Grieving a pet

[Jack Russell]

Hello, I have not posted in a long time. 

I have had chronic contamination ocd for many years.

Around two months ago my dog became unwell, we had numerous visits to the vets, various medications, and nothing could stop him getting worse, we are now on the verge of losing him, to say I'm devastated is an understatement, just non stop crying.

It's been hard, all the time my ocd is nagging at me about dog poo and touching the floor, but I have been ignoring it the best I can, my dog is priority and I do whatever it takes to make him comfortable. 

The amount of contaminants I have been exposed to the last week has been more than I ever have, and I'm dealing with it, because I have to, I'm not letting my dog down because of some silly irrational thoughts.

When faced with big life events, ocd for me has been pushed aside, even though it still nags at me, I just don't care about ocd right now.

My question is, does anyone else find similar has happened to them during hard times, and anyone who has lost a loving pet before, could you give me a few words of comfort to help me get through this.

Thanks.

 

[taurean]

The pain of losing a pet is eased by saying you have given them a wonderful life, and they have helped you. 

I find my OCD eases when other things are very important and I don't have time to brood. 

You should be helped by getting CBT to tackle the contamination theme. 

[bendylouise]

Sorry about yr lovely dog Jack. Yes ocd can be pushed aside when deep emotion takes over., i have experienced that. Be comforted by the fact that you gave him so much and vice versa. take care. and get some help.for ocd now and one day u should offer another dog a home.

[jimangie1973]

Very sorry you're losing your pet soon.  It's a really tough thing to go through.  OCD does tend to take a backseat when really rough life events occur.

[Caramoole]

1 hour ago, Jack Russell said:

anyone who has lost a loving pet before, could you give me a few words of comfort to help me get through this.

You can a will get through it but not without anxiety and sorrow, sadly it's the price we pay for having such a loving and much loved pet.  It can't be escaped, you hurt and are distressed because you love him......but you'll  do it, you'll weep and you will recover.  Jack will never be gone either, these pets, memories, their very existence are indelibly marked in our life....and as the sorrow recedes you'll always remember him with joy.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, been there and felt my heart would break, it didn't it was shaken and bruised for a while but coped and have gone on to love other dogs for themselves.  Hugs for you and Jack

[taurean]

I have coped well re my cats and humans by considering they are baton-holders in the relay of life. 

When they pass on that baton is surrendered and cherished until the next pet arrives to take it. 

My grandmother said our bodies are simply coats that we require to be present on the earth, and when we pass away we no longer need the coat. 

My uncle found solace when his dog was dying by playing the very moving "Fauré's Requiem". It is a good way to honour a pet or human. 

[Jack Russell]

Thanks for your replies, it's just nice to hear from others who understand the pain, even though nothing can take it away. He had a great life and we are immensely proud of that.

As for getting another dog, right now I just cant, and I doubt I ever will, I have been through this heartbreak several times, with cats too, and I just can't do it again.

[taurean]

I know my wife wants another cat, but she can't stand taking it to the vet - and I am getting a bit too old for it I reckon. 

But neighbours' cats visit and they don't have to be fed or be taken to the vet by us! 

[Lynz]

I understand completely what you're going through. A few months ago I lost my beloved dog of 16 years who'd been my best friend and constant companion since I was 11 years old. He was really old for a dog and he'd lived a full and happy life with us, but when the end came it was still horrible. The pain of losing him was unbearable and I think I spent about a week on-and-off just crying. Even now I find myself expecting him to come in from the kitchen and things like that without realising, and then I remember and it just pains me.

However the pain does get easier. I get nowhere near as upset as I did at first, hardly at all in fact. I miss him terribly still but what helps is talking about all of the fun times we had with him, and remembering how great he was.

We got him cremated and his ashes are in a box on the mantelpiece. I'm saving up at the moment to have some of his ashes made into jewellery from Ashes Into Glass. They're expensive but so worth it as they provide a great comfort.

[PolarBear]

Beyond your losing a pet, Jack, there is a lesson here about your OCD. As you said, you are focused on the wellbeing of your pet tight now, so OCD takes second fiddle. It took a tragedy to show you, but do you see that recovering from OCD is all about ignoring the thoughts? When you get past this, and you will, find that same determination and focus on the rest of your life and not on OCD. You are living proof, right now, that you can choose not to pay attention to the thoughts.