left

Hey there Bruces do you honestly think if you could return to your old job that would fix everything? I'm just thinking that all, maybe you can contact them sometime with a nice letter of you wanting to return there& write everything how you truly feel about that job& how it makes you feel & what you would do to return back there.I think this may help perhaps because nothing is impossible remember that ok my friend :original: .I know you're trying very hard I know also when I was so severely depressed as you're for many years I tried doing everything also you name it in the hope that it will help me& make me feel better but it didn't work because just like you the depression& everything else were just too strong really but you keep on trying I can see you're doing your very best :original: .

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Bruce as this thread has progressed it’s become clear that you are doing a lot of things to help yourself already. That is brilliant that you are working part time with your dad and you do all the other things you have mentioned. When I have had bad depression I am very lethargic and I did not want to do anything at all, I just stayed at home and slept on and off. But you are going to work, going to the football and so on, and taking yourself off to the seaside and its really good that you want to do those things, it says a lot about you as a person and the courage you have. It sounds like you are stronger than you think you are and you are trying to make things better for yourself.

Looking ahead can be daunting and over powering, but may be try breaking things down and setting yourself small goals that you can gradually achieve. I think that if we look ahead to far at what we do want to achieve it can seem so far away as the goal is to great and we can feel we can never achieve that. But setting ourselves small achievable goals is more realistic and achievable and our confidence grows as we complete every small goal and before we know it we have achieved our main big goal.

We can’t do everything at once and I think if we try to we are just setting ourselves up to fail, we have to move at a pace that is right for us as individuals. The important thing is not the speed at which we go but that we are moving forward.

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Don't put a value on your own life, you always under charge, let others put a value on it. My Mum didnt value herself and yet she was priceless. I dont value myself and yet I was priceless to her.

When life is downhill we cant enjoy anything on the way down because its all blurred. Pick yourself up and start marching back up hill, its a slow process but there is time to notice the things you missed in the decent.

Edited by Phili
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I wish but can't see it

That’s depression Bruce, we can’t see a way out, we can’t see the future, we live in a depressing now, but we have to keep going to find the way out, it won’t go if we don’t look.

Edited by Arrow
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I just can't believe how my life has turned out what a complete and utter disappointment

You can only say that about your life when its over, even if you only have a year, its time to make a difference. Wallowing wont help, there is an unknown horizen, follow it, before the sun sets.

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Bruce I don’t think it is helping you constantly posting trying to confirm for yourself your life is pointless, what you keep writing is only confirming in your mind that it is, when it is not.

I will never agree with anyone that life is pointless.

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I've been downgraded or fired from every job I've had due to ocd

I have never had a job. I cant go out. Cant take care of myself. I have no friends, no lovers. I lost my Mum and Dad last year. I spent my whole day and and still now obsessing over numbness in my hands and feet and face.

I cannot lay down to sleep, cant wash, I sit in my bed all day padded with pillows. 20 years of being agoraphobic has made it hard for me to walk and I now need a walking aid. I spend every day expecting the axe to fall, everyday as if it were my last, every day mourning for the life I think is going to be taken away. Because without it, there are no chances.

Death is easy because its worthless

Life is hard because its worth fighting for

life goes on.

Edited by Phili
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It really is a terrible terrible world where so many people have to suffer in various forms,it really is such an awful place,one thing is I'm glad I've never had children to make them endure this world

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I won't be able to be a car mechanic again because of the ocd it's just too much I've been offered a job delivering for a bakers on minimum wage,is that my limit now !!!

I lived in poverty for years, watching my family suffer around me and not being able to do anything but be a burden. Even now my worth is my dissability which keeps us above the bread line.

I wanted to be an historian, I wanted to be a wife and mother, I wanted love and comfort and friendship and I have none of it and never will.

Sitting in a cornor lamenting will bring you nothing and will do nothing. Life is full of bumps but I know there are people whose bumps are far higher than mine.

I want to be a writer. Once I could not right because of OCD, now I can type 56 words a minute.

This world is beautiful. With Health anxiety you realise that, you realise just how beautiful it is. For all its tradegy life has beauty.

Edited by Phili
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