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Don't want to do my compulsions but feel I need to


Guest alex-online

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Guest alex-online

I don't want to do them, I have been eating so much and waking up late and not going to the gym and been cross with the local services.

I feel like I'm a bad person and my OCD is screaming at me telling me to do my compulsions. In this heat it would take a day straight and I'm so tired and don't feel too well.

I know doing my OCD compulsions won't change what's happened. But it keeps me busy and I slightly enjoy it. 

Any advice please?

 

thanks .

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35 minutes ago, alex-online said:

I don't want to do them

You're not alone there Alex!  I guess that's the reason we have OCD though, because if we could resist them so easily then we would not have OCD I suppose. I guess what I am saying is, please don't beat yourself up for having urges to do compulsions and when you do them.

That said...

36 minutes ago, alex-online said:

I know doing my OCD compulsions won't change what's happened. But it keeps me busy and I slightly enjoy it. 

This is an interesting comment, I have not really ready anyone say they enjoy it before.  The question is do you really enjoy it or do you just think you enjoy it?  :)

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Guest alex-online
1 hour ago, Ashley said:

You're not alone there Alex!  I guess that's the reason we have OCD though, because if we could resist them so easily then we would not have OCD I suppose. I guess what I am saying is, please don't beat yourself up for having urges to do compulsions and when you do them.

That said...

This is an interesting comment, I have not really ready anyone say they enjoy it before.  The question is do you really enjoy it or do you just think you enjoy it?  :)

Thanks. I don't need to do my compulsions though, do I? It doesn't change anything? I just feel awful and doing the compulsions empties my mind of bad thoughts. How can I train my brain to clear my mind of throughts automatically? 

 

I enjoy it partly because I know I'm going to be a new person after it and I clean the flat etc. And it looks nice after I guess?

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And there's the heart of your OCD. You think you can become a new person by doing your compulsions. But you can't. You're exactly the same person after the compulsions as you were before. Nothing has changed.

You think you can wipe out mistakes and bad feelings by doing compulsions but deep down I think you know that's not true. The simple fact is, you have to keep doing your compulsions over and over. It doesn't stop. You think, if I just do it one more time than everything will be okay, but it isn't. OCD demands you do it over and over. It will keep demanding you do compulsions so long as you keep doing them.

You have to break the cycle. Sure you feel temporarily good after you do your compulsions but soon enough the thoughts and images bombard you and you have to do the compulsions again. And again.

Do you see that?

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Guest alex-online
41 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

And there's the heart of your OCD. You think you can become a new person by doing your compulsions. But you can't. You're exactly the same person after the compulsions as you were before. Nothing has changed.

You think you can wipe out mistakes and bad feelings by doing compulsions but deep down I think you know that's not true. The simple fact is, you have to keep doing your compulsions over and over. It doesn't stop. You think, if I just do it one more time than everything will be okay, but it isn't. OCD demands you do it over and over. It will keep demanding you do compulsions so long as you keep doing them.

You have to break the cycle. Sure you feel temporarily good after you do your compulsions but soon enough the thoughts and images bombard you and you have to do the compulsions again. And again.

Do you see that?

Thanks. That's true. I know nothing has changed, but it clears all my bad thoughts. Yeah I know it's not true, that's exactly how I feel.

I definitely see this. How do I stop myself doing them?

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It's not easy Alex but it is fairly simple. I think it might be too much to ask of you that you simply stop doing your compulsions. It can be terribly anxiety provoking to do do.

What I suggest is that you start to delay doing your compulsions. So when you really want to do a compulsion, tell yourself it's okay to delay it for a while. Even by ten or twenty minutes at first is great. That's a success. Then gradually, over time, you increase the delay time until you are waiting hours and even days to do your compulsions. What's been found is, if you delay your compulsions long enough, the urge to do them diminishes.

What do you think about that?

Edited by PolarBear
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Guest alex-online
17 hours ago, PolarBear said:

It's not easy Alex but it is fairly simple. I think it might be too much to ask of you that you simply stop doing your compulsions. It can be terribly anxiety provoking to do do.

What I suggest is that you start to delay doing your compulsions. So when you really want to do a compulsion, tell yourself it's okay to delay it for a while. Even by ten or twenty minutes at first is great. That's a success. Then gradually, over time, you increase the delay time until you are waiting hours and even days to do your compulsions. What's been found is, if you delay your compulsions long enough, the urge to do them diminishes.

What do you think about that?

Thank you, I have delayed it for 24 hours so far, max I've achieved.

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Guest alex-online
1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

That is awesome! Well done!

Thank you. I've also cut down some compulsions this time around. How do I get past the 24 hour mark? That's when I seem to get stuck.

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57 minutes ago, alex-online said:

How do I get past the 24 hour mark?

You do another 15 minutes.....and then another :)  Don't look in terms of 24 hours being a magical marker or a tricky point....it's just a minute on the clock.

