Contamination Trail

[nrh12]

I visited a friend on the way home from shopping and placed some objects on their bed to keep them out of the way - on the bedding on which earlier that day they'd had sex, I didn't know that at the time! My OCD is based around contamination from body fluids.

One of the items was a boxed piece of equipment for my living room that was taken out of the box when I got home and didn't really worry about it as it had been "protected" from contamination by being in the box. But, the box would have been in contact with the bedding, I would have touched the box and then the equipment as I assembled it, at that point I was unaware of the contamination. A few weeks later when I realised what had occurred, I cleaned the equipment with cleaning wipes, the type that are in a pack ready for use. The problem is I'm worried I used the same pack of wipes a few days later to clean the kitchen and bathroom, and so may have contaminated the pack/wipes when I pulled some out/handled them when cleaning the equipment and then passed the contamination onto water tap spouts, the shower head and surfaces etc. when using the wipes in the kitchen and bathroom.

I know I bought a pack of the particular brand of wipes on a certain day and then cleaned the kitchen and bathroom after, but I think I cleaned the equipment before buying this pack, but can't be sure of course. But, being an accountant I stick to a budget and a few days after going through my sales slips/receipts I realised that I had only purchased one other, possibly two other, packs of these wipes which may or may not have been bought in the time frame of cleaning the equipment (don't recall when I cleaned the equipment), leaving suspicion surrounding the pack I'm worried about.

I don't think anyone would want to spread around the contamination I'm worried about, but I wonder if I'm being over cautious or if I should clean anywhere I used the wipes from the afore mentioned pack. But then I also used the shower and taps to wash and then touched things like the sofa, clothes, other things that you wouldn't normally expect to clean as routine.

I know there is no health risk, it's the thought of this contamination that is the issue. In situations like this were there has been a tangible event or action (as opposed to, for example, just seeing a mark or just suspecting something may have happened), I find it very difficult to separate where OCD and more rational attitudes towards hygiene starts and ends.

[PolarBear]

Typical OCD response to a non-event. All the extra cleaning you did was unnecessary. All the extra cleaning you are contemplating is unnecessary. 

You performed compulsions by doing the extra cleaning and going through your receipts. You are contemplating doing more compulsions by doing more cleaning.

Challenge the idea that there was any contamination to begin with. OCD is telling you there was but OCD lies, all the time.

[nrh12]

Hi PolarBear, thanks for the reply.

I haven't done any extra cleaning yet, I cleaned the piece of equipment when I realised what had happened, but the kitchen and bathroom cleaning was just what I did as a matter of routine (without any reference to the equipment issue), but could have used the same pack of wipes.

Thanks again
Neil

[nrh12]

Where there is doubt to begin with (e.g. a random mark on something), I find the obsession less tenacious, because on some level I can appreciate it is a neutral event, that's not to say it's easy but rather a more neutral starting point.

I think part of the reason issues like the one I describe above are so tenacious for me is because of the physical aspects. The bedding/quilt would have been dirty in the way my OCD is orientated, and to add to that there is the physical chain of the contamination: bed to box to hand to equipment to wipes to other items...  

 

[PolarBear]

Sounds like you're trying to rationalize your OCD. Point blank, no one else would have given the matter a second thought. They would have taken the box home, unpacked it, put the stuff away, discarded the box and continued on with their day without thinking about it or doing any washing whatsoever. You're not because you have OCD. The disorder lies. It tells you there is a threat present when there isn't one. You fall for the trap by doing compulsions, trying to fix a problem that doesn't exist.

[nrh12]

Hi, thanks again for your reply

I don't feel like I've tried to rationalize my OCD, more case of I can't escape the physical facts. My OCD is about contamination from body fluids, this contamination was present and I had contact with it.

Thanks again
Neil

[snowbear]

10 hours ago, nrh12 said:

I don't feel like I've tried to rationalize my OCD, more case of I can't escape the physical facts. My OCD is about contamination from body fluids, this contamination was present and I had contact with it.

Hi Neil,

The problem is that you're treating a non-event as if it was a physical fact of actual danger. But your assessment of what is 'fact' is wrong.

The primary thoughts you need to challenge are:-

'contamination was present' and  'It is a physical fact' 

 

 and  

You've convinced yourself that someone having sex on a bed leaves a contamination risk behind. But just because you believe it, and fear it, doesn't make it true. 

