Do you guys think this ocd could cause grey hair (premature grey hair) ?

[Guest aguy]

Hi there,

Firstly what I'm going to write here will be very specific because I feel that I have to do this ritual justice to get sound advice.

If anyone has the time to actually read all of this, I'll really appreciate it. Thanks so much in advance.

I feel like a normal person but there is this one particular ocd 'ritual' that I really can't seem to get on top of and get rid of.

It has to do with uploading pictures on online dating sites and apps.

The ocd ritual occurs when I want to delete the existing pics and upload new pics.

I'll try and describe it as best as possible and without writing lots and lots.

Firstly, this has been going on for like I dunno 5-7 years now, I'm 28. But I don't do it that often. Like sometimes I'll let my pictures sit untouched on these sites for months and months but then I will relapse back into this ritual and delete the existing pics and upload new ones- and that's when the ocd occurs. So sometimes I'll have one or two sessions of this ritual every 4 months for example, but sometimes when I'm not satisfied with the attention I'm getting from women (I'm male) I'll take new pics (but that I can do normally and that is not the issue here) so yeah when I'm not satisfied with the way women are receiving me on these dating apps I'll do this like 3+ times a week, it just depends you know... but it's definitely not every week, it's here and there...

I'm on 3 dating apps on my phone at the moment, pof tinder and Badoo.

Now this is what happens- normal people would just tap on the app on their phone and follow the prompts and stages to get to the point where the photo is uploading... And it goes through... And it's there and that's all there is to it. But I have this very stubborn perfectionist idea in my head that I can upload a photo in a 'better way'. To explain this imagine someone was jogging and using one of these apps and then they upload a photo. To me that isn't going to be an optimum upload because of the jogging movements/vibrations they are making. I feel like it could disturb the upload. And in my mind the photo would likely not look as right or as good as it could.

...So what do I do?

In the living room of my apartment, I move everything off of the table, turn the TV off, turn the overhead fan off... You get the picture?... Basically try to make the environment as still as possible. Then I place my phone on the table and sit on the couch with each elbow on each knee (a sturdy position), and lean forward and I tap the app and load up the app. I even hold my breath or control my breathing to be as calm and still as possible. Now it is the lengths that I go to that have me concerned here. I tap on the app gently and it loads, and I tap my phone more (as you do) to follow the prompts and stages to get to the point where you select the photo and then tap upload and then it goes through with the little progress bar showing (which takes like 5 seconds). I will even hold my breath or time my breaths to be inbetween the tapping so that I don't make any jerky movements. (Sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing is actually like meditation in that is it calming as I'm sitting still and manually controlling myself... Or is it stressful? If I have to be honest with myself, I think it's stressful.)

Now say there's 5 stages on the app I have to tap through to get to the point of the photo actually uploading... If I make any jerky movements, or bump the table, or if a roommate comes back home and the front door slams shut, or there's a particularly loud bang coming from nearby outside (I dunno say a truck was doing something...) do you see what I'm saying- if anything that I notice as disturbing (I like it to be still) takes place I get off the app entirely and start from the start and load it up again.

So what typically happens is basically I load up the app, tap to the next page, tap to the next page and then something ****** up like I bumped something or had to fart or didn't tap my phone as appropriately as possible and do it all again.

Sometimes I will do this for like 3 hours. Sometimes 20 minutes.

You might be thinking "so is this what it's like when you browse the internet too?" No it's just when I'm on these dating sites. I used to go on dating sites on my computer, and it was a similar kind of thing. Yesterday I wasn't doing it on the table, I was holding the phone in one hand and using the other to tap. I was trying to stay still.

What I want to ask is could I be giving myself more grey hair by doing this? Basically can someone give themselves grey hair from ocd like this?

If someone wanted to give themselves grey hair, could they do it?

I have a lot of grey hair at 28 years old and it started coming on at 22 years old, and it came on rather quickly. I'd say half my hair is grey and half is the dark brown natural colour.

After these sessions of this ritual I feel really ******* guilty and bad like I have been contributing to giving myself more grey hair. Its like a cycle. And I'm not on top of it. It's even hard for me to write this up because I feel like I'm stressing as I write this.

But see- I never freak out or start swearing or anything, I'm always in command and in control.

All I ask is that you be honest please and not just say whatever or say what you think I might want to hear.

When I do this ritual I feel like I can feel the sides and back of my head/scalp (and my scalp generally too) getting tense, getting tightened, like pressure, I don't know, and this makes me feel like I'm giving myself more grey hair. I understand some people think the idea of grey hair is cool or even sexy, but I don't like it.

A couple years ago my dad told me to get off these dating sites altogether, and I did for a year and I didn't have this problem but when I went back on them I relapsed. Thank you

[PolarBear]

At the risk of giving you reassurance, you're getting grey hair because your genetics says it's time.

My concern is the compulsive behavior you do when trying to upload a picture. It's why beyond normal. There is no need to be still at all. That you need to work on.

[Guest aguy]

15 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

At the risk of giving you reassurance, you're getting grey hair because your genetics says it's time.

My concern is the compulsive behavior you do when trying to upload a picture. It's why beyond normal. There is no need to be still at all. That you need to work on.

Yeah my mother was having to colour her hair at age 27, seems like I beat her by 5 years though. yayy

I know it's not normal, the rest of me is normal, but this particular thing gets the better of me. It's like- if the only negative implication of this ritual is wasting time then I don't mind at all, but I wonder. I want to know.

Edited July 8, 2016 by aguy

[taurean]

My father went grey at an early age but retained his hair - guess what, so did I.

