So the urge lessens as time goes by, right?

[Ryukil]

I tried really hard yesterday to not give into a compulsion, but could only last an hour. I guess it would help me to remind myself that the urge won't always be so strong, and it will start to lessen as time goes by...just something to help me get through the pain. I want to try again to resist.

Edited September 27, 2016 by Ryukil

[paradoxer]

Yes, delaying is a good step in the right direction.  

[Guest alex-online]

1 hour ago, Ryukil said:

I tried really hard yesterday to not give into a compulsion, but could only last an hour. I guess it would help me to remind myself that the urge won't always be so strong, and it will start to lessen as time goes by...just something to help me get through the pain. I want to try again to resist.

As the other poster said, this is definitely a good step! Next time try and add on 5 minutes or as long as possible to try and move forwards. Make sure you recognise how hard it is and how well you are doing by rewarding yourself.  

[Ryukil]

Actually, I wasn't trying to delay it. I was trying to just push through it. It involves a decision. So I made the decision and said, "I'm going to stick with this approach for at least a few months no matter what". But immediately the doubt comes in, "What if I've made the wrong decision?" etc. and so I had to basically reverse my decision and go back to obsessing and trying to figure out which decision is the correct one. In this case, me trying to reassure myself that I've made the right decision through endless obsessing on the Internet and researching is the compulsion.

[Guest alex-online]

5 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

Actually, I wasn't trying to delay it. I was trying to just push through it. It involves a decision. So I made the decision and said, "I'm going to stick with this approach for at least a few months no matter what". But immediately the doubt comes in, "What if I've made the wrong decision?" etc. and so I had to basically reverse my decision and go back to obsessing and trying to figure out which decision is the correct one. In this case, me trying to reassure myself that I've made the right decision through endless obsessing on the Internet and researching is the compulsion.

But delaying it is your answer. ERP, exposure response prevention. You need to keep making it longer and longer, the time period you don't do the compulsions. The right decision is to delay it all and keep delaying and not go on the internet, or give yourself a period of 30 minutes to research and then cut it down and down. Make it manageable for you to begin with and then keep working at it. Good luck.  

[Ryukil]

I guess I'm a perfectionist. I feel I have to make the decision and stick with it. Otherwise I won't see the results I'm looking for. This is ERP, I just would rather make the decision and stick with it rather than delaying then going back to obsessing then delaying again. I'd rather just make the decision, stop compulsing, and see if its the right one over time.

[Guest alex-online]

4 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

I guess I'm a perfectionist. I feel I have to make the decision and stick with it. Otherwise I won't see the results I'm looking for. This is ERP, I just would rather make the decision and stick with it rather than delaying then going back to obsessing then delaying again. I'd rather just make the decision, stop compulsing, and see if its the right one over time.

I'm a perfectionist too and I know how hard it is. You can do that and if you do, great. But I'm worried you might slip up and then give up all together. We wouldn't have OCD if we could make a decision and stick with it and stop compulsions? Good luck to you though if you can.  

[Ryukil]

It's just this particular obsession with making a decision. I'd rather stick with it and no go back so that I can see if the decision works or not.

[Guest alex-online]

6 minutes ago, Ryukil said:

It's just this particular obsession with making a decision. I'd rather stick with it and no go back so that I can see if the decision works or not.

Okay, I hope it works. If not then it's back to the drawing board I guess.

[PolarBear]

Ryukil, you are stuck trying to decide which of two therapies is right for you in combating your OCD. One of them you have been stuck on for a very long time. You posted about it numerous times here.

What if both are not right and you should be looking at a third alternative? The fact is, you're not going to recover if you're stuck on the method of recovery. You've been stuck trying to choose for some time and you'll remain stuck because you're doing compulsions around it. It isn't the choosing that's the problem. It's that OCD is interfering either your choice and you feed it by doing compulsions.

[Guest alex-online]

1 minute ago, PolarBear said:

Ryukil, you are stuck trying to decide which of two therapies is right for you in combating your OCD. One of them you have been stuck on for a very long time. You posted about it numerous times here.

What if both are not right and you should be looking at a third alternative? The fact is, you're not going to recover if you're stuck on the method of recovery. You've been stuck trying to choose for some time and you'll remain stuck because you're doing compulsions around it. It isn't the choosing that's the problem. It's that OCD is interfering either your choice and you feed it by doing compulsions.

