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OCD, or not?


Guest Sophia

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Guest Sophia

To start off with: I know you guys can't diagnose me with OCD, because you aren't doctors and you haven't actually met me. However, I know you all have a lot of experience with this, and a second (or first, I guess) opinion would be nice.

 

Okay, so I'm fourteen; my name's Sophia. All the (possible) symptoms I'm about to say have been occurring my entire life, but they've been getting worse recently and I never really thought much of them because they were so normal. Now, I'm a bit worried there might be something going on. I've only told one friend of mine, a really close one, but not my parents. I feel like they'd either make a big deal out of it or they'd brush it off. I love them, but they don't react the best way sometimes. Anyway, there are three main things I'm talking about here:

1) Street Signs; While driving down the road, unless my eyes are closed, I absolutely must read every single sign. And not just glance at it and recognize the word--I have to say the word "out loud," but in my head. I've been doing this as a far back as I can remember. If I miss a sign, I get this bad feeling that something bad is going to happen, and I get nervous and anxious. To make it go away, I have to close my eyes and remember the exact sign, then read it. Then, I calm down. However, it's extremely disruptive since it's hard to hold a conversation in the car while I'm constantly checking if I've read every single sign. (and it's not just road signs, like STOP or YIELD or whatever; it's also advertisements or buildings)

2) Forgetting Words; If I forget a word or term, I can't just pick a new one and move on. I have to find the exact word I'm looking for, and the longer I don't, the more worried I become, like I haven't communicated my thoughts properly enough. Just yesterday, I was at the airport, and my phone's internet wasn't working. I had forgotten the word "condition" and after about ten minutes of trying to remember, I just moved on, using the word "state", like my state of well-being. However, I grew increasingly anxious until my friend looked up synonyms for "state" and found "condition"--about twenty minutes later. I finally calmed down, but sort of freaked her out because I kept whispering a bunch of words, not allowing the conversation to continue. Usually, I find the word quickly and I'm fine, but when I don't, I start to hyperventilate and I can't focus on anything else. One time it lasted two days.

3) Body Symmetry?; Okay, this one's a little weird, but I don't know. The jist is, if something happens on one side of my body, I have to make it happen on the other. Example 1: a raindrop fell on my right arm, but not on my left. So I wiped off what I thought to be half the water on my right arm and transferred it to my left, on the exact same spot. I kept adjusting it until it felt perfectly half-and-half. Example 2: I was making s'mores a few weeks ago, and I got some sticky marshmallow fluff on my right hand, in between my first two fingers. I tried to put it on my left, but it kept getting uneven. Eventually, I grew frustrated and washed them like crazy until they were both equally raw and clean. Example 3: at this very moment, I'm adjusting the pressure I put on my toes so that they're even. I even use made-up measurements in my head. Right now, my left toes are experiencing 64 pressure, but my right toes are only at 2. So I put about 62 pressure on my right toes, while lifting up my left so they don't gain pressure. However, now my left have dropped down to 36 and my right are getting up to 89, so I lift my right and put down my left, etc, etc. It gets wild.

 

Anyway, I'm searching for opinions from people who have experienced OCD first- or second-hand, and don't worry, if you do say I might have it, I won't do anything drastic. Only a professional doctor could ever diagnose me, I know that. I just need some opinions. Thank you!

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Hi Sophia,

From what you have described I would say it certainly does sound like OCD.

The best treatment for OCD is a therapy called CBT. 

Are you going to tell your parents? I dont know where u are from but telling by your language I'm guessing the US?

If you dont feel ready to tell your parents or go to the Dr then there are some self help books out there which are popular. Break Free From OCD is a good one.

It sounds like your OCD is affecting a large part of your life right now, the important thing to remember is it can get better :)

 

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  • 1 month later...
Guest michael95

hi Sophia, I didn't even need to read you're entire post to understand that you have extreme ocd. Now I've had my fair share of it myself and I've had some very similar experiences to you like if I don't read that word or whatever it may be properly something bad will happen. I'm gonna give you a different example of what it was for me and then ill give you my advice. Basically I could very rarely do something once, like turn the lights off once before I go to bed or wash my hands once, or wash my body once in the bathtub, the reason I would always have to dl these things more than once was because if I didn't something bad would happen to someone I care about and I felt that if I ignored this compulsion to act out on my ocd that I must have wanted something bad to happen even though I knew that wasn't true. This caused me to stop washing myself on a regular basis b because I was afraid I would get stuck in the bath tub for ages washing myself over and over again. Now the thing you gotta realise here is that if you don't make the effort to fight this, its gonna ruin your life. The way i got over this "something bad will happen if I don't read everything I see or do things more than once" bullcrap is you gotta let the anxiety hit you, you're gonna feel guilty for not reacting to it, and you might even feel like part of you wants something bad to happen, but trust me, overtime and with practice those feelings of guilt and anxiety will lesson to the point where this becomes a small part of your day and your life won't revolve around and it you'll start to trust you're lgical thoughts rather than your intrusive thoughts. I'm not saying go full wack all at once and put yourself through torture because I know how hard it can be to resist the compulsion. You'll always have ocd but its a matter of managing it and not letting it ruin your life. I still have it pretty bad but I'm able to coppe and I'm able to ignore a lot of things I couldn't ignore before, like being able to bath regularly, brush my teeth once a night instead of doing it over and over through out the night and turn my bedroom light off once. That may sound silly but for me is a big deal to be able to not have to deal with that **** anymore. You gotta sit back and say to yourself that you have absolutely no control over good things or bad things happening by reading a sign or having to keep everything symmetrical. And when these thoughts tell you otherwise don't fight them off, let them tell you, because all they are is thoughts, they don't reflect on you as a person in anyway shape or form. My best advice is to allow yourself to feel anxious and to feel guilty about not reacting because overtime you'll realise you don eed to waste your time acting out on these compulsions, and trust me this can happen as quick as a day or two for you to start feeling better and less effected by these intrusive thoughts and compulsions. If you or anyone else would like me to go into more detail about all different types of experiences and intrusive thougts I've had over the years just ask. I think I could help a lot as I've never had a set mindset of ocd. For example for about 8 years of my life I couldn't go near my own mother, touch anything she touched or even look at her. I wan to help and share my experiences so people who don't suffer can better understand how crippling ocd can be on someone's daily life. If you had to as me I honestly think I could write a book based on my own personal experiences. I'm interested to see if what I said here has helped you in anyway Sophia. Don't this **** overtake your life.

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Guest michael95

ill reply on my computer next time so i can type it more clearly for you. Id like to help you overcome this because i feel you might be more willing to take my advice considering ive had very similar experiences to you and i know how to deal with it and how hard it is at first.

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