Doing better but need advice

[Phili]

My psychologist is off sick this week and I think next as well. I have been carrying on my homework but have been struggling to do it all as my period takes a lot of energy. I have been looking at the pad but am finder it harder but I have looked down the loo every time. The thing is, for five minutes a day I am supposed to examine selected body parts, I am also supposed to be doing exercises. The trouble is I keep forgetting. I have tried signs, alarms, reminders and a time table and I still forget, any advice, I want to do these things so why do I keep forgetting?

[lostinme]

Sticky notes around the house are good reminders Phili, that's what I do it reminds me of what I need to keep doing. 

Hope this helps?

[Caramoole]

I'm not sure Phili.....and I'm not sure that you do forget at all, sorry   

3 hours ago, Phili said:

I have tried signs, alarms, reminders and a time table and I still forget

If you are using all of these prompts then you aren't really forgetting, you're choosing not to knuckle down and do the homework, you're deferring it either because you'd rather be doing what you're doing or you don't really want to do it.

You have to be honest with yourself as to what your reasons are and either discipline yourself to do the homework when you see the prompt or accept that for now, for whatever reason....you'd rather stick with your current situation.  Five minutes a day to someone who wants to make an improvement to their lot isn't a lot to ask.  Try and examine why you're resisting doing these things.  

[Phili]

Why dont I care? I have this awful apathy that I cannot shake. The lady from HUTS asked me "if I didnt have all the things I have, if life hadnt thrown me this curve ball then what would I do, what would I like to do" and I didnt have an answer. I used to but...I gave up on my dreams not long before my Mum passed away. I figured the best I could get out of life was small moments of joy, a nice treat, a good joke. I came to the realisation that to live without causing waves was the best way forward. People say "well its not like that now" but I gave up and I have no idea how to recover from that. No one seems to have an answer. I keep trying but in truth, other than to make sure than Anne and ,my brother are secure, there is nothing that i want.

Even my writing. Creating the fantasy world the way that I am is just to distract me from actually writing. May be I am afraid I will fail and be rubbish. 

But the truth is, I dont know how to recover. Emotion seems to have left me. Only Anne seems to be able to draw any feeling in me. I have no direction, no wants, no bucket list, no dreams. I cant make people understand that and so I dont know how to get them back and I am in such an apathy that I dont even care if I do. I dont want to be like this but everything has left me. Faith, passion, fight, desire and I dont know how to get them back or replace them.