Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I couldn't make the doctors this morning and they are contacting the mental health team which I have no idea what this means....the nature of my thoughts are getting more sick and convincing me I'm dangerous and I'm feeling literally suicidal I keep breaking down....I think sleep deprivation is making it all a hundred times worse....I'm really scared for me and my baby and am crying writing this. I don't feel safe and have never been this bad my baby is eight months old and I fear so much she will be taken from me and I feel guilty and terrible please please help xx Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Plus my health visitor has just called worried sick and is trying to get me back to the doctors today I feel very very scared xx Link to comment
Guest ciaramarie Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Be brave and breath just see it as you gonna get help now with dealing with your OCD you don't know whats gonna happen till they get there x Link to comment
Caramoole Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Try and stay as calm as you can, as Ciaramarie says, try and slow your breathing down You've probably wound yourself, got more and more scared which then makes the thoughts and fears even worse, it becomes a vicious cycle. You will be okay and no-one is going to take your Baby away,. You just need a bit of support at the moment :hug: Link to comment
Em24 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I had the mental health team round before. They r just there to get u into the right therapy quicker. Like skipping the gp stage x Link to comment
SaraJane Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I know this must be very frightening for you. I've been there - had severe post-natal depression as well as the ocd as a single-parent requiring attendance at a mental health day hospital. I was told I had to stop breast feeding to take my meds or I would be hospitalised as an in-patient but in all of that no-one ever took a single step towards taking my two children away. I got a lot of much needed support though, counselling and a place to go to (the day hospital) with my baby until I was well enough to leave. The health visitor was fantastic. It really does seem very scary at the time but hopefully out of this you will get the support you need. Really glad you are posting here and if you can please post an update. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm just waiting for a doctors appointment now and they are literally rushing me in I don't know what benefit a g p appointment will do today unless they are going to get me straight onto meds or something all I know is I can't cope anymore with all these horrible thoughts and feelings out of sorts I've been in floodsall day and am so exhausted.... I get so scared of the nature of my thoughts that are tormenting me I really am terrified xx Link to comment
SaraJane Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Glad you posted an update Scorpio and I hope that this is a turning point for you in getting some support. I was given meds initially and then referred for other support. Do you think you will be able to take meds if they suggest them? Sometimes they can make a big difference whilst all the other things such as counselling or CBT are put in place. It may also be helpful to look for additional sources of support (as you are doing posting here) and things that may help as you go through this. I used to call The Samaritans at my lowest just to talk to someone but I also found writing helpful. I still write now and one of the main things I do is brainstorm things that may help in a given situation because it can be hard to think of those things again on other tough days. Please keep posting updates and I hope the GP appointment works out to provide the best support for you. Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm willing to try anything I'm fed up of battling alone now I hate meds but feeling like this is unbearable I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life xx Link to comment
Em24 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Hope it goes well for u Scorpio. Its the 1st step in feeling better and the 1st is always the most scary but you've done it ? xx Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 Just leaving for docs now will let u know someone jusf said the classic don't tell them intrusive thoughts around baby social services will be all over u Great x Link to comment
Guest ciaramarie Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Well that's not right,it makes you feel like your guilty. I had that when I went to see doctor x but you have OCD ur not a danger to your child Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I've been put on paroxitine the doctor asked if I had had thought of hurting baby concerned i said yes but not like i would act on it and said please don't think I would hurt my baby xx Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 They are going to review me in two weeks xx Link to comment
SaraJane Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Well done Scorpio. You've taken a massive step talking to the doctor. Two weeks is a good amount of time to start taking the medication in and hopefully you will be starting to feel some benefit from the meds by then. Has the GP suggested CBT at all? Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I've got a referall to the mental health team so I'm thinking they will take it from there and find out what's gone wrong I get so frightend that one will say it isn't ocd just that I'm a twisted person...i am 34 and never taken meds in my life...any feedback on paroxitine???xx Link to comment
Guest doris Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Hey scorpio, Just read through this post now. So glad you were able to get some help and that it all went well. I'm sure they won't decide you are a twisted person since you seem to have a pretty classic form of ocd! I'm not on paroxetine, but I was very frightened to take meds and had also never been on them before my mid 30's. I was pleasantly surprised at how I didn't have any bad side effects and how much it helped with my anxiety and ocd. I hope it goes well with you. Link to comment
PolarBear Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Paroxetine is otherwise known as Paxil or Seroxat. It's a standard SSRI used to treat depression, anxiety disorders and OCD. Lots of people are on SSRIs. Some people experience side effects and often those side effects go away in time. Don't expect to see a big change in yourself right away. It takes quite a while (weeks) for SSRIs to start doing their job. Link to comment
Aileen82 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Hi Scorpio glad you are getting the help you need. I'm also a 34 year old mum with my 4th due in a couple of weeks. I know how scared you are but you are on the road to recovery now. I take ssri's when not pregnant and they do absolute wonders for me. I know they don't work for everyone but I would definitely recommend giving them a shot and yes give them time to work too. Wishing u loads of luck xx Link to comment
Em24 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 You have done really well facing up to it all and asking for help, as PB has said it can take a few weeks for the SSRI's to kick in. I would suggest not reading the included leaflet stating all the possible side effects of the meds. I know when I do that I magically end up with all the life threatening ones!! (Although there AREN'T life threatening ones with SSRI's but u know what I mean!) Anyways, keep us updated, you are doing the right thing xx Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I hit breaking point and still don't feel better feel worse after getting help but am sure it will get better iln time...I hate it all I'm so tormented by thoughts and urges feeling etc just want a break x Link to comment
Em24 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 You'll start to get breaks once you get help, have u got any self help books? xx Link to comment
Scorpio Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 I've got break free from ocd but I'm too tired to read it lol trying to get a good nights sleep tonight xx might make a difference Link to comment
Legend Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 when i was poorly , i remember someone saying to me , it will and does get better. It does Scorpio. live for each day , its ruddy hard it is , but it will change Link to comment
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