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Can someone tell me what this is please?


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25 minutes ago, Caramoole said:

Try and answer that one for yourself Saz, based on everything you've read on your threads.  

Because I'm such a worrier probably  x

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 Because I'm such a worrier probably  x

Saz, you're still not taking ownership of what your problem is :wontlisten:

Even though you can't shake the doubtful feelings off, you should now be able to reasonably look at the thought process and identify it as a typical example of OCD

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I'm kind of dreading tomorrow as it's Monday and keep thinking someone will be knocking on the door because of what I said to the gp 

Yes, you keep "thinking", you keep "ruminating".  Distraction alone won't work, you firstly have to learn to identify and label the thoughts for what they are and then setting about the task of not ruminating.

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6 hours ago, Caramoole said:

Saz, you're still not taking ownership of what your problem is :wontlisten:

Even though you can't shake the doubtful feelings off, you should now be able to reasonably look at the thought process and identify it as a typical example of OCD

Yes, you keep "thinking", you keep "ruminating".  Distraction alone won't work, you firstly have to learn to identify and label the thoughts for what they are and then setting about the task of not ruminating.

I've got a bit of a tricky one today and I actually can't identify which bit was the ocd - if you can call it that. So as previously mentioned my baby has a clicky ankle and it cracks/clicks even with the lightest of touches, like when im getting dressed.  Now I have mentioned this to the gp last week and he said he wasn't concerned but it's one to keep an eye on. I also mentioned this to the health visitor when she came round a few weeks ago, she said babies do click. However as a mum I am worried that his ankle may be extra weak and that I could end up hurting him accidently if their is an underlying issue. I mentioned this clicking ankle to the health visitor today when I was getting the baby weighed as it clicked in the clinic.

Here is my issue. I am worried about the ankle and feel like I may be overly worrying as have mentioned it a few times now  (possible ocd)  but also I didn't want to mention it again today because of my fear of all those stories I've heard about ss wrongly accusing parents of stuff etc etc (possible ocd) However I did tell the health visitor who said she will refer to a physio just to check it over. I don't know what o should have done for the best in this situation. By mentioning again I feel bad and like I'm making a mountain of a molehill  (even though it's worrying me) but if I didn't mention it,  would have been avoidance. I am worrying now that I should have just left it.

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The whole thing is OCD because you're clearly anxious over it, all facets of it. It seems your health visitor and your doctor aren't worried so that should give you a clue as to how you should behave. I suspect this is nothing and that's the way you should treat it.

Deeper than that is this irrational fear you have that your kids are going to be taken away from you. I suspect that comes from your completely fake and made up OCD obsession about you doing something wrong one night four years ago and translating that into believing (wrongly) that if you were 'caught' that your kids would be taken away from you. Oh what a wicked web OCD weaves.

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1 hour ago, PolarBear said:

The whole thing is OCD because you're clearly anxious over it, all facets of it. It seems your health visitor and your doctor aren't worried so that should give you a clue as to how you should behave. I suspect this is nothing and that's the way you should treat it.

Deeper than that is this irrational fear you have that your kids are going to be taken away from you. I suspect that comes from your completely fake and made up OCD obsession about you doing something wrong one night four years ago and translating that into believing (wrongly) that if you were 'caught' that your kids would be taken away from you. Oh what a wicked web OCD weaves.

I suspect you have hit the nail right on the head there polarbear. Have to disagree about the bit were you say I believe (wrongly) about my kids. I think if it were true then that's what would happen. 

I'm trying not to engage in it all. I've gave myself a bad headache with it all, so have come to bed a bit earlier, hoping tomorrow is better x

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How do I download that book...pulling the trigger is it? I don't have a kindle though, I'm not very technical at all. 

Feeling even more down and worried about it all

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Try not to let OCD spread its tentacles further into your life Saz. I had a fear of HIV when I was younger and it morphed into a phobia of the postman which stuck around for years! I'm glad you're getting the book because you need to get this sorted before you let new related obsessions take hold.

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My older 2 had tablets but they aren't working now, my partner had one but not seen it for ages. I could ask him I guess but would rather he didn't know any of this to be honest.

I'm trying so hard to recognise when im being triggered and it has happened a few times today, I've tried not to engage but I still have that feeling of sick and dread.

