Interested in hearing your experiences of OCD tricking you into believing what is untrue.

[pureosufferer]

My pure o has recently been spiking very badly and one of the worst parts is that I often can't tell if the thoughts are really intrusive/unwanted or not. Sometimes they just seem so real and because they come from within my own brain I worry that if I stop fighting the thoughts I'll "realise" the thoughts are not really intrusive or something. I am aware that pure o is a tricky beast  which will do its best to trick people in this way but because of that very reason I'm having trouble convincing myself.

 

Anyone else have any experience with this kind of issue? 

[Handy]

You accept the  thoughts & not fight them & not react.

 

Try reading some of our other topics on this.

[Guest BadgerFox]

1 hour ago, pureosufferer said:

Anyone else have any experience with this kind of issue? 

...I imagine literally everyone on this forum has experience with this kind of issue, surely? It's kind of the point of OCD. When your OCD spikes, it's normal to feel like you're constantly on the verge of 'realizing the thoughts are true after all'. If we could all put the thoughts aside and just instantly realize they were false, OCD kind of wouldn't exist. 

(Sorry, I wish I could say something more helpful, but I just wanted to make it clear you're not alone in feeling this way. We've all been there, and it's pretty horrible, but with CBT that stage CAN be got past.)

 

Edited May 25, 2016 by BadgerFox

[pureosufferer]

Thanks for your advice guys. I've been doing CBT for the last couple of months but I really don't feel it's working. I had four OCD free (almost) years before this and I had a couple of very minor spikes during that time but for the most part the intrusive thoughts didn't bother me. The past few months have seen my OCD return though and it's alarming. Even worse than feeling like believing the thoughts are the occasions (which have been increasing in frequency) when I get the IT's but no anxiety or only mental and not physical anxiety. This makes it extremely difficult to keep believing that the thoughts are intrusive. I'm going to try a combination of SSRIs plus the CBT and see if that helps at all. 

[Guest BadgerFox]

On that topic, just wanted to say...I think I reached the stage that you describe the other day, where you don't feel any real anxiety about the intrusive thoughts, but they still feel bad/guilty/disturbing? I thought of you :) Because you're right, it felt REALLY strange, temporarily. The thoughts were hanging around unpleasantly but they felt more 'real' and less like OCD because they seemed like my mind was making a reasonable, level-headed, logical statement? 

What got me through was:

a) Guilt/discomfort was a marginally preferable emotion to anxiety. It felt grateful not to be panicking 24/7 anymore!

b) I took it from the experts that this was a sign the CBT was working (even if it didn't feel like it)

c) Bloomin' suspicious, isn't it, that my mind was throwing the exact same thought without anxiety that it was throwing at me WITH anxiety? :D

With continuing to meditate, practicing let the thoughts naturally come in and out of my head, and consuming some good brain nutrients, it seems to be a stage - luckily - that can be got through. I AM sorry that you're finding it difficult to make progress at present, but...don't give up, eh? 

[pureosufferer]

Thanks BadgerFox. The trouble with these thoughts is that they are so disturbing and if one came into my head and I didn't fight it I'd feel like the thought was wanted, even that I could be enjoying the thoughts. I've had this happen before when I just tried to pay the thoughts no heed but that made me spike badly for 5 solid days. Damn OCD!

Anyway, I do appreciate your advice, thanks very much for your support, it is very much appreciated!

[Hosscat]

This is the big problem I have now. I feel like I believe my thoughts and that ill never just flat out not believe them again... Ive been so depressed last few days because I just feel like there is nothing I can do. The anxiety can even get better but since these feel true im just so sad.

[PolarBear]

On 2016-05-25 at 14:19, pureosufferer said:

Thanks BadgerFox. The trouble with these thoughts is that they are so disturbing and if one came into my head and I didn't fight it I'd feel like the thought was wanted, even that I could be enjoying the thoughts. I've had this happen before when I just tried to pay the thoughts no heed but that made me spike badly for 5 solid days. Damn OCD!

Anyway, I do appreciate your advice, thanks very much for your support, it is very much appreciated!

Therein lies the trap, however. When you fight the thoughts, you are paying attention to them and that ensures they will come back, strong, in the future. Take a leap of faith that the thoughts are OCD obsessions and leave them alone.

[Ironborn]

I can so relate with some of what you guys are saying.

Most of the times when an obsession kicks in the anxiety peaks quick for me. it doesnt build up slow, it goes from 0 to 100 real quick!

Everytime a obsession slowly goes away i feel like i have defeated it. until it comes back. the weird thing is, certain obsessions have made comebacks for more then 50 times already and every time they come back it feels as if im gonna find out the thoughts are true. everytime again the same obsession feels 'new' as if i just got it.

i recently had an idea that it might be handy to just tally how many times a certain subject (obsession) has come back and left aswell. maybe when the amount of times i 'defeated' it gets high enough, i only would have to take a look at the numbers and be like... hey look! i already beat you 83 times. so now there's no need for you to even start obsessing because you'll fail anyway.

I dont know if this would be a right way to sort of be able to put the thoughts aside with relative ease, considering the initial response to a recurring obsession is a high anxiety level for me.

Edited May 27, 2016 by Ironborn

[PolarBear]

Ironborn, it doesn't matter how many times an obsession has left. Each time it comes back it's going to feel just as real (if not more real) than the time before. Your only recourse is to leave the thoughts alone, don't react to them at all, and get on with your day.