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When do exposures come to an end for someone working to beat their OCD?


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Everything you just wrote is a compulsion. It's ruminating on the same topic you've been stuck on for ages. 

NONE OF IT MATTERS. 

None of what you're ruminating about is of the slightest importance whatsoever. So maybe you did a compulsion, so what? What's important is to STOP thinking about it instead of doing ever more compulsive thinking on what compulsions you did or didn't do. 

LET IT GO. Find something else to occupy your thoughts. Learn a new skill, take up a new hobby. Study Chinese. Go for a walk. Enjoy an evening out with friends. Cook yourself a meal from basic ingredients. Do something fun, silly, or ridiculous that makes you laugh. Get your mind onto some other topic. 

When the compulsive thoughts recur, distract yourself again. Keep busy. Distract yourself again. And again. 

Refuse to get drawn into the ruminations passing through your head. Let them pass through without engaging with them. They are nonsense chitter-chatter. Treat them as such. Refocus your attention elsewhere. 

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Its like I think having a preference for what I want immediately means OCD. So what if I prefer 60hz over 50hz because it works better/looks better/is the ideal setting, etc.? So what? Well, the so what has a lot to say. And it gets critical throwing voices at me like, "can't have a preference. thats a compulsion." You are right Snowbear, its all ruminating and its all a compulsion to get my therapy right. This doesn't have to do with the TV anymore. Its about not messing up. Funny how the tables have turned (actually not funny, mostly torture) onto my OCD now being about my OCD. Its like I'm watching every move to make sure I'm not doing a compulsion in order to get my treatment right, that I'm actually not getting anywhere. This is just OCD. And what's worse, is that it doesn't want to allow me to move on from what therapists have said is or isn't a compulsion. I'm losing free will to live my life and have things the way I want. That is the scariest and most agonizing feeling.

I just noticed tonight that if I set my streaming device (the one that works on 50hz) to 50hz, the picture speeds up. Its nothing that isn't watchable, but I actually prefer it on 60hz because it has more of a natural picture speed, and 60hz is ideal for North American televisions. But my reasoning behind it being a compulsion is because I like the way 60Hz looks more natural and I feel like somehow my preferring 60hz over 50hz for the reason of it being a clearer picture is a compulsion. But, am I allowed preferences without them being compulsions, and when do preferences become OCD? 

I have this faulty thinking (i think) where if i have a preference to a setting, etc. because of WHATEVER REASON, then i'm participating in OCD.

Edited by saddaniels
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I guess what I'm asking is...is it okay for someone with OCD to still have preferences when it comes to arranging things/wanting things to be a desired way. To be okay knowing something catastrophic wouldn't happen is something WERE out of place, but to have a desire for things to be a way you want them to be. Is that okay?

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Yes you can have preferences.  It's only a problem when you can't accept your preferences and need to be sure they're "right".  It's also good to correct your cognative distortions, so yes it's fine to know nothing catastrophic will happen if things aren't perfect in your mind.

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This isn't a preference. In North America you watch TV at 60hz. End of story. There is no compulsion present. It's just the way it is.

You keep coming back here, writing down ruminations. We keep telling you to work hard to stop doing that. Your problem right now is your ruminating, not the setting on your TV.

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10 hours ago, saddaniels said:

I guess what I'm asking is...is it okay for someone with OCD to still have preferences when it comes to arranging things/wanting things to be a desired way. To be okay knowing something catastrophic wouldn't happen is something WERE out of place, but to have a desire for things to be a way you want them to be. Is that okay?

Everybody is allowed preferences whether they have OCD or not. The key word is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder . If achieving your preference creates distress or causes difficulty functioning normally then it's probably a compulsion rather than a preference. 

If something is a preference, then it means you would prefer things to be that way, but you don't feel an overwhelming need to see that things are done that way. 

If it's impractical or impossible then a preference is shrugged off - 'oh well, not important, I just prefer things my way if it's not a problem to have it so.' :) There's no uncomfortable feelings, no urge to think about it further, no problem to solve. If somebody walked in and rearranged things you'd be as likely to laugh or just be puzzled as you would to be angry or fearful. 

If it's a compulsion then whether it's impractical, impossible, downright problematic or sheer torture to achieve it - you'll still want things to be the way you think they ought to be, and you'll either struggle to get them that way or feel uncomfortable because they aren't the way you want. Anger and fear are par for the course. 

