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Do people listen?


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"Esteemed" American psychiatrist M. Scott Peck wrote The Road Less Travelled which sold bucketsful and made him millions but at the end of his life he bitterly said "most clients don't listen". I remember the interview maybe 8/10 years ago before he died. Do I listen to those wiser than me on the forum? I'd like to think I do but it seems (without being cruel) a lot of people are just going round and round in circles - with or without (good/bad) therapy. I'll either get no responses to this post which is cool and normal (!) but don't please post anything antagonistic in response because believe me I have been round the block with this condition all of my adult life. All I post is from my own experience and I never want to upset anyone. Best wishes and remember "just a thought". Phil.

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Hi phil, I think basically, some people listen and some people don't really. Or that some people are so deeply entrenched in their OCD problems that they try to listen and apply what they are told but become overwhelmed and go back to old habits! I know I'm guilty of the latter when in a really bad way! Xx

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2 hours ago, PhilM said:

it seems (without being cruel) a lot of people are just going round and round in circles - with or without (good/bad) therapy

I think Wonderer pretty much explains it and why this happens.  We have been doing this 12+ years now, and just occasionally we will see those entrenched people suddenly 'get it' and the turn around in their circumstances becomes remarkable to watch.

Our job is to keep repeating and delivering the right message, in the hope that one day those people will get their 'got it' moment, be it a month from now or a year from now.  What we perhaps have to get better at (I am guilty of this as much as others) is we need to show a little more patience and compassion to those repeating mistake after mistake. For most of them they perhaps cant help it, their OCD is just too strong for them to get it right now.

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3 minutes ago, Jessie_Loz said:

So people who are constantly asking for reassurance are OK to do so and we just have to keep reminding them it's just OCD?

No of course it's not appropriate, but no one situation is the same.  If the user is relatively new then we have to try and educate them and help them understand. If a user is using the forum for reassurance month after month, then we will take some action where it's clear all else is failing.  But if the person is trying to help themselves a little, then we should try and support them and not just keep saying 'stop asking for reassurance'.   We have to give them alternatives at the same time.

 

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I try and listen to the people here and for 3 years I was doing good, going to college and meeting friends and then uni and suddenly the exams come along and 2 weeks to study when we did a 10k word reports for 4 subjects before that. 

It took its toll and now I'm suspended from university, no money because the social don't believe people like me and there so called "specialists" who interview you. Just because we can look someone in the eye and can walk a little we're fit. 

I have back injections to get in march and scared and have to sort uni to return next year, have cpn to chase up and on meds that don't work no more. 

My ocd has got so much worse and I try not to get reassurance but this has turned into emailing and bugging people because I'm so obsessed with sorting things out and people not relying gets to me, specially when it's my future at stake

i feel I have no support and no friends, no job now and I'm a complete waste and I come here and get people saying "wise up, get a grip". 

 

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9 hours ago, Marko2020 said:

I come here and get people saying "wise up, get a grip". 

That would be disappointing if someone has replied to you in that fashion, I would be happy to take a look if that is the case.  Could it be you're reading more into this topic than is actually there and projecting your own thoughts? I know I often thought that myself, about myself when in the middle of an OCD compulsion ritual.

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Thank you for the responses and I have definitely learnt something from them.

12 hours ago, Ashley said:

I think Wonderer pretty much explains it and why this happens.  We have been doing this 12+ years now, and just occasionally we will see those entrenched people suddenly 'get it' and the turn around in their circumstances becomes remarkable to watch.

Our job is to keep repeating and delivering the right message, in the hope that one day those people will get their 'got it' moment, be it a month from now or a year from now.  What we perhaps have to get better at (I am guilty of this as much as others) is we need to show a little more patience and compassion to those repeating mistake after mistake. For most of them they perhaps cant help it, their OCD is just too strong for them to get it right now.

I'm the same when it comes to patience and compassion - I need to show more. I think in a way because most - if not nearly all - of family have never given a damn or shown any interest in my condition it may have made me a little bitter which is MY problem to address. The above posts have reinforced that in my mind so thank you all. Phil

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I think I took it the wrong way Ashley and I apologise for that, I really need to think before I write things as it's my biggest problem at the moment.

the frustration and thoughts all combine and then it's like a big explosion in my head.

Ashley can I ask why OCD care in Scotland is so poor? I feel the last cpn I had was really nasty to me and they will give her to me again, she was like a dragon lol. 

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