It is generally accepted that worrying can bring a tendency towards grey hair. 

But making connections like this is typical OCD, mine does it too. 

What do you do?  You treat it the same way as any other intrusions - don't give them meaning, seek answers, neutralise or try and remove. 

[PolarBear]

The thing is, aguy, that once you go down the road of doing one set of compulsions it's easy to slip into doing other compulsions. Then all of a sudden the problem is having a negative effect on your life.

[Guest aguy]

Hi there,

Firstly what I'm going to write here will be very specific because I feel that I have to do this ritual justice to get sound advice.

If anyone has the time to actually read all of this, I'll really appreciate it. Thanks so much in advance.

I feel like a normal person but there is this one particular ocd 'ritual' that I really can't seem to get on top of and get rid of.

It has to do with uploading pictures on online dating sites and apps.

The ocd ritual occurs when I want to delete the existing pics and upload new pics.

I'll try and describe it as best as possible and without writing lots and lots.

Firstly, this has been going on for like I dunno 5-7 years now, I'm 28. But I don't do it that often. Like sometimes I'll let my pictures sit untouched on these sites for months and months but then I will relapse back into this ritual and delete the existing pics and upload new ones- and that's when the ocd occurs. So sometimes I'll have one or two sessions of this ritual every 4 months for example, but sometimes when I'm not satisfied with the attention I'm getting from women (I'm male) I'll take new pics (but that I can do normally and that is not the issue here) so yeah when I'm not satisfied with the way women are receiving me on these dating apps I'll do this like 3+ times a week, it just depends you know... but it's definitely not every week, it's here and there...

I'm on 3 dating apps on my phone at the moment, pof tinder and Badoo.

Now this is what happens- normal people would just tap on the app on their phone and follow the prompts and stages to get to the point where the photo is uploading... And it goes through... And it's there and that's all there is to it. But I have this very stubborn perfectionist idea in my head that I can upload a photo in a 'better way'. To explain this imagine someone was jogging and using one of these apps and then they upload a photo. To me that isn't going to be an optimum upload because of the jogging movements/vibrations they are making. I feel like it could disturb the upload. And in my mind the photo would likely not look as right or as good as it could.

...So what do I do?

In the living room of my apartment, I move everything off of the table, turn the TV off, turn the overhead fan off... You get the picture?... Basically try to make the environment as still as possible. Then I place my phone on the table and sit on the couch with each elbow on each knee (a sturdy position), and lean forward and I tap the app and load up the app. I even hold my breath or control my breathing to be as calm and still as possible.Now it is the lengths that I go to that have me concerned here. I tap on the app gently and it loads, and I tap my phone more (as you do) to follow the prompts and stages to get to the point where you select the photo and then tap upload and then it goes through with the little progress bar showing (which takes like 5 seconds). I will even hold my breath or time my breaths to be inbetween the tapping so that I don't make any jerky movements. (Sometimes I wonder if what I'm doing is actually like meditation in that is it calming as I'm sitting still and manually controlling myself... Or is it stressful? If I have to be honest with myself, I think it's stressful.)

Now say there's 5 stages on the app I have to tap through to get to the point of the photo actually uploading... If I make any jerky movements, or bump the table, or if a roommate comes back home and the front door slams shut, or there's a particularly loud bang coming from nearby outside (I dunno say a truck was doing something...) do you see what I'm saying- if anything that I notice as disturbing (I like it to be still) takes place I get off the app entirely and start from the start and load it up again.

So what typically happens is basically I load up the app, tap to the next page, tap to the next page and then something ****** up like I bumped something or had to fart or didn't tap my phone as appropriately as possible and do it all again.

Sometimes I will do this for like 3 hours. Sometimes 20 minutes.

You might be thinking "so is this what it's like when you browse the internet too?" No it's just when I'm on these dating sites. I used to go on dating sites on my computer, and it was a similar kind of thing. Yesterday I wasn't doing it on the table, I was holding the phone in one hand and using the other to tap. I was trying to stay still.

What I want to ask is could I be giving myself more grey hair by doing this? Basically can someone give themselves grey hair from ocd like this?

If someone wanted to give themselves grey hair, could they do it?

I have a lot of grey hair at 28 years old and it started coming on at 22 years old, and it came on rather quickly. I'd say half my hair is grey and half is the dark brown natural colour.

After these sessions of this ritual I feel really ******* guilty and bad like I have been contributing to giving myself more grey hair. Its like a cycle. And I'm not on top of it. It's even hard for me to write this up because I feel like I'm stressing as I write this.

But see- I never freak out or start swearing or anything, I'm always in command and in control.

All I ask is that you be honest please and not just say whatever or say what you think I might want to hear.

When I do this ritual I feel like I can feel the sides and back of my head/scalp (and my scalp generally too) getting tense, getting tightened, like pressure, I don't know, and this makes me feel like I'm giving myself more grey hair. I understand some people think the idea of grey hair is cool or even sexy, but I don't like it.

A couple years ago my dad told me to get off these dating sites altogether, and I did for a year and I didn't have this problem but when I went back on them I relapsed. Thank you

[PolarBear]

This is the second time you've posted this. You're back here seeking reassurance and that just isn't going to work.

You received replies to your first post but here you are posting the same thing again. What is it you're looking for? Because this had nothing to do with grey hair and everything to do with OCD.

[Ashley]

3 hours ago, aguy said:

If anyone has the time to actually read all of this, I'll really appreciate it. Thanks so much in advance.

Hi,

I have merged this post today with the original which appears to be the same?  Did you post today in error?

Ashley