Revel in the pride in yourself Alex, you've done well, be proud :hug:

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Guest alex-online
1 minute ago, Caramoole said:

You do another 15 minutes.....and then another :)  Don't look in terms of 24 hours being a magical marker or a tricky point....it's just a minute on the clock.

Revel in the pride in yourself Alex, you've done well, be proud :hug:

Thank you. I guess I need to time and try and make it longer.

Thank you again. Could you set me up and arcade account please? Thank you.

Who can I talk to when I'm really struggling and don't want to do my compulsions?

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Guest alex-online
1 hour ago, Caramoole said:

Can you let me know your last user name then I can delete it and set the new one up

It's been ages, and lots of usernames so I am unsure. Sorry! :( 

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2 hours ago, alex-online said:

Who can I talk to when I'm really struggling and don't want to do my compulsions?

You mentioned a crisis plan before, so maybe this is something you could discuss with whoever set up that plan so you know where your support sources are for next time. 

You can always post on the forum and ask for support, and in your post ask if anyone wants to chat in the chat room (or just pop in and see if anyone joins you) if you fancy that. 

Have a think about whether there's a family member or friend you could ask to be your support-buddy for times when you need a nudge to keep on resisting the compulsions.

And don't forget, you can always talk to yourself. Not as crazy as it sounds! YOU are a great resource which is available 24/7. That doesn't mean you have to deal with it alone, all I'm saying is don't discount how much strength you can get from giving yourself a pep-talk or a bit of self-encouragement. Build confidence in yourself and the need for others to validate you in not doing your compulsions will reduce.  :) 

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On Friday, September 23, 2016 at 18:16, PolarBear said:

if you delay your compulsions long enough, the urge to do them diminishes.

You say that if the compulsions urges diminishes.. does that count for the thoughts and responses?

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I'm not sure what you mean, GG.

Not doing compulsions or at least delaying them will initially cause anxiety spike but it does come down on its own. The urge to do the compulsions also diminishes.

Now taken a step further, if you're not doing compulsions, intrusive thoughts should start to bother you less and start showing up less frequently.

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On ‎23‎/‎09‎/‎2016 at 15:05, alex-online said:

I enjoy it partly because I know I'm going to be a new person after it and I clean the flat etc. And it looks nice after I guess?

I think I understand now.  I am guessing what you describe to be 'enjoying' is the relief and sense of freedom almost we all get when completeing a compulsion.  It's not freedom, it's just OCD lying to us that we have a bit of freedom for completing the compulsion.

Anyway, I am away until Thursday evening so I may not get chance to check back in, but perhaps before then you can formerly ask your CMHT for CBT for your OCD treatment. If they refuse again, ask them to confirm in writing why not and explain this will be passed on to your advocate at OCD-UK.  Let's get them to explain why they wont offer you CBT and we can look at that for you.

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Guest alex-online
19 hours ago, snowbear said:

You mentioned a crisis plan before, so maybe this is something you could discuss with whoever set up that plan so you know where your support sources are for next time. 

You can always post on the forum and ask for support, and in your post ask if anyone wants to chat in the chat room (or just pop in and see if anyone joins you) if you fancy that. 

Have a think about whether there's a family member or friend you could ask to be your support-buddy for times when you need a nudge to keep on resisting the compulsions.

And don't forget, you can always talk to yourself. Not as crazy as it sounds! YOU are a great resource which is available 24/7. That doesn't mean you have to deal with it alone, all I'm saying is don't discount how much strength you can get from giving yourself a pep-talk or a bit of self-encouragement. Build confidence in yourself and the need for others to validate you in not doing your compulsions will reduce.  :) 

I have discussed and they said it's just thoughts and I will be fine. When I start the DBT they said everything will be better.

Thank you.

I don't have anyone who will say that because the compulsions make me feel better so they say to do them to distract my mind.

Thanks, means a lot. :)

 

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Guest alex-online
1 hour ago, Ashley said:

I think I understand now.  I am guessing what you describe to be 'enjoying' is the relief and sense of freedom almost we all get when completeing a compulsion.  It's not freedom, it's just OCD lying to us that we have a bit of freedom for completing the compulsion.

Anyway, I am away until Thursday evening so I may not get chance to check back in, but perhaps before then you can formerly ask your CMHT for CBT for your OCD treatment. If they refuse again, ask them to confirm in writing why not and explain this will be passed on to your advocate at OCD-UK.  Let's get them to explain why they wont offer you CBT and we can look at that for you.

Thank you, I guess. I get quite manic.

Hope you have a nice time away. Thank you. I will send a letter to them, that means a lot. They will probably say because of the DBT.

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Guest alex-online

My CPN made a good point about cooking dinner as that will take up a lot of time, normally I just have ready meals. He said it will also be healthier to prepare the meals and cook them.

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