Am I going crazy?

[Guest ZacDemarco]

Hi I'm a 20 year old male who suffers with pure-O, I'm new to these forums so here's to hoping I'm doing the right format for a discussion.

Anyways today has been complete dread and obsession for me because I had heard a voice not ten minutes after I woke up from sleeping. Now this has become great concern as I myself have a huge phobia of schizophrenia so much so to the point where I obsess about it constantly and do checks if I'm going crazy, or have constant fear of going through psychosis. I guess my question is if there is a logical explanation why I would hear a whispering voice, I didn't understand what I heard but I was so freaked out I felt like having a heart attack which I still do. I do not believe there is really someone talking to me but I swear I heard a voice so mostly I'm on edge and really scared.

Edited May 26, 2016 by ZacDemarco

[Wonderer]

Hiya, please don't worry so much! I sometimes hear someone calling me or my phone buzzing or ringing at times when they really haven't been ? as does everyone! My kids and my partner will sometimes shout "yes??" Or "what?" At me when I haven't called them either! I think auditory hallucinations are absolutely healthy in people without any mental health issues! Xx

[Em24]

Hi Zac

You need to leave these worries be. Easier said than done I know!

You have already mentioned the problem...you have a fear of having psychosis. You also mention doing checks to see if you are crazy, that's a compulsion and will only get you stuck further.

I feel like you may be seeking reassurance from people? You may feel brief relief but you will only doubt yourself again in the end.

Are you currently having any treatment for your OCD? 

 

X

[Guest ZacDemarco]

Hi em,

Yes currently I am getting treatment for my ocd it's actually going alright as I feel talk therapy helps, but only so much sometimes as I still have the obsessions and fears so I have gotten a referral to see a psychiatrist to see what medication is best for me. Though yes I do this for reassurance as I just want to know this was a case of my mind playing tricks on me and I'm not loosing control of myself or loosing a sense of reality. I'm mostly scared I guess so much so I don't know if I'll even be able to fall asleep how worried I am, I feel physically sick from the experience but very tired too.

[Handy]

Everyone hears voices. I'm deaf, I hear them , but they are of no lasting concern to me. This k of them like a stick in the river, soon you can no longer see it. 

[Guest ZacDemarco]

Hi Handy,

Well no it's actually not normal to hear voices that don't have any kind of stimuli in your environment to suggest such a phenomenon. I realized this and soon found It was a concern if you constantly have this issue or believe they are real. Sir I'm very worried for yourself, mostly by your last sentence as this would be suggesting a word salad. Please do yourself a favor and speak to a mental health professional ASAP!

[Em24]

Hi Zac

It's good you are currently getting therapy :) have you spoken to them about this fear?

I think many people with OCD have had this particular worry, myself included.

It's all OCD, it keeps us on our toes. I see it that my OCD over thinks and over analyses everything. There always has to be a cause, meaning or reason. That isn't the case though.

I have had to teach myself a more **** happens approach to thinking and intrusive thoughts.

You may feel like thinking, googling and listing your reasoning for your current belief or fear will eventually get you a concrete conclusion. That won't happen. Trust me there will always be a what if.

If you get over one theme, another will take its place eventually. The problem isn't the fear, it's the anxious response and false meaning we apply to junk thoughts that's the problem here. We are incapable of automatically filtering out the junk thoughts and chucking them in the **** bin.

CBT can teach us how to consciously get over that hurdle and throw that rubbish in the bins ourselves. Eventually it can become 2nd nature. X

[PolarBear]

Hi Zac and welcome to the forum.

Understand that you are asking for reassurance and reassurance seeking is a known OCD compulsion. You are looking for evidence that what you heard can be considered normal and that you're not going crazy. Any answer we give might satisfy you for the short term, but shortly the doubt will creep back, you'll be questioning again and you'll need to seek more reassurance. It can become a never ending cycle.

What you need to do is understand that you are dealing with OCD. Fear of becoming schizophrenic or psychotic are well known OCD themes. What you are going through is perfectly normal, in an OCD sense. You need to ignore the thoughts you are having about your own sanity and let them go. Stop asking for reassurance. Stop (if you are) searching on Google about hearing voices. Leave the whole thing alone and let it die from apathy.

[Filter]

Do what PolarBear says, leave the whole thing alone and let it die from apathy. Are you working? Get a job if you can. When one of these worries come up during it, go "no, this is my brain not knowing what's going on at all because i'm not quite with it at the moment" and carry on doing what you're doing, sorting clothes, typing on the computer, whatever it is. Then when your shift finishes, although you'll feel like being alone so that you can google more about schizophrenia or jump on these forums or ruminate about everything that's going on - don't. Instead, go out with your work buddies or what not. Or watch a movie or something. (You WILL feel bad/uneasy/anxious for doing this. But it's the way forward. You WILL.. over the days, weeks, etc... slowly get better and better). Wake up the day after and go back to work. Rinse and repeat. The whole monster in your head, the whole world of worries/thoughts/fantasies, is just a lie. When you catch yourself engaging with it simply go "ah, yep, i'm doing it again" and then disengage with it, and go back to doing whatever else it is a mentally healthy person would be doing, like doing their job for example. It's all a lie and you shouldn't give it one iota of your time. And when you don't give it one iota of your time, just like PolarBear said it'll eventually die from apathy.