Latest bad worry

[Vickii]

Can that interfere with your mental health state?

[bruces]

I don't really know,my older brother visited tonight he is the opposite of me he has a good job a new car and his own house,he has complete confidence in his own abilitys and has been very successful,then there's me what a complete black sheep I often find myself wishing I hadn't existed to spare my worthless painful existance and my parents despair and worry,how I mourn missing out of been a normal worthy person on the plus side I'm getting a donors card so hopefully I can help the worthy when I'm gone

[Hal]

Does worth only come down to how successful we are, what car we drive, the sort of house we live in? You see Bruce to me it doesn't, not at all.......to me everyone has an inherent value and worth - that's what the depression's clouding.

Now OK, maybe I'm morphing into an old hippy the older I get, that's more than possible........but have you thought about forging a new way of looking at life and your place in it, not one dictated by superficial stuff like money and status.......how about qualities like kindness and compassion?

I'm not sure tbh what to make of the donor comment, maybe I'll leave it at that......but why not do something to help people while you're here, why not volunteer at your local animal shelter or old people's home? What's to lose, you feel awful in yourself, why not feel terrible doing something for someone else......that's how Florence Nightingale coped with her depression......her life to her at that time held no value and so she decided to go to the Crimea to nurse the British troops.

I'm not suggesting you go that far, but I really believe Bruce if you began putting yourself in situations where you could see people viewing you with respect and gratitude you may start to see yourself much more positively and realise the contribution you can make in life and the qualities that are there now within you, but being masked by how you're feeling.

[snowbear]

Does worth only come down to how successful we are, what car we drive, the sort of house we live in? You see Bruce to me it doesn't, not at all.......to me everyone has an inherent value and worth.

Now OK, maybe I'm morphing into an old hippy the older I get, that's more than possible........but have you thought about forging a new way of looking at life and your place in it, not one dictated by superficial stuff like money and status.......how about qualities like kindness and compassion?

I'm not sure tbh what to make of the donor comment, maybe I'll leave it at that......but why not help people while you're here, why not volunteer at your local animal shelter or old people's home? What's to lose, you feel awful in yourself, why not feel terrible doing something for someone else......that's how Florence Nightingale coped with her depression, she thought her life held no value but decided to go to the Crimea to nurse the British troops.

I'm not suggesting you go that far, but I really believe Bruce if you began putting yourself in situations where you could see people viewing you with respect and gratitude you may start to see yourself much more positively and realise the contribution you can make in life.

:clapping: :clapping: :clapping:

Well said, Hal. I agree. Kindness, compassion, doing things to help others - these are huge successes attainable by everybody.

Everybody has inherent value and worth, whether they believe it or not.

[bruces]

Li suppose it's not all about money but I'm also living in a house owned by my father which I'm not currently able to pay rent for so he's losing out too,I'm so wrapped up in my own misery I fail to look out for others,I'm incredibly selfish because of it,it's absolutely disgusting my sister gave birth to a daughter 3 days and all the family are racing round to see the baby but I havnt been and you know why? Because it doesn't mean anything to me how disgusting is that???

[Purplepiper7]

Why not go and see your neice? Even if you don't feel anything, she probably wants to meet you, and you may feel something once you see her.

[Saz]

Hi bruces I'm so sorry you are struggling and feeling so low.

I think you need to give this your best shot, it will be hard but you can do it bruces. You don't want to feel like this anymore right? You want to feel better? You can get through this slowly but surely by making small achievable goals each day.

You need to make a list that will help and guide you and try your best to stick to it. It could look something like this..

1 Get those all important blood tests done. (Being low in certain vitamins can have a negative effect on mood).

2. Feed my body the nutrients it needs in order to help it function to the best of its ability. (Eating a healthy balanced diet, consisting of fruit, veg, nuts, seeds, organic were possible).

3. Get half an hour of fresh air a day. (Being stuck in all day isn't healthy for us)

4. Visit my niece. (You could do this once a week maybe?).

5. Do a good deed for the day. (Could be something as simple as making a cup of tea for your dad or doing a small task in the house).

6. Be kind to yourself. (Read a good book or watch a film, have a nice long soak in the bath - my favourite).

7. Set some 'bigger' goals for the future. (Sign up for a course, join a local group etc).

8. Go back to G.P.if your struggling, ask for more CBT. (You have nothing to lose).

These are just some ideas that I think could really help you bruces, I hope you don't mind me suggesting them. I really like what HAL said about material things not mattering...I have completely changed my views on life and I agree completely. I drive a rubbish little car, years old, I don't want to drive, I use it to get to work and if I didn't live so far away from work I hand on heart wouldn't have it. This year for Xmas I'm making some of my own Xmas gifts using empty wine bottles, paint and bits and pieces out the poundshop to decorate them. I know your situation at home isn't ideal in your eyes but I think try and look for the positives in it, you do have a roof over your head (good starting point) so from there you can work through the list and you will see things start to improve for you, I'm sure of it. You can even report back here and let us know how your getting on...what do you think Bruces? Hope I've helped xxx

[Guest Tricia]

Reading back through this thread Tricia said you should have a blood test, why was that?