It's not a fact, it's a belief. And a faulty belief at that. Start to challenge the underlying problem in your thinking - the belief that there are risks present when there aren't. 

As long as you cling to the belief the contamination risk was real you'll struggle to let go of the secondary thoughts about how 'real' this fear reaction genuinely is and that since there's a 'real' risk you might have spread the contamination your compulsive cleaning precautions are justified.

The fact is there was no contamination to spread. Your initial assessment of the danger was off, that's all. 

[taurean]

This is a relatively simple one to challenge. 

If there was a contamination risk from bodily fluids after people had sex in a bed the whole world would be contaminated by it, which it isn't of course. 

It's not an uncommon form of contamination OCD - and I take an especial interest in contamination themes - but it is challengeable by rational response and behavioural experiment. 

 

Edited January 12, 2017 by taurean
amendment

[nrh12]

Hi snowbear and taurean, thanks for your replies

To a certain extent, I can see your points. But, not being an innocent lad, I know what gets left behind on bedding after such acts , add to that the odd mark or two seen at the time, I don't think the perception I had about the bedding and what was on it was inaccurate.

I don't feel at risk of any harm or danger of death or disease whatsoever, and if their activities had been confined to under the covers I would probably feel different. My OCD (in general and here) is literally about the obnoxiousness of spreading the contamination of body fluids: the objects mentioned coming into contact with such contamination, touching the objects mentioned, then touching the pack of wipes, then using these wipes for general house keeping in the kitchen and bathroom on tap spouts/shower head/where water flows, then washing/showering under the taps, touching other things after that = leaving a trail of contamination.

OCD or not, I don't think anyone would want such obnoxiousness around their home. 

Thanks again, Neil

[taurean]

1 minute ago, nrh12 said:

OCD or not, I don't think anyone would want such obnoxiousness around their home. 

Being Panto time, "Oh yes we would"

Disgust and revulsion are two core elements in OCD. They can sit instead of, or with, fear but only the sufferer will see the revulsion, no-one else will see an original revulsion - semen, female lubrication fluids and orgasm fluid are part of the sexual act, and we don't see revulsion in the by-product of making love. 

As always in contamination, the route to success is to challenge the fear or revulsion in the origin, then unravel the supposed contamination trail. 

OCD uses links and connections, but they don't stack up or are fabrications. 

Don't let this lay down rules - don't accept rigidity, get flexible. 

[snowbear]

56 minutes ago, nrh12 said:

I don't think the perception I had about the bedding and what was on it was inaccurate.

And that's a huge part of the problem.

I'm asking you to challenge your belief that these fears are rational.

They may seem totally rational and justified to your current way of thinking, but they aren't actually rational at all. It's the OCD that's telling you it's a real risk and magnifying it beyond the ridiculous. (Sorry if that offends you, but our reactions to OCD thoughts are ridiculous with hindsight.) 

Your OCD boils down to an overblown sense of risk. The problem isn't the trail of contamination, but how you believe there is contamination which can be trailed around. 

Nobody likes the thought of other people's bodily fluids. But finding something disgusting doesn't make it contaminated. (It took me 40 years to work that out. Honestly, I'm just trying to get you to see this a bit faster than I did!) 

Contamination thoughts, feelings and fears have become 'rationalised' in your mind on the basis that bodily fluids are risky. Well, some are, but you're no longer being rational about the real risk. It's got WAY out of proportion in your head, to the extent you readily challenge us when we tell you sex-on-top-of-the-bedding wasn't a risk. Your OCD makes you feel and think and believe it was a 'literal risk' and that your precautions are justified and necessary. But as long as you continue to buy into this OCD lie you're going to feel that anything that disgusts you is contaminated. 

Challenge the core belief!  

[taurean]

It has surprised me how powerful the disgust issue is - fear I would have reckoned, but disgust can be incredibly restrictive as per snowbear. 

You do need to start dismantling this - that core belief needs to be blown out of the water. 

 

[PolarBear]

1 hour ago, nrh12 said:

OCD or not, I don't think anyone would want such obnoxiousness around their home.

Most people wouldn't care. And the vast majority of people wouldn't do any kind of cleaning nor bother thinking about contamination trails. It's your OCD that's making you think there was anything wrong to begin with.