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I definitely feel anger and fear (mostly fear) right now leaving my TV on 60hz instead of 50hz. There are a couple reasons I am leaving it on 60hz. #1 it's the most practical option because most TVs run on 60hz. #2 60hz is my preference over 50hz because 50hz setting gives the picture an unnatural look. Now, I would be fine leaving it at 60hz and walking away, but I guess, and correct me if I'm wrong, but this compulsion comes in where I begin to think "Oh no! I don't just want to use 60hz because it's the most practical, but because, I actually like the picture better this way even though there isn't a HUGE difference." Oh no, I'm needing to choose one over the other and I think one if my reasons is because I like 60hz better. I get fearful, I panic because of this. I must be doing the therapy wrong I tell myself. And it just continues. I try to change my mindset around, but i can't do it, because I've already admitted to myself I like the 60hz setting better than 50hz based on the way the picture looks, even if there is a small difference in picture :(. This is where I feel fear, doom, and gloom. I would leave the TV at 60Hz and let it be, but something doesn't feel just right, and that thing that doesn't feel just right is my fearful thinking that I'm cheating the therapy by somehow liking 60hz over 50hz. 

Edited by saddaniels
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Would it help to know that every post you write now I scan it for relevant content and skim over every mention of Hz, frequency, TV etc. ?

STOP ruminating on the TV frequency! It doesn't matter a jot. 

You're breaking what therapy suggests by keeping on ruminating about what would or wouldn't be breaking therapy. 

Get out of your head for a bit and do something practical. Hard physical exercise is good - make yourself out of breath. Get your heart hammering from exertion instead of from stressful thinking. Then do something relaxing and enjoyable that takes you to a good mental place. Refuse to give the obsessive thoughts any more of your time or attention. 

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2 hours ago, saddaniels said:

I definitely feel anger and fear (mostly fear) right now leaving my TV on 60hz instead of 50hz. There are a couple reasons I am leaving it on 60hz. #1 it's the most practical option because most TVs run on 60hz. #2 60hz is my preference over 50hz because 50hz setting gives the picture an unnatural look. Now, I would be fine leaving it at 60hz and walking away, but I guess, and correct me if I'm wrong, but this compulsion comes in where I begin to think "Oh no! I don't just want to use 60hz because it's the most practical, but because, I actually like the picture better this way even though there isn't a HUGE difference." Oh no, I'm needing to choose one over the other and I think one if my reasons is because I like 60hz better. I get fearful, I panic because of this. I must be doing the therapy wrong I tell myself. And it just continues. I try to change my mindset around, but i can't do it, because I've already admitted to myself I like the 60hz setting better than 50hz based on the way the picture looks, even if there is a small difference in picture :(. This is where I feel fear, doom, and gloom. I would leave the TV at 60Hz and let it be, but something doesn't feel just right, and that thing that doesn't feel just right is my fearful thinking that I'm cheating the therapy by somehow liking 60hz over 50hz. 

This whole post is one long rumination. Can you see that? This is what needs to stop.

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Yes, I'm aware that I've been ruminating. But even if I stop, I'm still keeping my TV set to 60hz because I like the way it looks better AND because its more practical to have it on that setting here in the US. Thats still a compulsion. I'm lost. I guess there is no need to comment anymore because I'm not getting anywhere. I'm not sure what to do, nothing? Could it be that simple? Can I risk the fact I may be performing compulsions? The answer is no right now, hence my ruminating. I've been told that no compulsions help you get better, so until I'm sure that I'm not performing a compulsion, I don't know how to get better. BUT, I am aware I'm doing compulsions by ruminating as well. So, it just doesn't feel, right now, that there is an escape. 

Edited by saddaniels
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1 hour ago, saddaniels said:

I'm not sure what to do, nothing? Could it be that simple?

Yes, it really is that simple. Do nothing. :) 

1 hour ago, saddaniels said:

Can I risk the fact I may be performing compulsions? The answer is no right now, hence my ruminating.

The reason you feel there's no escape right now is you're seeking absolute certainty. But living with uncertainty is part of life. The more we do it the more comfortable and at ease we feel about being uncertain. The harder we resist it, the more uncomfortable we are, until even the tiniest risk seems disproportionately scary and not worth taking. :( 

Compulsions don't get rid of the uncomfortable feeling, instead they maintain it. The more you do compulsions the longer the feeling lasts. The discomfort may even get stronger the more you ruminate because doing compulsions feeds it and makes it grow.

If you feel you can't risk uncertainty right now that's fine. Just resign yourself to the fact there'll be no escape until you're ready to change your behaviour. 

When you're ready to accept there is no such thing as absolute certainty and that seeking it is pointless, then you'll find it easier to resist the compulsions. The discomfort may increase slightly in the short term, but it will soon reduce and disappear, leaving you free to get on with your life. :) 

It's a choice. We all have to face that choice eventually - carry on desiring certainty and doing compulsions, or accept some uncertainty and start doing something more enjoyable instead of worrying. 

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1 hour ago, saddaniels said:

Yes, I'm aware that I've been ruminating. But even if I stop, I'm still keeping my TV set to 60hz because I like the way it looks better AND because its more practical to have it on that setting here in the US. Thats still a compulsion.

