Difficulty forcing myself to do ERP

[pureosufferer]

I'm finding a massive hurdle in the way of recovery. That's the feeling that these intrusive thoughts and feelings are somehow enjoyable. It doesn't matter how disturbed I feel by them, I sometimes can't shake this feeling of enjoying them. This is terrible for me because not only does it mean I am finding it difficult not to ruminate and prove they're not enjoyable but I find it extremely difficult to do deliberate exposures.

 

Any advice?

[Poirot]

Been there.  Still does cause me anxiety from time to time.  I told my psychologist about it, and his response was basically that 'when you think you'll respond to a thought in a certain way, you will artificially create that response'.  It doesn't mean anything, it's just you "feeling" what you fear you're going to feel, precisely because you're fearing it.  If that makes sense.  

This can be a false sense of arousal, or excitement, or just 'happiness'.  I used to worry that I felt happy or excited by hearing about tragic world events on the news.  I experienced what felt physically real in this sense and it made me feel terrible every time.  

I also used to have obsessions along the lines of "what if I fell in love with so and so?"  and every time I saw them I'd get a real sensation like you do when you're around someone you like.  The more I worried about this happening the more it would happen.

As horrible as it feels you've just got to remind yourself that OCD can and does create physical sensations.  And they do feel real, you experience them as though they are real, but they mean nothing.  Keep going and push through.  trust me I know how hard it is but it will only ever get easier.  

[PolarBear]

A lot of this has to do with attitude. You are creating a feeling out of the fear that you'll have that feeling. But your attitude right now is one of fighting against it all. That's why you do compulsions. You're fighting OCD and it just doesn't work. Instead you can up and agree then change the subject. Something like. Yes well I guess I like the thoughts... I think I'll go bake some cookies.

The harder you try and fight OCD the more entrenched it will become.

 

[pureosufferer]

On ‎24‎/‎09‎/‎2016 at 08:39, PolarBear said:

A lot of this has to do with attitude. You are creating a feeling out of the fear that you'll have that feeling. But your attitude right now is one of fighting against it all. That's why you do compulsions. You're fighting OCD and it just doesn't work. Instead you can up and agree then change the subject. Something like. Yes well I guess I like the thoughts... I think I'll go bake some cookies.

The harder you try and fight OCD the more entrenched it will become.

 

Hi PolarBear,

I'm actually trying unbelievably hard to follow the therapist's advice and NOT fight the thoughts but with my particular obsession it is incredibly difficult to do when you're having a feeling of liking or enjoying the feeling. I feel constantly terrible and always try to do exactly what you've just said "Oh, well, just a thought, carry on with life" but it doesn't work. If I don't fight the feeling of enjoying the thought or feeling becomes overwhelming and makes it almost impossible not to perform other compulsions such as avoidance etc.

[PolarBear]

You have to keep doing it. Over and over. Not pushing back against the obsessions does not mean you like them or agree with them. Tell yourself that. And carry on just like you have been. 

[Guest tigerlady]

On 9/23/2016 at 16:52, Poirot said:

Been there.  Still does cause me anxiety from time to time.  I told my psychologist about it, and his response was basically that 'when you think you'll respond to a thought in a certain way, you will artificially create that response'.  It doesn't mean anything, it's just you "feeling" what you fear you're going to feel, precisely because you're fearing it.  If that makes sense.  

This can be a false sense of arousal, or excitement, or just 'happiness'.  I used to worry that I felt happy or excited by hearing about tragic world events on the news.  I experienced what felt physically real in this sense and it made me feel terrible every time.  

I also used to have obsessions along the lines of "what if I fell in love with so and so?"  and every time I saw them I'd get a real sensation like you do when you're around someone you like.  The more I worried about this happening the more it would happen.

As horrible as it feels you've just got to remind yourself that OCD can and does create physical sensations.  And they do feel real, you experience them as though they are real, but they mean nothing.  Keep going and push through.  trust me I know how hard it is but it will only ever get easier.  

This sounds like an experience I had yesterday. Thank you so much for this input!

[taurean]

Sure it can. 

OCD works from an underlying fear threat or revulsion, and may use a theme of turning one of our cherished, believed in or ethical, core values on its head - e g.sexuality, care, love. 

