Please Help Me Find a Way Out

[Guest Mvpmb17]

I suffered from OCD twice in the past and I know embracing your fears is always the best policy

 

A year ago I had a very toxic relationship with a girl who reminded me of my mother(who I had a really really *Removed Content * relationship with) .  Essentially it was a practical expression of childhood issues 

Now My Brain in its all mighty enlightment realised this and I started to compulsively "Block" this person.  It started off as an innocent logical thing to do, but I just did it 1000000000000000000000x times and before I knew it I had voices in my head talking to me and obsessive rumination 

Now, this "ritual" is a logical thing to do, this girl Hates me and more likely than not whats to try and get me Beaten up or some ****

I need to give up my rituals,  process my thoughts and trust my self to make the right choices if she does ever contact me again to keep me out of harms way

Unfortunatly, My OCD is clinging onto life and trying to suffocate my life(24 hour non stop questioning)

This just Feels Ridiciulous, but I cant change what my head does, I just feel like I need some guidance to keep me on track.  

[snowbear]

Hi Mvpmb17 and welcome to the forum.  

4 hours ago, Mvpmb17 said:

I need to give up my rituals,  process my thoughts and trust my self to make the right choices if she does ever contact me again to keep me out of harms way

This just Feels Ridiciulous, but I cant change what my head does

The good news is we can change what our heads are doing. In fact learning to do just that is what therapy is all about!

You say you've been through two previous episodes of OCD, so did you have therapy? Can you recall any of the techniques you learned alongside the need to embrace your fears? Such as recognising the thoughts are just thoughts and ignoring them, refusing to engage with the thoughts and finding things to do which occupy your mind and give you an alternative topic to think about. etc.

You seem to have a good idea of what your compulsions are, so it's just a matter of not giving in to the ruminations and keep doing that until they ease. If you're finding it tough, take regular breaks to do things you enjoy. Boost your confidence that you're on the right track and just need to keep going, to keep resisting the compulsions. 

[Guest Mvpmb17]

11 hours ago, snowbear said:

Hi Mvpmb17 and welcome to the forum.  

The good news is we can change what our heads are doing. In fact learning to do just that is what therapy is all about!

You say you've been through two previous episodes of OCD, so did you have therapy? Can you recall any of the techniques you learned alongside the need to embrace your fears? Such as recognising the thoughts are just thoughts and ignoring them, refusing to engage with the thoughts and finding things to do which occupy your mind and give you an alternative topic to think about. etc.

You seem to have a good idea of what your compulsions are, so it's just a matter of not giving in to the ruminations and keep doing that until they ease. If you're finding it tough, take regular breaks to do things you enjoy. Boost your confidence that you're on the right track and just need to keep going, to keep resisting the compulsions. 

In my last two episodes it was simply accepting my fear and exposing my self to it

 

For example, I had an OCD about avoiding drugs and my rituals where centered around avoiding blokcing certain people and certain places

My exposing my self to drugs and these people.enviroments(and not using them of course :)) i got over my phobia

 

The problem with my latest fear is it just feels like my ritual is such a rational response to my problem and theOCD uses that against me 

[snowbear]

2 hours ago, Mvpmb17 said:

The problem with my latest fear is it just feels like my ritual is such a rational response to my problem and theOCD uses that against me 

Oh yes, OCD is the ultimate conman, can convince us what we're thinking or doing is logical, reasonable, even helpful.  

But however logical they feel at the time, compulsive rituals are always unhelpful.

As you said, it comes down to trusting yourself. You know the ritual isn't a good idea and that doing rituals can't protect us from harm or influence what other people do, so stick with that logic and fight any OCD thinking that says doing a ritual will influence the outcome. It won't. 

 

[Guest Mvpmb17]

1 hour ago, snowbear said:

Oh yes, OCD is the ultimate conman, can convince us what we're thinking or doing is logical, reasonable, even helpful.  

But however logical they feel at the time, compulsive rituals are always unhelpful.

As you said, it comes down to trusting yourself. You know the ritual isn't a good idea and that doing rituals can't protect us from harm or influence what other people do, so stick with that logic and fight any OCD thinking that says doing a ritual will influence the outcome. It won't. 

 

Yes! thats exactly what im trying to do

Unforutnately Im trapped with a bit of what i call "neutralisaiton OCD" where I have to fight the urge to perform my ritual and its exhausting.  My new strategy is to focus on whats bothering me outside of the context of my ritual, but even that can be a tad irritating. 

Its cheesy but I feel like this really is all about trusting yourself

 

OCD is based on the very things you would never allow to happen to yourself.  Its like being allergic to nuts and becoming paranoid you might eat nuts.  
I Have to GIVE IN TO SANITY