1 hour ago, Franklin12 said:

Try not to let OCD spread its tentacles further into your life Saz. I had a fear of HIV when I was younger and it morphed into a phobia of the postman which stuck around for years! I'm glad you're getting the book because you need to get this sorted before you let new related obsessions take hold.

Franklin yes, I am aware now that I'm getting other worries a lot easier now and they are getting to me. This wouldn't of happened on this scale before this false memory, it's like it's broke me.

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On Friday, March 10, 2017 at 14:57, Caramoole said:

Why don't you just order the hard copy of the book?

Yes I will have to do that.  

I'm sorry but I can't believe the things I'm reading, the things that go on in our towns! I am literally getting bombarded with horror stories left right and centre of what I've been talking about in this thread (not the false memory). Feel like I can't even say it as I will somehow jinx myslef and draw attention to myself. I don't think this is ocd, I'm just disgusted by what is allowed to happen in this country and it causes massive anxiety to me, I feel sick with it all and yes I do imagine it happening to me and my children. It looks like nobody is safe. I am seeing more and more of this so it's not like I'm worrying for nothing. For someone like me who is writing on a forum like this, I'm bound to be an easy target even though my kids are so well looked after and thrive. Please can anyone rationalise this with me. Should I be worried about writing on this forum? I feel sick with worry please...

And also why am I seeing all this stuff so much? It's like it's some sort of weird sign.

Edited by Saz
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2 hours ago, PolarBear said:

I don't understand why writing on the forum is a problem or what makes you a target and by who.

Sorry polarbear I am talking about the social services. Keep seeing articles / hearing stories of them removing children from loving families for no good reason at all or making reasons up. I am petrified to write on here incase they are reading this (I know you might think that's paranoia) but I think this site makes people like me an easy target, like they will think I look unstable etc etc, which is absolutely not the case. It makes me want to delete all my content,  especially given the nature of my worry. I don't think I'm going to be able to shift this one. The fear is intense.

1 hour ago, Caramoole said:

Simply because it's paramount in your thoughts, you're noticing it.  Nothing more signifcant

I'm not sure caramoole, this stuff is real from what I can see and a real cause for concern. Im definitely seeing it way more than i should. My cousins sister in law, the girl i knew from school at  the drs, my actual Dr,  my friend in work (these didn't have children removed by the way but didn't have a good experience at all with them), a friend on facebook, then articles popping up on my facebook news feed etc. I don't think I'm being irrational here. I'm terrified. 

Edited by Saz
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Oh you're being completely irrational and paranoid. You're letting your OCD get the best of you. I think it all stems from an irrational fear of your intrusive thoughts, whatever they are. You're so afraid of them you won't talk about them here. Hundreds of people come here and spill the beans, writing down what their intrusive thoughts are, in all their gory detail. They're not worried about the big bad government coming to take their kids away. Well, most aren't anyway. You want to run and hide when what you should be doing is opening up. I don't think you're ever going to get past this if you can't name it. Your intrusive thoughts are no worse than anyone else's, certainly not the ones that haunted me for forty years. Whatever they are, they're just normal, everyday OCD intrusive thoughts. You have to start treating them ad such and stop treating them like some big, awful secret.

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2 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Oh you're being completely irrational and paranoid. You're letting your OCD get the best of you. I think it all stems from an irrational fear of your intrusive thoughts, whatever they are. You're so afraid of them you won't talk about them here. Hundreds of people come here and spill the beans, writing down what their intrusive thoughts are, in all their gory detail. They're not worried about the big bad government coming to take their kids away. Well, most aren't anyway. You want to run and hide when what you should be doing is opening up. I don't think you're ever going to get past this if you can't name it. Your intrusive thoughts are no worse than anyone else's, certainly not the ones that haunted me for forty years. Whatever they are, they're just normal, everyday OCD intrusive thoughts. You have to start treating them ad such and stop treating them like some big, awful secret.

Polar bear you always say I don't tell you what it is but I gave told you what if is a couple times now. I just don't go into detail everytime I talk about it. I don't think I am being paranoid either.

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You are "scanning for the thing you fear"  Saz. Seeking out news stories nothing to do with you, and your OCD is making a connection - it's simply what it does - others of us share this issue.

