It's been a while..

[Rebekah2016]

Hello all, it's been quite some time since I've been on here. I used to post under the name RiHa but I couldn't remember my PW and email so decided to make a new account.

I've been trying on the road to recovery and some days I do fine others not so well. I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first baby and have noticed my intrusive thoughts have slowly started to creep back and make more of an appearance. I am looking into therapy again as I don't want this over shine the special time of having a child. 

Some of you may remember my previous posts a few years ago when I reacted to a thought and harmed my mums cats, what I wanted to know was do you think it is more than just OCD, I still get those urges around them at times although I control it a lot more now but it has got me thinking do you think it could possibly be to do with something else. My partner has said I have traits of schizophrenia which he is worried about and wants me to get checked out but can I really have that and OCD or do you think I have been misdiagnosed with my OCD and that it is really that or something else?

Hope everyone is doing well xx 

[PolarBear]

Hi Rebekah and welcome back.

Anything is possible I suppose but the mere fact that you are today worried about something that happened years ago speaks of OCD. Do you ruminate over what happened, trying to make sense of it?

[Rebekah2016]

Hi PolarBear, yes all the time I think about what I did and it crushes me. I feel like a terrible person and when I see them it always upsets me at what I did. It makes me worry that I am going to do something awful again or do something to my baby.

My previous therapy sessions weren't helpful as the therapist was convinced I was abused as a child even though I definitely haven't been but because he brought it up every time that put doubt into my mind. I think that is why I have put off therapy for quite a while x

[PolarBear]

That all speaks of OCD. This is what is commonly referred to as Real Life OCD or Guilt OCD. It's when your disorder latches onto something minor from your past and blows it's significance all out of proportion. The sufferer makes things worse by doing compulsions.

Look the type of therapy you need is CBT. It's the gold standard treatment for OCD.

[Magicat]

Hi Rebekah ?

I just posted something very similar myself! Also pregnant, also having thoughts creeping in!

Have you been diagnosed with OCD? What makes him think that you are showing traits of schizophrenia? There are additional supports when pregnant and if you speak to your GP or midwife they can put you in touch with midwifes that are experts in helping expectant mothers with mental health issues!

Cat

[Rebekah2016]

Hi Cat, I was diagnosed with OCD 2 years ago. It's been such a struggle and quite hard to cope with, especially the urges part I feel they are stronger than ever at the moment. 

Today I was with a friends dog and i just gave her nose a tiny squeeze, but now all I keep thinking is did I do that because I wanted to harm her, it really is bringing me down :/

He has said to me that I have shown symptoms so I don't know if he has been googling about symptoms etc but I will go get it checked out at the doctors. 

I'm in the middle of moving towns at the moment so I've been put off talking to my midwife as I wont be seeing her after next week so I feel like I'd not only be wasting her time I'd be wasting telling her.  As soon as I move I was looking to speak to my new midwife and to hopefully get some therapy asap x

[Magicat]

I responded to your other message before reading this!

have you had any treatments in the past? CBT or ERP? Are there some strategies you could employ from there to tide you over until you speak to your midwife? If you're moving town but not that far if it is the same NHS area then it would be the same team who deal with mental health in pregnancy, so it's maybe worth speaking to your midwife and getting the process started?

[Rebekah2016]

I've had therapy for this in the past but it wasn't very helpful and they were probably the worst therapists I'd ever seen. They made me doubt myself even more and wrote me off after 4 sessions even though it hadn't been helpful at all. I'm moving from the West Midlands to the South, I'm dying to get things moving with therapy etc but feel stuck at the moment because of this whole moving malarkey x