Cold Turkey

[Guest fromm]

I am considering drawing a line in the sand and quitting my compulsions cold turkey. I have done this before, albiet with the help of the natural elation of my son being born and my responsibilities as a parent. Tracing back to the root of it, much of what I do involves some form of scrupulosity, a fear of eternal damnation, and superstitious ideas, fears I developed when my anxiety disorder began in my grade school years. I am a rational human being and though I am spiritual, my spirituality is grounded in the effort to simply love others as well as myself, the latter being far more difficult than the former. Rationally, I see no reason to make concessions and suffer needlessly, though I am afraid to take the first step. As the community of this forum has been greatly supportive and helpful to me I would like to hear your thoughts and experiences on taking this route to recovery. Thank you all.

[gingerbreadgirl]

I am in theory a fan of cold turkey, and i think you should go for it - prepare for it to be hard, though xx

[snowbear]

I think cold turkey is actually easier than gradual withdrawal for physical compulsive rituals. You draw a line in the sand and when you start to slip you can just stop mid-ritual because you're past the deadline you set yourself and that's that. No going back to old ways. Works well for people with a lot of self-discipline.

Good luck!

[PolarBear]

My concern is that you know exactly what compulsions you perform. Just know what compulsions you need to stop. Watch out for ruminating. Good luck.

[Guest fromm]

Much of it has to deal with superstitions and scrupulosity, at least the worst of it, and those beliefs contradict who I am as a person. I believe that I need to accept uncertainty which, in itself, is faith. I'm not talking in strictly religious terms but the paradox of OCD is that the compulsions we use to us give temporary comfort unravel us in the long run. As you say: "No one ever overcame OCD by continuing to do compulsions".

I want to thank the lot of you on this forum for the support. It has helped bring me clarity. I'm sure I'll be making more posts as I move along with this.

Thanks again :original:

[PolarBear]

You`re welcome, fromm. Ask anytime you need help.

[SaraJane]

I've done this before with scrupulosity and it was really tough but it did make a massive difference and I would say if you can manage it then it is a good approach. I got to 3 years at one stage without performing my main compulsion - sadly I found I only needed to succumb once to it even after all that time and the cycle started again and I am currently having CBT. I think it would have been more beneficial if I had managed to go cold turkey with all of my compulsions rather than just the one because ocd will grab hold of whatever it can to grow back into dominance. I did have support through it though which made a massive difference especially at night so it is def worth looking at how you can get some support through those first few days/weeks of cold turkey. The initial part was worst and that lasted 3 weeks and that is when I needed the most support.

I think there may be one advantage here to the gradual approach over cold turkey though (especially if done through CBT and with a therapist) which is that it gives you the skills and knowledge long term about how to prevent the ocd coming back - I suspect if I had combined the cold turkey with more knowledge of how to beat ocd through CBT then I would have had better skills in preventing the illness from growing back so much. I'd encourage you to read around ocd and CBT if you haven't already done so.

I hope it goes well.

Edited December 29, 2015 by SaraJane

[snowbear]

I think there may be one advantage here to the gradual approach over cold turkey though (especially if done through CBT and with a therapist) which is that it gives you the skills and knowledge long term about how to prevent the ocd coming back - I suspect if I had combined the cold turkey with more knowledge of how to beat ocd through CBT then I would have had better skills in preventing the illness from growing back so much. I'd encourage you to read around ocd and CBT if you haven't already done so.

That's excellent advice.

I've gone cold turkey many times over the decades and it's great while it lasts, but the OCD always came back eventually. Probably because the only tool I had in the box was my stubborn refusal to give in. (Works a treat when I'm fighting the OCD, but works equally to keep OCD going once it gets a hold.)

It's only been since properly engaging with cognitive therapy I've learned new skills to nip recurrences in the bud and not let OCD spiral back and take over again.

[Guest fromm]

Last night I faced one of my most feared compulsions with support from my fiance. I made it through but I'm still feeling the effects of the anxiety from it today. My plan was to let the flood gates open and just grit my teeth but I don't think that is what is best for me. I need breaks between to clear my head and my anxiety or otherwise it is constant. I've taken up keeping a journal and writing down the "four r's" to put things in perspective. I don't think I have the tools or the wherewithall to take it all at once but my frustration and tenacity helped me face one of my biggest fears. Right now I'm having a break at work and I felt a pang of guilt at not following through directly with my next "exercise" but I'm tired and need room for some relaxation, something that is supremely difficult for me to do.

[PolarBear]

Good for you. Don`t feel bad. You need a break between exposures... just not too long a break.

[nrh12]

Hi

I tried something similar a few years ago, but was related to a specific obsession/compulsion: clothes washing. I basically took the stand with myself that if it was in the wardrobe/drawer I would wear it and take for granted that i had put it the wash when necessary. I'm not saying there weren't slips sometimes or steps back but it can work.

PolarBear mentioned about making sure to avoid rumination, also watch out for small reassurances or part performance of compulsions: for me this would have been casually or briefly thinking about wether or not I had washed something or if I did randomly remember washing something I might think about it too much or start to rely on this fleeting memory.

Neil

Edited December 29, 2015 by nrh12

[snowbear]

Well done, fromm!

Good work. Tenacity and determination will take you far, but at the same time there's no shame (or guilt) in needing to pace yourself.

Think of pauses in forward progress as 'consolidation time' rather than a break. Sometimes you need a chance to adjust to the new baseline and gather your strength for the next push up the ladder.

Only if you stop trying and accept the status quo is it a true 'break'.

You can do this! With time you'll learn to trust your instincts on when you're genuinely resting/consolidating and when you're skiving the next step. Good luck.

[Guest fromm]

The next hurdle is New Year's Eve/Day. I had been pressuring myself to consolidate the challenges ahead and finish them within the next few days which is wildly unrealistic and not a healthy way to go about therapy. Part of it is not that I have to trust my instincts but to even recognize them in the first plae. What I mistake for instinct and self preservation are, in so many words, synthetic thoughts and fears. I'm going to try and find some worksheets I can print out to give me a managable template. I used to avoid writing any of it down simply because I didn't want to remember the shame, pain, and loss that came with OCD.