Here we go again...

[Guest viking79]

Hey folks!

First of all I want to thank all the positive people here for posting and maintaining hope.

My story in short: 37 year old guy who has been suffering from OCD/anxiety/moderate depression on and off for 12 years. Was hospitalized both in 2004 and 2005, and was put in Lexapro/Cipralex for four years. Managed to come off them and started a healthier life with loads of exercise (lost many kgs which added a lot to my self esteem). 
Had some minor setbacks the following years (2010-2013) but managed without medication. 

Last year (early January) I had a major setback and ended once again up in hospital (twice). I was put on Fluoxetine/Prozac as I was more motivated to start a drug with less likelihood of weight gain. Had a hell of startup side effects - terrible unrest, anxiety, insomnia, dark and intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation and so on. After about two months on them (and after an increase in my dose from 20 to 40 mgs), and with the addition of Mirtazapine/Remeron 15 mgs, the depression finally lifted and I went back to work, more stable and less tormented by OCD thoughts. 

In January this year I decided to stop taking the medicine (now of course this seems sooo stupid) since I have never wanted to be dependent on drugs, and since I had noticed weight gain (which was probably a combination of eating and less exercise last winter). 

This summer I went on a long journey (2,5 weeks) in the US, visiting several cities, doing many flights, with lots of partying, late nights etc. Whilst there, I felt that I was spiralling back to a new nervous breakdown. When home in Norway, I went to the hospital the second night (12th July) and was hospitalized for 10 days. 

I started the Fluox, which was upped to 40 mgs last Monday, and Remeron (this time 30 mgs), and am now on day 16, feeling sooo unconcentrated, empty, worried, anxious, tense, blue and hopeless. 

Off work at the moment (for 2,5 weeks now) going to my GP on Monday. 

Is there hope this time?

[Andrea]

Hi viking79

Of course there is hope this time  You are doing a great job and YOU CAN BEAT OCD!

Have a great appoinment on monday

I send you a big hug