Our core belief in its suggestions leads to the bad emotions response and the "disorder". 

So, let's - outside of the emotional response to the issue and at a separate time - review our real core value, that we know it is true. My therapist got me to do this, and write it down and store it away - but we shouldn't need to review it, once we have done it. 

Now we can at the right time return to the core belief in the OCD intrusions.

If we see the intrusions as contrary to our true core values, we will recognise the intrusion as OCD. 

We must then tackle the core belief that is telling us the intrusions could be true. 

[taurean]

One comment re pure O's issue. 

If I was the disorder, trying to entrap my sufferer, I would send an error message down those normal neural pathways telling him he is actually enjoying the feelings... hehehe. 

This is how this disorder works. It isn't an entity in itself but it does seem to utilise very convincing falsehoods transmitted through normal channels. 

[taurean]

Yes that is so - I was able to do mine with my therapist - a private clinical psychologist herself a recoveree from my form of OCD - and to her go the laurels for this technique. 

[taurean]

Don't get sucked into keep checking, then doubting, that core value. 

Don't listen if OCD tries to get you to doubt the core value. This is key. 

[taurean]

14 minutes ago, ashipinharbor said:

Okay, thanks. I'll try that. And more OCD psych's should be ex-sufferers, they really, truly get it.

I'll try! I know who I am, and most of the time that's enough, but OCD is so tricky sometimes, that it's hard to ignore.

But ignore, and challenge. is what we all must do. 

[taurean]

All we have to do is turn most into more. 

Wish it was that simple. 

[Guest ashipinharbor]

On 12/8/2016 at 06:29, taurean said:

One comment re pure O's issue. 

If I was the disorder, trying to entrap my sufferer, I would send an error message down those normal neural pathways telling him he is actually enjoying the feelings... hehehe. 

This is how this disorder works. It isn't an entity in itself but it does seem to utilise very convincing falsehoods transmitted through normal channels. 

This helped a lot. Thank you so much Taurean.

[Guest ashipinharbor]

On 9/23/2016 at 16:52, Poirot said:

Been there.  Still does cause me anxiety from time to time.  I told my psychologist about it, and his response was basically that 'when you think you'll respond to a thought in a certain way, you will artificially create that response'.  It doesn't mean anything, it's just you "feeling" what you fear you're going to feel, precisely because you're fearing it.  If that makes sense.  

This can be a false sense of arousal, or excitement, or just 'happiness'.  I used to worry that I felt happy or excited by hearing about tragic world events on the news.  I experienced what felt physically real in this sense and it made me feel terrible every time.  

I also used to have obsessions along the lines of "what if I fell in love with so and so?"  and every time I saw them I'd get a real sensation like you do when you're around someone you like.  The more I worried about this happening the more it would happen.

As horrible as it feels you've just got to remind yourself that OCD can and does create physical sensations.  And they do feel real, you experience them as though they are real, but they mean nothing.  Keep going and push through.  trust me I know how hard it is but it will only ever get easier.  

This has helped me so many times. Thank you.

[Guest ashipinharbor]

On 9/23/2016 at 16:52, Poirot said:

Been there.  Still does cause me anxiety from time to time.  I told my psychologist about it, and his response was basically that 'when you think you'll respond to a thought in a certain way, you will artificially create that response'.  It doesn't mean anything, it's just you "feeling" what you fear you're going to feel, precisely because you're fearing it.  If that makes sense.  

This can be a false sense of arousal, or excitement, or just 'happiness'.  I used to worry that I felt happy or excited by hearing about tragic world events on the news.  I experienced what felt physically real in this sense and it made me feel terrible every time.  

I also used to have obsessions along the lines of "what if I fell in love with so and so?"  and every time I saw them I'd get a real sensation like you do when you're around someone you like.  The more I worried about this happening the more it would happen.

As horrible as it feels you've just got to remind yourself that OCD can and does create physical sensations.  And they do feel real, you experience them as though they are real, but they mean nothing.  Keep going and push through.  trust me I know how hard it is but it will only ever get easier.  

This response has helped me so many times. This is a good reply to a very common problem, and I'm glad I've found it.