[taurean]

2 minutes ago, PolarBear said:

Most people wouldn't care. And the vast majority of people wouldn't do any kind of cleaning nor bother thinking about contamination trails. It's your OCD that's making you think there was anything wrong to begin with.

[nrh12]

Hi

Thanks for the replies, I guess I need to focus on adjusting my interpretation of " contamination". 

Thanks again, Neil

[Justine]

I've got contamination ocd but no fear of bodily fluids so wouldn't have done anything in relation to above. Don't think you need to do anything. The wipes will clean everything anyway, they don't spread germs etc unless you use like one wipe for your whole house which very much doubt anyone with ocd does.

[paradoxer]

7 minutes ago, Justine said:

I've got contamination ocd but no fear of bodily fluids so wouldn't have done anything in relation to above. Don't think you need to do anything. The wipes will clean everything anyway, they don't spread germs etc unless you use like one wipe for your whole house which very much doubt anyone with ocd does.

Wipes aren't the issue. The point is no wipes are necessary. Your post is well-intended but actually feeds into the disorder (it responds to the irrational or over-ideated as if it were reasonable). 

[lonely mum]

Hi guys.  Ive just posted on a topic few mins ago and I came across this.  My fears are based on semen- I see it everywhere! I'm also repulsed by it, scared and find it very filthy/dirty.  I'm not worried about getting sick from it.  I'm reading some of the comments/replies to the original post and I'm overwhelmed reading it all.  I guess I need to digest it.  Also to the original poster, nrh12, I feel like you're writing/describing my thoughts! I find this fascinating because you're a bloke An have this same/similar fear.  Anyway, thank you for this post

[paradoxer]

Being a bloke is neither here nor there - you seem to be ascribing some 'logic' to an obsession. 

Edited February 5, 2017 by paradoxer

[lonely mum]

1 hour ago, paradoxer said:

Being a bloke is neither here nor there - you seem to be ascribing some 'logic' to an obsession. 

Yes I know it doesn't matter if you're male/female.  I have a fear of semen and part of me thinks it's to do with the abuse I got from a man, so to see a man suffering from this contamination of bodily fluids, it's a different perspective.  I'm also not abscribing logic to the obsession- if it was logical I wouldn't be here seeking help.  Before becoming a mum, I was a lawyer.  OCD throws logic out the window, but I understand where nrh is coming from becuse my obsession is similar/same and I come here to seek guidance when I don't know what rational thinking shoud be.  I can relate to the uncertainties and appreciate the advice given.

[paradoxer]

With OCD the theme is essentially irrelevant and will for many invariably morph anyway. A woman might have an obsession re menstrual blood, so might a man. There's nothing remarkable about that. Ascribing relevance can be the antithesis of therapy. There are sufferers who believe they are serial killers, sufferers who think they don't exist, sufferers who fear their thoughts can kill ... are scared of being heterosexual, are afraid of being a pedophile, etc. In other words OCD can be about anything - the obsession is in effect immaterial. 

[Justine]

19 hours ago, lonely mum said:

Yes I know it doesn't matter if you're male/female.  I have a fear of semen and part of me thinks it's to do with the abuse I got from a man, so to see a man suffering from this contamination of bodily fluids, it's a different perspective.  I'm also not abscribing logic to the obsession- if it was logical I wouldn't be here seeking help.  Before becoming a mum, I was a lawyer.  OCD throws logic out the window, but I understand where nrh is coming from becuse my obsession is similar/same and I come here to seek guidance when I don't know what rational thinking shoud be.  I can relate to the uncertainties and appreciate the advice given.

My ocd started after abuse as well and the other person I know with it said hers started after being very badly bullied so I think its possible its linked. Contamination ocd does span men and women though and some people have it all their lives whereas mine and my colleagues was starting almost immediately after the abuse. It may be once you've been really frightened and thought you were going to die or whatever you are more susceptible to reacting to frightening thoughts. 

[Guest ashipinharbor]

On 2/4/2017 at 18:27, lonely mum said:

Yes I know it doesn't matter if you're male/female.  I have a fear of semen and part of me thinks it's to do with the abuse I got from a man, so to see a man suffering from this contamination of bodily fluids, it's a different perspective. 

That does seem like a possibility. I think we, as a community, shouldn't try and dismiss reasoning behind our fellow sufferers' obsessions. But instead focus on helping to guide and support them.