Fighting the urge to look up morbid things

[chaosed]

 

7 hours ago, efes said:

The obsession is making me want to do this, and I look up morbid things to release the obsession.

Your obsession is there yes, but in doing compulsions you reinforce it and you make it stronger. And the obsession grows and grows. If that's what you want, continue to do compulsions. If you want to get over this obsession, then stop doing compulsions and tackle your fears afterwards, with CBT, and if that isn't acessible to you, then with nonjudgemental awareness or mindfulness. There are many things you can do to accept your fears and focus on what truly matters, if CBT is not yet in your reach.

[PolarBear]

But what is the obsession? What intrusive thoughts are you getting?

[efes]

On 5/14/2017 at 03:10, chaosed said:

 

Your obsession is there yes, but in doing compulsions you reinforce it and you make it stronger. And the obsession grows and grows. If that's what you want, continue to do compulsions. If you want to get over this obsession, then stop doing compulsions and tackle your fears afterwards, with CBT, and if that isn't acessible to you, then with nonjudgemental awareness or mindfulness. There are many things you can do to accept your fears and focus on what truly matters, if CBT is not yet in your reach.

Yeah, I try to, but whether or not I succeed, it depends. 

[chaosed]

59 minutes ago, efes said:

Yeah, I try to, but whether or not I succeed, it depends. 

try, don't get discourgaed if you don't get it once, or twice, or ten times, you will fail, but you lost a battle, not the war. delay delay and reduce

Edited May 16, 2017 by chaosed

[efes]

This is really tempting to do when there are tragedies in the news. 

[efes]

I'm trying to not do this again. (Yes, I know that I should just ignore my thoughts, I just have to blow off steam by saying it.)

[efes]

BTW, the compulsion to look things up: also applies to non-morbid things. 

[efes]

On 6/2/2017 at 22:39, efes said:

BTW, the compulsion to look things up: also applies to non-morbid things. 

Like, I often get the urge to look for things that are quite innocuous, but it's the compulsion surrounding it that's not. 

[efes]

On 6/1/2017 at 14:42, efes said:

I'm trying to not do this again. (Yes, I know that I should just ignore my thoughts, I just have to blow off steam by saying it.)

Same again.

[efes]

Same again. (I technically know what to do, it's just that merely saying that I want to do this is a release.)

[efes]

On 5/14/2017 at 18:10, chaosed said:

 

Your obsession is there yes, but in doing compulsions you reinforce it and you make it stronger. And the obsession grows and grows. If that's what you want, continue to do compulsions. If you want to get over this obsession, then stop doing compulsions and tackle your fears afterwards, with CBT, and if that isn't acessible to you, then with nonjudgemental awareness or mindfulness. There are many things you can do to accept your fears and focus on what truly matters, if CBT is not yet in your reach.

Yeah, I wanna do this again, but I'm trying to not look up what that thing it is I wanna look up. 

[Tulsas]

I use to have these compulsions....I got a video years ago on executions....looking back  I'd never dream of it now......but I've had so many many compulsions once one goes the next one comes along...so I've learnt to let the 2nd compulsion go like the 1st one....then let the 3rd one go like the 2nd one and so forth....

[efes]

Trying not to do this now.

[Rucker]

The internet is an issue because it allows such easy assess to information 24/7.  You only have to walk down the street, sit on a bus etc to see huge numbers of people buried in google or something else when they are bored.  The other issue is that it allows things to escalate too easily.  You can look at one topic then with a click on a link you can look  at it more extreme.

Humans are curious. That's how we progress and develop through exploration.  But such access to information as we have today to satisfy curiosity is unprecedented in human history and that in itself can be a problem for people who don't have OCD.

Humans have always held a fascination with death. I did some reading on the 1996 Everest disaster.  It's fascinating seeing how people react pushed to their limits. Googleing inevitbly led to pictures of corpses on Everest.  If I had OCD over this It would be an issue.  Instead I thought 'these aren't nice why am i reading about this stuff' but it is interesting to read their stories and what people do.

Not all darker topics mean there is a problem and curiosity isn't necessarily bad. As you said the compulsion applies to non-morbit things so it sounds like you would benefit from less time on the internet generally if things escalate through boredom rather then all thoughts being indicative of some flaw. And I think most people would benefit from less online time OCD or not.

 

[Rucker]

An I include myself in reducing online time... I google far too much.  I got rid of my smartphone and got a standard non-smart phone.  Best move I ever made.  I google on my laptop so I'm not stopping myself going online. 

Benefits:  Indestructible phone, £4.95 per month cost, not tied into a contract, battery life lasts forever and I don't google on the go or as much generally and pay attention to the world around me.

I don't miss it one bit.  It was bordom and simply because I could search for interesting things and not because I had OCD about looking stuff up...more of a habit.

Try giving up the internet for a while, remove your access and see if it is OCD compulsions to look that stuff up or if it is boredom, habit and easy access to do so.

[efes]

On 9/2/2017 at 19:24, efes said:

Trying not to do this now.

Same again. 

[efes]

Same again. (Sorry, this has become a bit of a diary for me, and a way to prevent myself from actually searching morbid things.)

[PolarBear]

You're using the forum in a compulsive way. We get that this is an ongoing problem. You don't have to tell us 'same again.'

Get yourself busy doing other things.

[efes]

Sorry, it's just that merely mentioning I have a problem with this kinda thing is a release, like what I'm doing right now.

[ashipinharbor]

If it's still bothering you, eleven months later, you really need to go see a therapist. You don't have to suffer like this.

PolarBear's right, this is a compulsion. A band-aid/quick fix, that's only keeping you stuck. It's not helping. You say it does, but here you are, a year later, still doing it.

Please, go get help. 

[efes]

It's a seven-year obsession. 

[efes]

On 9/19/2017 at 23:40, ashipinharbor said:

If it's still bothering you, eleven months later, you really need to go see a therapist. You don't have to suffer like this.

PolarBear's right, this is a compulsion. A band-aid/quick fix, that's only keeping you stuck. It's not helping. You say it does, but here you are, a year later, still doing it.

Please, go get help. 

I'm not doing it right now because I have no opportunities, but seriously, I have fear about that kinda thing because of some bad experiences. I just don't have any opportunities though.

[ashipinharbor]

2 hours ago, efes said:

I'm not doing it right now because I have no opportunities, but seriously, I have fear about that kinda thing because of some bad experiences. I just don't have any opportunities though.

How do you mean you have no opportunities?