Relationship OCD/sexuality OCD???

[Guest PalaeontologyLover]

I'm really stressing out. Im bisexual and I'm in a relationship with a man and I just got this thought the other day that because my sexuality is girls as well that I have to leave him. I love him and I'm attracted to him I don't understand why I can't stop thinking this. I keep questioning if it's real because yes I am bi not straight but I don't want to break up with my boyfriend at all it's just upsetting. I had to leave my boyfriends because of the anxiety and now I'm worried I can't be around him without feeling anxious 

[Ashley]

Hi,

I think your problem is a great example of why the ROCD/HOCD acronyms are completely unhelpful.   Without a shadow of doubt from what you have written we can identify that your obsessions about your partner is OCD fuelled.... so I don't think the type of OCD is important, other than knowing your obsessions are OCD.  That in itself I think can be helpful to try and remember.

Would it help for now to put the issue of you being straight/gay/bi to one side and focus on the individual (if OCD will let you) and focus on the fact you are with a partner you like, fancy, enjoy being with (when OCD is not biting). So simply focus on the individual and the positives that being with him brings rather than the flavour of the relationship?

Sorry I don't know where you are, are you seeing or have you seen a therapist in the past for OCD? 

Ashley

 

 

[Guest PalaeontologyLover]

On 7/20/2016 at 10:11, Ashley said:

Hi,

I think your problem is a great example of why the ROCD/HOCD acronyms are completely unhelpful.   Without a shadow of doubt from what you have written we can identify that your obsessions about your partner is OCD fuelled.... so I don't think the type of OCD is important, other than knowing your obsessions are OCD.  That in itself I think can be helpful to try and remember.

Would it help for now to put the issue of you being straight/gay/bi to one side and focus on the individual (if OCD will let you) and focus on the fact you are with a partner you like, fancy, enjoy being with (when OCD is not biting). So simply focus on the individual and the positives that being with him brings rather than the flavour of the relationship?

Sorry I don't know where you are, are you seeing or have you seen a therapist in the past for OCD? 

Ashley

 

 

Yeah I definitely agree - I think the acronyms are actually adding fuel to the fire in my instance. Yeah that's what I'm trying to do it's just becoming difficult at the moment - it seems OCD always focuses on the people you love most which is hurtful. I am trying really hard it's just this niggling voice "dump him, leave him" and I dont want to.

I've seen a therapist in the past but I sacked it off because to be quite frank they were a bit negligent in their practice. Missing appointments, dismissing OCD symptoms if they weren't checking stuff (I had a problem with that for a while). I think I do need to speak to someone but i'm going on holiday with my boyfriend for 3 weeks soon so wont be able to until I get back. I just need to relearn how to deal with it because my OCD has been fine for a while but i've just had this recent "spike" to be honest and because I havent had to deal with it for so long I feel like ive forgotten how to manage it

[paradoxer]

Yes, acronyms for variants of OCD (apart from being a cursory reference) can be damaging - since OCD will morph anyway, and it's all the same disorder.