Having a bad time

[lostinme]

Having a really bad day today, I'm hoping not to come across to emotional but I'm feeling really low. I've had quite a few cbt sessions and I would say that if there was ten hurdles I am at the third one. I've been working really hard and making slow progress. However this week is a difficult one I have got to avoid one of my compulsions which I'm finding really difficult and I need to do it for a full day, but I am struggling so much. I managed to do it it 3 times yesterday but only once today. I've failed miserably and I know that it's just a thought but it's haunting me and I can't do it. As late I have managed to mostly dismiss the thoughts, ignore them, even laugh at them when I've been doing my ert, but today I can't seem to shake it off. I am so angry at myself, the more upset I get about it the worse it becomes. 

[Guest Mumof2]

Hi lostinme. I haven't had CBT yet (the docs have kept me well medicated and not suggested it but I have now asked for it). But from what I've read I think it's supposed to get worse before it gets better because you're fighting against it. And I think it's understandable that you're finding it hard to resist your compulsions- if it was easy to resist you wouldn't need CBT would you :-)

What I'm trying to say is, don't be so hard on yourself. You're trying to help yourself which is a major step. You will get there, just take it one step at a time x

[taurean]

1 hour ago, lostinme said:

Having a really bad day today, I'm hoping not to come across to emotional but I'm feeling really low. I've had quite a few cbt sessions and I would say that if there was ten hurdles I am at the third one. I've been working really hard and making slow progress. However this week is a difficult one I have got to avoid one of my compulsions which I'm finding really difficult and I need to do it for a full day, but I am struggling so much. I managed to do it it 3 times yesterday but only once today. I've failed miserably and I know that it's just a thought but it's haunting me and I can't do it. As late I have managed to mostly dismiss the thoughts, ignore them, even laugh at them when I've been doing my ert, but today I can't seem to shake it off. I am so angry at myself, the more upset I get about it the worse it becomes. 

Nobody ever says doing CBT homework is easy, lost, and boy do I know that myself. 

Remember, in OCD we don't judge people - rather we understand, then help and encourage. 

We don't chastise people if they have difficulties/failures - in therapy that is expected. 

And our therapists will know and recognise the various types of cognitive distortions, and help us address them. 

A common one of these is all-or-nothing thinking, where one or two reverses and we think we are total failures. 

If you have tried and not been successful, DON'T see yourself as a failure - we sufferers have all been there. 

Tell the therapist what happened, and why you think that was - he/she will look at this and see how you might get round it. 

[lostinme]

11 minutes ago, Mumof2 said:

Hi lostinme. I haven't had CBT yet (the docs have kept me well medicated and not suggested it but I have now asked for it). But from what I've read I think it's supposed to get worse before it gets better because you're fighting against it. And I think it's understandable that you're finding it hard to resist your compulsions- if it was easy to resist you wouldn't need CBT would you :-)

What I'm trying to say is, don't be so hard on yourself. You're trying to help yourself which is a major step. You will get there, just take it one step at a time x

Hi mumof2,

Thankyou for your kind words of advice and yes your so right if it was that easy we wouldn't need CBT. I think your right about it getting worse before it gets better that's probably why I am finding it harder at the moment, this one is provoking my thoughts so making my anxiety worse.

Its good you have been referred to CBT even though I'm having a tough time at the moment it is the best treatment so far, I am doing things I haven't done for years. Hope you get your appointment soon.

23 minutes ago, taurean said:

Nobody ever says doing CBT homework is easy, lost, and boy do I know that myself. 

Remember, in OCD we don't judge people - rather we understand, then help and encourage. 

We don't chastise people if they have difficulties/failures - in therapy that is expected. 

And our therapists will know and recognise the various types of cognitive distortions, and help us address them. 

A common one of these is all-or-nothing thinking, where one or two reverses and we think we are total failures. 

If you have tried and not been successful, DON'T see yourself as a failure - we sufferers have all been there. 

Tell the therapist what happened, and why you think that was - he/she will look at this and see how you might get round it. 

Hi Taureen, 

Thankyou for your kind words. Your so right CBT homework isn't easy and yes I feel I'm a failure. This one is a difficult one and I really wanted to achieve it to prove to myself I could do it. I will speak to my therapist and tell them my difficulties and hopefully try again. I might also consider going to one of the OCD group sessions it's time for me to admit I have OCD and I think that might me a step forward. 

Thankyou Lostinme.