Ah ok, I understand now what's happening. My advice would be to stop looking at it all in so much detail and just continue day to day trying to resist yourself doing the compulsions and ERP. I don't know if that's helpful for the original poster?

[kaheath80]

I worry about this. Lately my food issues have got worse, and if I eat anything bad or even just anything big I will have to do sit-ups as I am terrified about getting fat. But the longer I delay doing them the worse and more anxious I feel. Does this mean it's not OCD?

[PolarBear]

Nope. Anxiety can hang around for a surprising length of time. It's best while you are delaying or stopping compulsions that you keep yourself occupied doing something else.

[Ryukil]

PolarBear, I appreciate your help. It's about a treatment for my feelings of generalized anxiety though, not OCD. The obsession is about which approach will help my GAD. I think the thing to do is just try something and see what happens. Doesn't that make sense? I don't want to make this any more complicated than it needs to be.

[PolarBear]

But you've already made it complicated. You've been circling around which of two techniques you are going to do for months now. You just keep circling and circling without coming up with a solution.

I will also point out that you may be looking to find a fix for GAD but OCD is at play here. OCD is what is keeping you from moving forward. That is evident by the amount of time you are spending on compulsions, analyzing your two options and thinking and thinking, trying to come up with a solution.

More thinking about this is not going to fix the problem. As far as I'm concerned, you have to deal with your OCD first, which is blocking you from moving forward.

[Ryukil]

Yes, I agree OCD is what's keeping me from moving forward. Wouldn't you agree that, if the obsession is worrying about making a decision, the way to do exposure would be to make a decision and just stick with it for a while? Then to not go back and try to figure out if it's the right one or not? That's the only way I can see of exposing myself and moving forward.

[PolarBear]

I don't think OCD is going to allow you to make a decision, or at the least stick with it for any length of time. You've said for some time now that you think the way forward is to just make a decision and stick with it, but you haven't done so. You haven't taken that next step. No, you're stuck ruminating over it. If this is just a matter of having to make a decision, why don't you just make the decision?

I don't think it's going to be that easy. You need to identify the compulsions you are doing and work hard to stop them. I'm betting you spend an inordinate amount of time researching the way foward with GAD, comparing different models and ruminating over them. That's what you need to work on stopping.

Now, if you could just make a decision and get it over with, well that would be great. But I don't think you're going to be able to, at least not easily. OCD won't let you until you give up the compulsions that are keeping you stuck.

[Ryukil]

Well, one of the options is to stop researching anxiety and stop trying to figure it out. So one of the options would be to stop my compulsions. So stopping my compulsions would in effect be making a decision about how to proceed.

And yeah, it won't be easy, but I know it's possible. I just have to do it.

The only way out is to make a decision. I mean...what are my compulsions?

Edited September 27, 2016 by Ryukil

[PolarBear]

So when are you going to do it?

[Ryukil]

Soon.

But what do you think I should do? What's the alternative to making a decision and sticking with it?

[PolarBear]

Soon? How soon is soon?

Look, I'm focusing on your OCD. You are clearly stuck because of OCD. The way forward, the only way forward, is to slow down and stop your compulsions. As my signature states, no one ever fully recovered from OCD while continuing to do compulsions. Stopping compulsions is a prerequisite for recovering. So you have to put an end to your compulsions. You have no choice, unless you consider staying stuck a choice. So the answer to your question, What's the alternative to making a decision and sticking with it, is... remain stuck where you are.

[Ryukil]

So I'm not wrong to think making a decision and sticking with it is the only way?

[PolarBear]

What I'm trying to tell you is there really is no decision to make. I take it you don't want to remain stuck where you are. Am I right in assuming that? If so then the way forward for you is to deal effectively with your OCD and that means slowing down and stopping your compulsions.

You are stuck. You are stuck because of OCD. Treat the OCD. Proper treatment includes stopping compulsions.

[Ryukil]

and my compulsions would be...researching constantly and trying to figure out what the right decision is, yeah? Like I spend all my time on anxiety forums reading posts, figuring out how other people recovered, etc... so I should stop?

[PolarBear]

Yes. Stop trying to figure out how to recover and put into practice the known basics. If you don't stop your compulsions you're going to remain stuck.