I don't have Facebook but I do know how "tracking cookies"  work - these are placed on your computer/ phone browser by websites to see your preferences and deliver content in line with it - I imagine this is how Facebook knows to deliver news feed to you about children being taken into care - I suspect the reality is nothing more sinister than that. 

So, see that that is what is going on. And yes, as a result of that obsessional thinking a paranoia has developed - think what happened when you saw the doctor, you were scared he would tell people what you shared with him in patient confidence. 

The world though isn't out to get you, that obsession is false isn't it?

It is with me, and my other forum friends I know with similar personalisation and news issues. 

But we don't have to believe it. I have mentioned before that when we expose the OCD from under its cloak we take power away from it. 

 

Edited by taurean
amendment
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2 hours ago, taurean said:

You are "scanning for the thing you fear"  Saz. Seeking out news stories nothing to do with you, and your OCD is making a connection - it's simply what it does - others of us share this issue.

I don't have Facebook but I do know how "tracking cookies"  work - these are placed on your computer/ phone browser by websites to see your preferences and deliver content in line with it - I imagine this is how Facebook knows to deliver news feed to you about children being taken into care - I suspect the reality is nothing more sinister than that. 

So, see that that is what is going on. And yes, as a result of that obsessional thinking a paranoia has developed - think what happened when you saw the doctor, you were scared he would tell people what you shared with him in patient confidence. 

The world though isn't out to get you, that obsession is false isn't it?

It is with me, and my other forum friends I know with similar personalisation and news issues. 

But we don't have to believe it. I have mentioned before that when we expose the OCD from under its cloak we take power away from it. 

 

Hi Roy I know how the browser cookies thing works also. Not once have I ever googled or searched for the content I am seeing. I have some 'friends' on facebook who are well meaning individuals who post the articles or write a status about. It isn't always avoidable. Also people have told me their experiences face to face. As a new mum I petrified about it all. 

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Saz, I've been following your posts for three years now. I don't recall you ever stating what your intrusive thoughts are. Maybe you said it once but you simply don't talk about it, I suspect because you are so afraid of it. These days you seem less concerned about the intrusive thought and more concerned about the consequences of what it would mean if your intrusive thoughts were true. You run scared from your thoughts instead of facing them. You do exhibit paranoia because you believe some faceless government entity could be monitoring what you say on here, just waiting to swoop in and take your kids.

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Polar bear I have told you.

I don't know what more to say. I know how this might look like paranoia but I think it's understandable why I think like this, given what I'm reading and hearing about.

Yes I probably am more concerned about the consequences because if true then that's it.

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Saz 

It seems to me you are applying a cognitive distortion - mental filtering - whereby your brain homes in on anything to do with social services taking children into care, so you seem to see and hear about it everywhere. 

And you have another - personalisation - cognitive distortion where you see something in the news towards your OCD themes and believe that you are connected. 

I have this problem too, as PolarBear knows. In fact because of that knowledge we worked as a team - he referred in to me a lady sufferer with that, plus harm themes, and I have been able to help her (we'd both like to thank you for that PolarBear :thumbup: ) Teamwork here transcends the globe :)

And with you Saz always in the background is the false memory thing where OCD connects the filtered news back to that making you believe it's true and you have committed a crime and will lose your children. 

And as Bear says, you have a paranoia that your posts are being read to collect evidence against you. 

Now I can see all of this - and if you will too you will see what is going on, and can make the thinking and behavioural changes necessary to change all of this. 

Please try and see what is going on, it will help you. 

 

Edited by taurean
amendment
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Saz, if you did write it on the forum it was a long time ago. Frankly I can't remember if you're the one who thinks she killed someone at a bar, thought you made out with the boss in an elevator or raped a toddler in a bathroom. Jive dealt with many people with your OCD theme and the stories all blur together.

That said, I have asked you about posting it here before and you don't do it. Why? I suspect it is because you are very fearful of the thoughts. I think if you say it in here, several times, and tell yourself what the thought is repeatedly, the thought will lose some of its sting over time.

I mean, come on Saz. I've had thoughts for decades about raping children and bludgeoning people to death. Your thoughts just can't be any worse. You have to realize you're just one of millions of people with the same kind if thoughts. You are not unique. Your thoughts are no worse than anyone else's.

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