Feeling alone, can anyone relate?

[Nats]

I often feel my OCD separates me from other people. I always feel alone as I don't feel confident enough to talk about it to anyone as I know they won't understand. How do people cope daliy? I thought I was doing ok, but then realised my OCD had become the everyday norm, I had just got used to it, I wasn't ok at all. Now I have had a few really down weeks as I feel I can't talk to anyone as they won't fully understand and just brush it off! I don't know anyone else with OCD so I'm just going this alone. 

I'm very specific to time, things have to happen at certain time, not before or after. I have a certain routine I have to follow. Also I constantly have voice in my head telling me how alone I am. I can't seem to cope with sudden change. I feel umcoftable and trapped when people I don't know touch me. I can't seem to just do things, have to plan everything. These are just a few things, can anyone relate?

[taurean]

Sure, everything you say makes sense here. 

It's quite usual for sufferers to feel insular, uncomfortable socially, that they won't be understood.

One of the aims of our charity is to spread awareness about OCD. 

Make sure you save the forums as a favourite.

Then click the link at the top to take you to the OCD-UK website - there is a wealth of information there to help you, plus material to help explain to others. 

 

[taurean]

40 minutes ago, Nats said:

I'm very specific to time, things have to happen at certain time, not before or after. I have a certain routine I have to follow.

That sums up an obsession with ritual compulsions of course. 

40 minutes ago, Nats said:

Also I constantly have voice in my head telling me how alone I am.

Intrusive thought reinforcing a probable fear of being alone and not able to connect with others. 

40 minutes ago, Nats said:

. I feel umcoftable and trapped when people I don't know touch me.

Once you learn more about OCD you will be able to discover why, and what you fear. 

 

40 minutes ago, Nats said:

I can't seem to just do things, have to plan everything.

This rigid rule is typical of OCD. 

It's quite usual to have various flavours of OCD, either connected or with different themes. 

It really would help you to work out what is going on if you worked through some self-help. 

Edited December 10, 2016 by taurean
typo

[Nats]

Yeah, I would really like some help, it's just knowing who to go to or what to do. I haven't a clue, I just can't live like this anymore, it's driving me crazy!!!

[Cub]

Hi Nats

It's okay, I feel alone and distant from people too; you're definitely not alone there. I get voices in my head as well; everyone else seems to know what to do, nobody likes me, etc. But you do know people with OCD - you know all of us!  And we're happy to be here for you. 

I myself have a different branch of OCD to you; I'm your opposite in that I'm untidy and disorganised but I have distressing thoughts and ruminations. But we can all help each other; it's what the forum is here for.

C x

[Nats]

Thanks Cub,

It's horrible feeling alone. I really wish people would understand, but no-one seems to take the time. 

I hope so ??

 

[PolarBear]

Nats, have you looked into Cognitive Behavioural Therapy yet? It's the best treatment for OCD.

[Nats]

I have looked into it before, but not actually tried it. I would like to find a therapist,  but I think it's the actual doing it. 

It's a weird feeling, I know I have OCD and have had for many years. I hate it and want to get better, but part of me kind of likes it because I know I'm in control. It's a catch-22!

[snowbear]

1 hour ago, Nats said:

I hate it and want to get better, but part of me kind of likes it because I know I'm in control.

Ha!   I can relate a thousand times over. This is what's written on the 'About Me' section of my profile:

''I've had OCD for over 40 years. It gives me a feeling of control in a chaotic world. However I also know I will never be in full control of my life until I let go of my OCD.''

I wrote that nearly ten years ago, not long after I joined OCD-UK. I keep it there as a reminder of how different my life is now to what it was like before I had CBT. But here's the interesting part...

I no longer feel the need to control every aspect of my life, indeed I embrace change and variety for the sheer pleasure of them.   I once believed that was impossible for 'a control freak like me.' 

Relinquishing the feeling of control that OCD provides is liberating, fun, and life-changing. But best of all? When you stop trying to make life conform to rigid rules that feel comfortable, you actually gain control of everything for the very first time. And start to understand what it really means to be in control - to be free to choose. 

First step is to accept that what you currently think of as being in control is actually the opposite. Living to rigid rules isn't the same as having control. And the tenuous and fleeting feelings of safety and predictability that OCD gives you is nothing compared to the solid and permanent feeling of being able to enjoy life whether things are done to your liking or not. 

Give it a whirl, Nats. I highly recommend relinquishing the limited control OCD provides for the unlimited control you get when you give up your OCD.   

[Nats]

Thanks for sharing that, really good to hear how much it has made a difference for you. 

I know your right and I really want to do it. Think I'm going to try and find a therapist in the new year and work though it!

I guess it's the fear of the unknown, thinking what I will be like without it and what I will do as it has just become the norm. 

Also as I have no-one to talk to about it I don't know if I'm strong enough to go it alone as I know it's going to be hard and I'm gonna need to talk to someone who can relate! 

I'll give it my best shoot tho 

[snowbear]

2 hours ago, Nats said:

I have no-one to talk to about it I don't know if I'm strong enough to go it alone as I know it's going to be hard and I'm gonna need to talk to someone who can relate! 

I'll give it my best shoot tho 

With reference to going it alone - ultimately we all face our demons alone.  

Then we get together with friends and talk about it.  

Remember you can always come on here and share you're progress, concerns and triumphs if you need someone to cheer you on.

Good luck!