Nutritional deficiencies play a huge role in mental (and physical, of course) health. A lack of just one vital nutrient can lead to severe depression.

Vitamin D is one that many of us lack and it is now known to lead to deep depression. Few doctors in this country bother to do routine testing and will prescribe drugs like SSRIs instead. These are unlikely to be that helpful if a person has a deficiency. For example, people with low folate have only a 7 percent response to antidepressants. I think every one of us should be offered a test first. I don't think any GP would refuse. What is shocking is that it isn't their first course of action. (B12, D and folate particularly vital to test)

I am sure many here are sick of me banging on about this, but I have now read a great deal on the subject and have witnessed the total transformation of a close relative who went from contemplating suicide to being free of depression - just by increasing her vitamin D level.

P.S. My relative did all she could to alleviate her depression - healthy diet, exercise etc,. but nothing will work if the brain is being starved of the nutrients it needs.

Edited November 8, 2015 by Tricia

[PolarBear]

It's funny but I never paid attention to supplements until a week or so ago. I went to get my prescription filled and the pharmacist, who I know quite well, asked me if I wad taking vitamin D. I wasn't. He proceeded to lecture me for 20 minutes on the benefits of D and how people in northern climates don't get enough. He talked about all the research done. He noted that it's a mood stabilizer. He went on and on. I left with a bottle of D and have been taking it since.

[bruces]

I want to go and offer all my organs to the donor list,2 birds with one stone And all that

[Saz]

Bruces what did you think of my suggestions? Think you can give them a try? Xxx

[bruces]

I'll try,I'm just so exhausted with it all,all I want to do is sleep,I don't think I can hold on much longer

Edited November 9, 2015 by bruces

[Saz]

I know, it probably seems like the last thing you want to do is a list and the list probably seems overwhelming but why not try even one of those things...get yourself a nice bath, make a cup of tea and make arrangements to Visit your niece this week? X

[bruces]

I just want to be put out of my suffering I can't take it anymore

[Saz]

Please speak to a family member or go to your gp bruces, please...It really doesn't have to be like this. I'm sure you want to get better, give it a go, you deserve to be happy x

[bruces]

I've never felt happiness

[Saz]

Never at all? That makes me feel sad. However wouldn't you like to experience it then? What have you got to lose? If you don't mind me asking have you had therapy and are you on any medication? X

[bruces]

My last recollection of happiness was childhood but I do take a little comfort in knowing that life is temporary and one day I will never have to have anymore thoughts and drag myself through the cesspit of life anymore

[Saz]

But maybe you could look at it like your depression and how your feeling is only temporary - you just need some help and support to get you out of it - then you can start living your life.

I think you should really go back to your gp bruces, get those bloods done.

My friend was in a very bad way a couple of weeks ago with depression and anxiety. She literally could not get off the couch, she needed almost round the clock care but she went to her gp and got put on some anti depressants and anti anxiety med's and is now feeling a whole lot better.

If you don't want to take medication then at least try some therapy. I take a low dose of sertraline and am looking to come off it in the spring for good. It's was just a temporary messure to help me out. I'm not saying ill never need them again but I have to admit they did help somewhat. X

[bruces]

People say it's only temporary but I've felt the same for 25 years I'm on meds

[Guest Guppy]

I think if we're honest because our bodies are pretty geared up to be anxious those of us with OCD can suffer from excessive anxiety about non OCD things too.

I understand what you are feeling. It broke me up pretty bad when the last of my grandparents went and I realised my parents would be next.

The right, positive thing to do is to spend time with your father enjoying every minute. That's what will make his life brighter. And yours.

In the end, we are all mortal. You. Me. Our parents. The woman I love so hard it hurts. Even my nephew, born this summer. The thing that makes that horror survivable is making life better for those we love around us. And that's our duty in life as fellow mortal human beings.

Edited November 9, 2015 by Guppy

[bruces]

I upset my parents because I just wonder around like a zombie I've lost all interest in things and my will to live is zero it's a terrible place to be

[Saz]

Maybe you need new medication? Also I know it's hard bit try to do a little bit from the list I made. Go right now and get a nice bath or shower

[bruces]

My dads been round giving me a hard time to tidy up but to tell you the truth I just really can't be bothered

[Guest Guppy]

Bruces: You have felt happiness and you will again. It's your mind tricking you into thinking otherwise. Saz is giving good advice. Follow it.