Feeling Contaminated, Help!

[paco5959]

Approx 2 years ago, I had a partner that told me that in the past, he had been with someone (protected) that had hepatitis C. He reportedly had been tested after this, and we continued our relations.. I am almost sure I have had blood tests after this but I cannot pin the date down, which has caused ruminating.. this has not been a thought for 2 years post relationship, I have no symptoms I feel great, aside from the OCD.. here is where I need help..

I am having urges to call my old doctor and see when my last blood test was, and I am panicking wanting to go get tested immediately. My fear is that both of these things are compulsions and therefor will make things spiral into deeper OCD. I am trying to resist compulsions as they make things worse. My OCD and the sneaky beast that it is, seems to be settling in the blurred area between what is taking care of your health, and a compulsion.

Help? Thoughts? Suggestions?

[drac31]

From what you have said, it sounds extremely unlikely that you have contracted it.

Your OCD has latched onto the thoughts that you are having, sowing that seed of doubt, blowing it out of all proportion and increasing your anxiety. I am very new to recovery and have learnt that absolute certainty is not possible. This is very easy for me to say, but very difficult for me to accept, given that OCD demnands absolute certainty 

It does sound as though if you do the compulsion then you will be making the OCD stronger, reinforcing your fears. I would suggest resisting, to weaken the OCD. However, I realise that this is far easy said than done. 

Being new to starting my recovery process, I have limited suggestions, but would like you to know that you are in my thoughts. Sending you my very best wishes  

[whitebeam]

My OCD started with thoughts of the possibility of having contracted AIDS in circumstances which were impossible to have done so.......however, one fleeting thought led to several years of fear of contamination......

If you can, don't give in and check with your GP or get re-tested.....this really does only fuel your fears and compulsions.

It is an amazingly strong fear and disorder - but it can be overcome. The less you check, the less you need to check and, conversely, the more you check, the more you need to check - it really can spiral out of control.

You seem to have a good feel that it is OCD rather than actual illness so try to keep that in mind.

I found medication (the right one that was found after several which didn't help) and a good psychologist really helpful in my recovery.

Take care

whitebeam

Edited December 6, 2016 by whitebeam