Gemma7 Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 I don't know. How did Scrooge win the football game? The ghost of Christmas passed Link to comment
Ashley Posted December 15, 2015 Author Share Posted December 15, 2015 What happened when Santa went speed dating? He pulled a cracker!!! BOOM BOOM P.S... people of a certain age will remember why I said BOOM BOOM at my lame joke Link to comment
Saz Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Why can't you do washing up at Christmas? Because the fairy is on top of the tree Link to comment
Saz Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 What does miley cyrus eat for Christmas dinner? Twerky! Lol x Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Why can't you do washing up at Christmas? Because the fairy is on top of the tree :lol: Link to comment
taurean Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Why did the robin "see red" after finishing his game of football? Because he looked in the mirror in the changing rooms. Link to comment
CJay Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 What do you call Rudolph with lots of snow in his ears? Anything you want he can't hear you! Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 Q) How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? A) Nothing, it was on the house! Link to comment
Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 (edited) What do you call Rudolph with lots of snow in his ears? Anything you want he can't hear you! :lol: Edited December 15, 2015 by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze Link to comment
Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 (edited) Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing? Because they always drop their needles! Edited December 15, 2015 by Lost_in_a_Dark_Maze Link to comment
taurean Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 What did the mother duck hand out to her brood at the christmas lunch? Quackers. Link to comment
Caramoole Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 {{{{{{{{{GROAN}}}}}}}}}}}}} Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby? Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! Link to comment
snowbear Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer! :lol: I still haven't got any jokes, just posting Smilie responses to enable me to join in whenever you lot make me laugh. Link to comment
taurean Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 I reckon Gemma's got a book of these :original: Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) I reckon Gemma's got a book of these :original:Actually I admit to having a tiny advantage. My parents bought me an advent calendar which they have done since I was little ( I am now 31!) and it has a joke a day. So my aim was to share that with everybody, spread the Christmas joy if you like. Speaking of which why is it getting harder to buy advent calendars these days? Because there days are numbered! P.s sorry for breaking the one a day rule Ashley but couldn't help it! Edited December 16, 2015 by Gemma7 Link to comment
snowbear Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 The best bit about that advent calendar joke was I didn't even realise it was a joke until the punch line sank in (took a moment too!) :laugh: Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 The best bit about that advent calendar joke was I didn't even realise it was a joke until the punch line sank in (took a moment too!) :laugh: Link to comment
taurean Posted December 16, 2015 Share Posted December 16, 2015 (edited) What does Santa do with his fat elves? He sends them to the Elf farm! Edited December 16, 2015 by taurean Link to comment
Ashley Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 Why did Santa hand in his resignation? Because there was no Claus(e) in his contract Link to comment
Gemma7 Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 What is the best Christmas present in the world? A broken drum, you just can't beat it! Link to comment
Saz Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 What is a mum's (or dads) favourite Xmas Carroll? Silent night! X Link to comment
gingerbreadgirl Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 What is a mum's (or dads) favourite Xmas Carroll? Silent night! X haha that made me laugh! Link to comment
Ashley Posted December 17, 2015 Author Share Posted December 17, 2015 A little delve into the political area of Christmas Cracker jokes... these two made me laugh. Why won't Santa visit Nigel Farage?..... Because he only comes if you sleep, not if UKIP Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars? He gets to open the door to number 10 Link to comment
taurean Posted December 17, 2015 Share Posted December 17, 2015 What's the most popular Christmas wine? I don't like brussel sprouts ! Link to comment
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