No, it`s not. You`ve got things all screwed up. Leaving your TV on its natural setting is NOT a compulsion. I don't know where you get this stuff from.

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If I had to say off the top of my head, it would be too much ERP therapy over CBT therapy. My treatment did not teach me that I was allowed to have things the way I wanted them, as long as it didn't get out of hand. It was all focused on how to make myself more anxious when I felt good/at ease.

ERP made me feel like a robot. Constantly having to keep in check my compulsions, to write them down when I performed one, etc. And maybe the therapists meant well (i was in a residential treatment center), but they created quite a stiff environment and honestly, the therapy was focused primarily on not doing compulsions and continually doing exposures. Cognitive work was maybe 10% of my therapy. The other 90% ERP.

Edited by saddaniels
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And now I feel like if I want things a particular way, if I'm OKAY with having things a particular way, if I have the slightest preference for how I'd like things to be, I can't just move on because I'm engaging in some ritualistic behavior by making a decision on how i want something to be.

Edited by saddaniels
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A feeling of rightness is NOT okay. so i always feel i'm doing a compulsion when i get any feeling that something feels right.  So when I feel that watching TV on 60hz is right for me, I go panicky because rightness is considered a compulsion. And I was taught in therapy, when you feel a sense of rightness, to make things just good enough. So that's the mindset I have going into being okay with 60Hz as my setting. I like that setting and its the recommended setting. Its basically right for me...DING DING DING...can't be right, that's trying to achieve perfection. BAD.  trying to be right is compulsion..so i ruminate and it goes over and over and over again in my mind. 

Just trying to explain how my mindset is functioning right now.

Edited by saddaniels
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13 hours ago, saddaniels said:

A feeling of rightness is NOT okay.

This may be your interpretaction of what you were told in therapy but you are being far too literal. By that statement then everything in your life needs to feel wrong in order for you to recover from OCD. That's crazy.

You're allowed to make judgments and have preferences. It's called being human. 

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All this time I keep thinking to myself "Do I need the TV to be on 60Hz? Oh my gosh, what if I am in need of this." ?  Then I try to think about do I really need these settings to be a certain way? Maybe, yes. Am I leading toward needing to keep something on one setting because I like it OR am I needing to keep it on one setting in order to move on with my life? Maybe both. And I freak out. My mind goes crazy because I was taught in therapy that if you feel that you need something to be a certain way, change it up. This led to my faulty thinking that I need to purposefully switch the settings up (although, my mind still, kind of, believes that's the correct thinking). 

My fear, in the quickest nutshell that I can turn it into, is that I fear I need my TV to be on 60Hz. And because I feel I need that, then my thinking is wrong and I need to do everything I can to change that thinking, which leads to the ongoing rumination. Should I set my TV to the opposite setting because I feel I need this setting? Am I needing something too much? Am I too comfortable? Do I believe I can't have this setting another way? Is this a compulsion? How do I fix this?

Needing something to be a certain way is BAD (needing the TV to stay at 60hz is bad). I can't seem to find another perspective on this in order to get on with my life right now :( 

If I may need something, that is entirely unacceptable to myself and the therapy I was taught and then I beat myself up over it with exhausting rumination.

Edited by saddaniels
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You're getting yourself all worked up by ruminating. You just keep going over this in your head and it's getting you more and more stuck.

I fear you did not understand what was said in therapy and now you are trying to apply faulty rules to your life. This is not going to end well unless you can reign in your ruminating.

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I thank you all for trying to get me to see different perspectives, but since I'm afraid I have this need for things to be a certain way, by liking 60hz frequency because its the most practical setting and because i do prefer it over 50hz, because i really do want it to be at 60hz), I need to switch things around psychically. The thinking may be flawed, but it feels so real. I'd love nothing more than to throw it all down and forget about it, but I can't risk that I may be needing something to be a certain way. Its too fearful for me. I am needing something to be a certain way, I need to figure out how to change things around.

Sorry. I'm so sorry. All of your advice seems practical, but I've been so tricked by the thoughts, I don't know where to go anymore.

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Thete is a way out of this but you've got to listen to the advice being offered. You've got to try and understand what is being said here.

It doesn't matter what you want or need. Your TV is set up to be watched a certain way. That's it. End of story. So you watch it the way it was designed and you work hard to stop your ruminating.

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It seems so backwards, but should my "exposure" be trying to change my behavior by saying "So what, maybe I really do need it this way, time to move on.? It would make sense, but also, therapy tells you that you shouldn't need things a certain way, and UGH the "conflict" of going against therapy arises again.

Going to try my hardest today to stop ruminating and maybe grab lunch with some friends.

Edited by saddaniels
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