I will never be rid of this worry

[Suzi Q]

I'm finding it so difficult to live in this constant state of fear daily. I'm not sure if it's ocd or general anxiety, but I'm so scared that my little girl will get poorly and it will turn into something serious. 

I worry about it all the time, I can't enjoy my life. She starts pre-school soon which is a breeding ground for germs, and I'm worried I won't be able to cope. I'm on my own with my little girl, and I worry I won't pick on symptoms fast enough, (I become a panicky mess and start trembling when she is ill) 

I've had therapy specifically for ocd (CBT and exposure stuff) and I've managed to cut down my hand washing slightly, but once she starts catching pre-school colds and viruses the fear will be too overwhelming. 

Any advise on how to deal with this sort of anxiety would be appreciated (should I still stick with ocd therapy or general anxiety therapy) and would be nice to hear off anyone who is going through anything similar. Thanks 

[Suzi Q]

Hey Jessie

Thank you for your reply, it helps knowing that you went through it too and it's not so bad for you now, (and that you've dealt with chicken pox! a fear of mine at the moment!) My brain ALWAYS goes to worse case scenario! I need to learn to differentiate between anxiety and reality. 

Thanks again xx 

[Suzi Q]

Thanks Jessie, I really appreciate you sharing your experience. It helps to hear what other mums go through. 

I think it's a good idea to be prepared, so I won't be caught off guard. And accept that children will get ill! I need to approach it in the calmest way possible and hope that my brain will comply! 

I never imagined having children would be this scary!  

xx

[Storm]

Hi Suzi

17 hours ago, Suzi Q said:

 

I'm finding it so difficult to live in this constant state of fear daily. I'm not sure if it's ocd or general anxiety, but I'm so scared that my little girl will get poorly and it will turn into something serious. 

 

This sounds very similar to me. I used to hate it when HV's and docs would say "you're a mum, you will know the signs if they get worse". I knew nothing about children, how would I know to spot these signs? 

I let these fears of her getting ill take over the first 4 yrs of me being a mum. I used to lose weight whenever my little one was ill. Half a stone would go in a week as I'd be so consumed by anxiety that I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten. But, I'm slowly changing the way I respond to her being ill. For example, she currently has a virus, which she's had since last week. I thought it had got better and out of no where she's got an upper resp infection, having to have an asthma pump, calpol for her temp and lost her appetite. She has slept with me the last few nights ( my husb thinks this is a compulsion) But she's still her bouncy self, and seems to be a bit better today. 

I'm having cbt at the moment and I'm learning that I can live through the anxiety I'm feeling. I still felt more anxious the last few days, coupled with lack of sleep, I'm finding it harder to challenge OCD. But I can't deny my handling of these type of situations has much improved recently.

i hope this makes sense, I'm being distracted by an over tired 4 yr old that wants to watch the lion king with me (again!!!) 

Storm x

[Suzi Q]

 

 

18 hours ago, Storm said:

Hi Suzi

This sounds very similar to me. I used to hate it when HV's and docs would say "you're a mum, you will know the signs if they get worse". I knew nothing about children, how would I know to spot these signs? 

I let these fears of her getting ill take over the first 4 yrs of me being a mum. I used to lose weight whenever my little one was ill. Half a stone would go in a week as I'd be so consumed by anxiety that I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten. But, I'm slowly changing the way I respond to her being ill. For example, she currently has a virus, which she's had since last week. I thought it had got better and out of no where she's got an upper resp infection, having to have an asthma pump, calpol for her temp and lost her appetite. She has slept with me the last few nights ( my husb thinks this is a compulsion) But she's still her bouncy self, and seems to be a bit better today. 

I'm having cbt at the moment and I'm learning that I can live through the anxiety I'm feeling. I still felt more anxious the last few days, coupled with lack of sleep, I'm finding it harder to challenge OCD. But I can't deny my handling of these type of situations has much improved recently.

i hope this makes sense, I'm being distracted by an over tired 4 yr old that wants to watch the lion king with me (again!!!) 

Storm x

Thank you for the reply storm. The way you described the first 4 yrs, is what I'm going through now, it really takes over the enjoyment of motherhood! 

Glad to hear the way you respond to your daughter being ill is improving. I agree, the ocd is harder to tackle during challenging times and lack of sleep!  I think finding a therapist who can help me work through this anxiety is important. 

Hope your daughter is feeling better  x 

[Storm]

10 hours ago, Suzi Q said:

Hope your daughter is feeling better  x 

Thanks Suzi. 

Take care x