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Hi..does this ever stop? And how do you deal with being aroused most of the day with unwanted sexual thoughts thats constantly there?. 

I like to call myself a ocd veteran i know all about it am not asking for the normal answers but moraly how do you accept  the arousal and the thoughts? and when you do accept..does it ever stop?

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You don't accept or reject them. You just let them exist and try you're damndest not to ruminate about their potential implication. It's not a moral issue, it's an OCD issue. You can never make the thoughts stop appearing, but you can treat them like the junk thoughts they are and not get into a moral argument that you will never win. Let them coexist with you, and pretty soon your OCD will say "I'm outtie, this is boring, this guy refuses to talk to me." OCD will always win the argument. Don't engage in an argument.

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Aye but i just cant accept it and the guilt i cant overcome either. I get arousaled with the least wee thought it also feels like an actual arousal. I just the feelings to stop. The thoughts i have learned never leave you which is hard.. but surely the feelings do?

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The thoughts, the feelings and the physical sensations can all diminish and even go away but only if you stick to a regimen of not responding to the thoughts and sensations. The less you do about them the better.

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15 hours ago, GG150 said:

Aye but i just cant accept it and the guilt i cant overcome either. I get arousaled with the least wee thought it also feels like an actual arousal. I just the feelings to stop. The thoughts i have learned never leave you which is hard.. but surely the feelings do?

Then don't accept it or overcome the guilt! Neither are necessary steps towards recovery. If you stop doing compulsions, the anxiety related with guilt will naturally subside. If you continue with checking or ruminating, they will remain.

 

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21 hours ago, PolarBear said:

The thoughts, the feelings and the physical sensations can all diminish and even go away but only if you stick to a regimen of not responding to the thoughts and sensations. The less you do about them the better.

This is your answer.  These thoughts are not going to stop right away no matter how much you want them to, so you need to let the thoughts exist, and accept that you will be uncomfortable.  This is temporary though as your brain will learn how to manage them better, and it will gradually become less and less uncomfortable.

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Aye but i just cant accept it

That's where the problem lies.  Non-acceptance, fighting, resisting.  As long as that remains, it is likely the problems, the physical responses will too

We can often understand the principle theoretically and yet are still resisting, pushing away in reality.  It's often difficult to to let go and truly accept....and yet we must.  Think of the sensations as just that, sensations......just like an itch or a belly ache, the sensations are there, they are real but non-theatening, unimportant.  

You are attributing meaning to the sensation and that's what gives it power.  If, when you had an intrusive thought your left big toe itched, it may be irritating but it probably wouldn't disturb you overly......but because it involves your intimate parts....you give it meaning.  Yet, this is still a meaningless itch.

Don't give it a meaning.  Acceptance is the key.  Only then will it pass.  Be brave, accept, ignore and don't attribute a meaning....it is "Meaningless"

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So you think the thoughts are temp? Therefore at some stage if i work they naturally will go and they wont be there and the responses to?

And i agree cara but difference is the thoughts and the feeling am having are connected not like your example.  Do you honestly think its the anxiety that causes the grional responses? 

Very grateful for all responses so far thanks!

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On 7/14/2016 at 21:04, Caramoole said:

That's where the problem lies.  Non-acceptance, fighting, resisting.  As long as that remains, it is likely the problems, the physical responses will too

We can often understand the principle theoretically and yet are still resisting, pushing away in reality.  It's often difficult to to let go and truly accept....and yet we must.  Think of the sensations as just that, sensations......just like an itch or a belly ache, the sensations are there, they are real but non-theatening, unimportant.  

You are attributing meaning to the sensation and that's what gives it power.  If, when you had an intrusive thought your left big toe itched, it may be irritating but it probably wouldn't disturb you overly......but because it involves your intimate parts....you give it meaning.  Yet, this is still a meaningless itch.

Don't give it a meaning.  Acceptance is the key.  Only then will it pass.  Be brave, accept, ignore and don't attribute a meaning....it is "Meaningless"

That is so well said.  I need to frame that!

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13 hours ago, GG150 said:

And i agree cara but difference is the thoughts and the feeling am having are connected not like your example.  Do you honestly think its the anxiety that causes the grional responses? 

 

 

1 hour ago, jimangie1973 said:

the sensations are there, they are real but non-theatening, unimportant.  

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And how do you deal with being aroused most of the day with unwanted sexual thoughts thats constantly there

Hi GG :)

You are looking for reassurance as a way to bring your anxiety down which is a compulsion but for clarity I'll just confirm (once) that these type of thoughts and the groinal sensations you're having are a very common part of OCD.  They are unpleasant and disturbing but they are meaningless in any greater sense.

