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Mental compulsions take the place of physical ones


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I am anxious because I feel like I need to wash my hands.  I don't remember if I did it after using the bathroom. 

When I was making food I asked myself if I washed my hands (reviewing) and I can't answer that question. 

I am refusing to do this because it is a compulsion, but the obsessions continue, and avoiding mental compulsions seems impossible.  I keep reviewing to make sure what I'm doing is OK.  Maybe by refusing to wash my hands I am being unreasonable.

I could just wash my hands-- it'll take one minute and I'll feel better for the rest of the evening. Then I won't be as likely to do the mental compulsions.  I would just need to make sure I was making a mental note of it so I don't forget again.

I want to stick with the CBT but this seems impossible.

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Props to you for refusing to wash your hands. However, you need to resist all compulsions, not just one compulsion. You said avoiding mental compulsions seems impossible. Sounds like you already know what's fueling your OCD. Remember, you can't beat OCD with logic. If you continue to ruminate and review things in your head, it's only going to make your anxiety worse. It's best to have this mindset: "I may or may not get sick from not washing my hands. Either way, I'm okay with it". You have to learn to not only live with uncertainty, but to embrace it. Yes, not washing your hands does increase your chances of getting sick, but when it comes to OCD it's all about taking a risk. I remember reading somewhere that the biggest risk of all is not recovering from OCD. 

 

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9 hours ago, ineedahug said:

I could just wash my hands-- it'll take one minute and I'll feel better for the rest of the evening. Then I won't be as likely to do the mental compulsions.

Yes you would, OCD would find an excuse to say 'what if?'....with OCD, once is never enough.  I have been there, I was that person and I used to pretend one quick simple hand wash would be ok, but OCD would never let it be ok and one hand wash would become two hand washes and soon 10 minutes of hand washing and so on.

Over time I understood this (which did not make it any easier to resist) but time and little exercises showed me I could resist until the day I was able to confront my OCD and do exercises like use the toilet and then make a sandwich, to putting my hands in toilet water and eating food (without washing my hands).  It all takes time to get to that point, but the first step is accepting that 'one hand wash' is just as bad as '100 hand washes' if you are doing it for an OCD reason.

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