My period started...

[Phili]

On time!

I went to the loo, stood up and the seat was covered in blood, floor too. I am not surprised I have been light headed, nervous and moody the last week but on time is unprecedented and red right off the bat?

It has been getting more regular but, is there something wrong with me? Is this a good or a bad thing? 

[Caramoole]

I sincerely hope no-one engages with this post.

Utilise what you've learned Phili? It's time to implement those skills.

[Phili]

I am looking for support not reassurance.

[Caramoole]

5 hours ago, Phili said:

I am looking for support not reassurance.

How so?  This is a direct question asking to be reassured about your period, not one about support for how to deal with your OCD.

You have had lots of information from the forum and your Psychologist about normal bodily functions and how your OCD is distorting your concerns.  Now you have to try & utilise the techniques to deal with the compulsions.

I'm not happy to let this thread run if it returns to being just an outlet that allows a place to perform compulsions.

[Phili]

It is a genuine question about if it is normal or not. I'm tired, my head has been really foggy recently and I can't settle. Why is it always five steps forward and ten back. I don't know what to do with myself.

[Caramoole]

It may "seem" like a genuine question about what's normal....it isn't.  It's your OCD pushing to be reassured.

You have to work at using the recommendations of your psychologist or it always will be 10 steps backwards.

[kittypurry]

Periods change as we get older. There is no normal and my cycle can vary anywhere from 25 days to 35 days.  

[Caramoole]

Hi Kitty

That's true but in Phili's case we don't need to be discussing periods, she already has this information.  We're talking about an obsession, about OCD, about doubt, about the need for certainty and it won't help to discuss the menstrual cycle, it helps feed and maintain the problem.  I do understand though that your comment was well-intentioned.

[Guest ashipinharbor]

4 hours ago, Caramoole said:

It may "seem" like a genuine question about what's normal....it isn't.  It's your OCD pushing to be reassured.

Trust CaraMoole on this! OCD is completely illogical, asking stuff of us that doesn't make any sense, and is, therefore, impossible to satisfy.

[Phili]

If I stick my head down the loo and flush, you think it would help?

[Caramoole]

Possibly

Now....when you've finished being sarky, how do you think you could alter your reaction to a very old/constant obsession?  Do you think your therapist would suggest going online and discussing your period in detail or would she recommend another way?

[Phili]

Well I called my psychologist because it was two splats of blood and some congealed down the toilet. There has been nothing on the pad and so I thought maybe I had a burst blood vessel or something but I think it is my period. She said to keep an eye on it. I forgot to ask what to do with the other one...

[snowbear]

5 hours ago, Phili said:

I called my psychologist because it was two splats of blood and some congealed down the toilet.

 So you sought reassurance as your first line of action. I thought you'd moved on further than that, Phili? 

Periods are very variable. Your psychologist should have told you to file anything and everything to do with periods under 'normal' and not to focus on what it looks like or how it presents.  

That's the point of understanding you need to reach so you don't get bogged down in unimportant details about what colour it was or how it looked, and then feel the need to be reassured that those individual things are ok. 

As long as you keep telling yourself you don't know what's normal you'll want reassured by external sources. Just accept that it's all normal. With periods, pretty much 'anything goes'. Start building your self-confidence. Accept that you have learned and are capable of dealing with this normal event. Stop telling yourself you don't know what's normal as this only makes you want to be reassured. 

[Phili]

Well it was about homework not reassurance and she wouldn't tell me any reassurance either. You see I used to wear pads all the time and never looked at them. This is the first time I have actively looked at my period for two years so I don't know what's normal anymore. It is 100% my period because of the Miread of colours but this is my first time looking so it's hard.

She is trying to get me comfortable with my body, rather than viewing it as something that wants to kill me like I do now. Right now I am dying from three different things and that doesn't include aging. 

She told me that with periods I only have to worry about yellow or green as it is a sign of infection.

Edited February 10, 2017 by Phili

[Caramoole]

1 hour ago, Phili said:

This is the first time I have actively looked at my period for two years so I don't know what's normal anymore

Well that's not entirely true Phili........there are dozens of threads here that demonstrate otherwise.  However, as Snowbear (and your Psychologist) has explained, you can treat it all as "Normal".

 

1 hour ago, Phili said:

It is 100% my period because of the Miread of colours but this is my first time looking so it's hard.

That's a self-reassuring statement born out of ruminating (and checking), all compulsions.

 

1 hour ago, Phili said:

She told me that with periods I only have to worry about yellow or green as it is a sign of infection

There you go then......and that's not what you're doing.  So let's stop talking about the period itself and start talking about the things you need to be doing in regards to your OCD and compulsions.   That's the area you need to be working on