You're trying to deal with them (as most do at first) by using compulsions to make the anxiety stop and the sensations go away.  You're asking for reassurance here, probably from others.  You're probably Googling for informaion about it (reassurance), you're probably going over it in your head looking for answers (ruminating)....you're probably doing lots of other compulsions like sayin phrases to yourself like "Stop it", " I don't want these thoughts" etc

All of these compulsions (which logically seem sensible) help to maintain the problem.  You have to accept the cause as OCD, accept that nope....you don't like them but you have to accept them and resist carrying out the compulsions.  The first step is to identify the compulsions.  When the thought and sensation hits you and you go into panic mode.....look at what you're doing/saying/thinking when it happens.  Get a pen and paper and for the next few days really look at your reaction, write them in a list so that you can see the pattern.

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So if i try and accept them and relabel them as ocd thoughts then stop doing physical and mental rituals the feelings n thoughts could go to a non ocd person thought pattern without anxiety and etc?

Can i ask one more. See if i for example have a feeling and immediately say *its my ocd* is that a compulisation?

Edited by GG150
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The first part of your post is reassurance seeking. Caramoole already explained it.

No it's not a compulsion to identify a thought ad an obsession. It's what you do after that that counts. As in do nothing and you'll be better off.

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Not really i just want to know if the thoughts and that will stop if i ignore them havent had a answer yet. Asin have you's or know anyone thats passed ocd and stopped having these feelings and thoughts?

And anxiety is the diffo the reason why the responses happen and nothing else. If i knowcthat for certain i could try my hardest to try and accept the thoughts then the feelings i get. Promise this isnt reassurance it would really help me.

Edited by GG150
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If you accept the thoughts for what they are, without fighting them, without doing compulsions....then yes, the groinal response will probably go.  It's not to say you won't ever have a thought that you don't like (everybody has them) just that you have to learn not to react to the thought with fear.

As for the saying "It's my OCD"......although it's not a compulsion in itself, it easily can become one, especially if you use it as a mantra, a phrase that you repeat to make yourself feel better.  It has to become the briefest mental acknowledgement that you identify the thought for what it is, a knowing.  Beware repeating he phrase.

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Should i start off with saying its my ocd not me.. and how long should i do it for?

If you were me what would you say to yourself if u were trying to accept unwanted sexual thoughts n feelings? and advice? 

 

Thanks again for all responses very grateful! 

Edited by GG150
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I wouldn't get into any "saying things" as such.....that would be a compulsion.

You stand here today and consider what's been advised, that the problems you're experiencing are typically normal in OCD, they're very common.....so that next time a thought and sensation hit you, you're not taken by surprise....part of you is prepared for them, you learn to recognise them......you recognise the hot flash of anxiety and panic.....and instead of rolling with the panic, instead of letting it build.....you quietly recognise what's going on, acknowledge the cause, resist any behaviour designed to neutralise the anxiety (including using phrases) and carry on with what you were doing, despite the feelings of anxiety.  Don't examine the physical sensations either.  Just do your best to carry on without engaging with the thought, the sensation or rituals to make it stop.  Simply "know" the cause, "know" the negative/automatic behaviours you've tried to use before to make things better & resist applying them....and carry on with what you were doing despite the anxiety.

Know the cause, know the likely reaction......refuse to debate the "Yes, but what if's?" And carry on despite the doubt and need to have an answer or a solution.

I know it's not easy and it's difficult not to have a response that neutralises the feelings of doubt and anxiety....but there isn't one.  We recognise internally that this is an OCD thought (with accompanied sensation) and carry on whilst resisting using compulsions

 

 

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On my journey, I started out saying "Oh that's just an OCD thought." After a while I realized that I was sort of self-reassuring myself that that nasty thought I just had was in fact just OCD. So I stopped consciously labeling the thoughts and just accepted that they were part of OCD and I just continued on with my day. When we say the less you do about the thoughts the better, we really mean it.

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Sitting there asking those questions and trying to answer them is a compulsion. It's called ruminating and it's not doing you any good. You need to work hard to leave the matter alone. So what if it happened. Leave it alone and get on with your day.

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Fair enough but is it normal for your ocd to transfer to your dreams and have a wet dream because i havent seen any stories saying its normal. I just want control back. Can you give me any  info about this?

Edited by GG150
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It looks like you're still seeking reassurance. Does it/has it helped? Obviously not because you're back - again, seeking more. I say by all means accept the thoughts - and if you're up for it, you could even up the ante - tell yourself that your worst fears may be true, but then don't ruminate, accept the anxiety (no choice anyway) and let it hover. OCD's a bully - it wants you to run from it, to give it 'credibility'. Consider if you can - running towards it. If you can pull it off, you might find you've short-circuited and sabotaged the bully.   

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I know i arent a monster i have ocd and thts why i have thoughts. Just because i know that doesnt mean i know how to accept it. I dont know why?. And believe me i dont have any idea about wet dreams. But i had a horrible wet dream and want to know if ocd caused it and do i have any control over the wet dreams. It arent reassurance when asking the once and i have admit i dont really know much about it. Want to hear someone similar like yourselfes and others with ocd telling me there views or facts about it. Please am confused feel so guity,trapped and just horrible.

Edited by GG150
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