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Very Concerned Partner!


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Hi all.

I literally just joined up because i have no one else to turn to for this one. I need help, guidance, anything at this point. Please see below:

My current partner of almost 5 years has been recently diagnosed with OCD, although  he has probably suffered from it for maybe 2 years, and after a second attempt of going to a GP he has finally been diagnosed. The spectrum of OCD to which he suffers from is the intrusive thoughts. His intrusive thoughts comes in the form of him not wanting to get cancer/ill and or dying. These come in two different ways i think? Firstly, just as he is about to perform a task i.e. he's about to pick up the phone to answer a call in the charity he volunteers at - if it is a bad call he thinks he will get sick. Secondly, he can just be sitting mobile, watching TV and bad thoughts will come into his head and he has to perform a verbal ritual in order for him to not become sick and or die. 

Anyways, after his visit with the GP on the 15th February he was given mild medication and was told he would go to CBT therapy. Now, I'm not an expert but is it true in saying that the medication given makes the person worse before they get better? The reason I ask is that I have become more aware of his habits to get rid of these thoughts, so much so that he's evening saying them whilst we are getting intimate. This weekend was the worse he's been. Saturday he was very irritable and it was only then that he would begin to say these rituals out loud - this occurred when he was messing around with my hair after my shower and he kept saying 'Don't let anything bad happen' over and over again. I kept asking did he want to do something to distract himself, go for a walk etc but he refused. Then, I popped by on Sunday evening and we were watching TV and he began to say things out loud that I thought he was talking to me, but he just told me not to pay any attention to him and that it was his illness making him say it out loud now. 

My heart just breaks for him. I feel like in just a short space of time that the illness is beginning to consume the man that I love. I'm not sure if it is the tablets or not that has made him worse or what it is. To be fair, this time last year he was hitting himself to get the thoughts away, so he has stopped that which is an improvement. I am just so scared that the thoughts are so overpowering that he doesn't even have a thought to think about me or anything. I know if I ask him he will say of course he loves me and thinks about me, but it is hard to believe when we are sitting watching TV/walking around town and he's whispering to himself to stop the thoughts every few minutes. 

He hasn't began the therapy yet either and I'm not sure what is to happen in order for those sessions to start.

We are going on holiday on Friday and i just really hope he's okay for it - going on a plane and all that worries me a little.

My point of signing up and writing this was to seek help or just people to talk to who have been or are going through similar things. My mental health isn't the greatest either but I just need advice on what can I say or do that will help him?? Because quite frankly my family and friends wouldn't understand and I'm not entirely sure his mother gets it (she understands to a point but keeps saying that he is depressed and also is concerned about her other son who is unwell)  All help and advice is greatly welcome and appreciated. Please and thank you.

 

 

-ch851

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Hi Jess

Thanks for your reply!! :)

That is kind of re-assuring, he said hes going to go back to the doctor to get a bit more of a stronger dose, so hopefully it eases it a bit more until they contact him about therapy!

Yes im so happy hes going to it, although i wish there wasn't such a wait you know? 

Okay i shall try not too! He hasn't been on a holiday in years so maybe its the break that he needs :-)

Thanks so much Jess, i appreciate it!

 

Ch851

x

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Hi and welcome

My son has intrusive thoughts too, although his OCD manifests itself by feeling responsible for everyone's safety and health, not just his own and I wonder if you partner's does too.  Trying to keep you safe, as well as himself.

It really can be all consuming and if he is going back to the doctor's, I would make sure they know he has deteriorated and keep the pressure on regarding the therapy.  Im not sure about the situation in Northern Ireland, but here in England, we have to keep on about it!

I really hope the holiday is the break you need.  As Jess said, some people find it brings some relief.

Do let us know how you get on.

Carol x

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Hi Carol - Thanks!

No i just think its own health like cancer etc - he doesn't like talking about it with me and its so frustrating because i do want to help but he won't let me in. 

 

Yeah I am hoping thats what he will do, he's the type to say 'yeah im going to go back' but would wait about or month or so to do it *eye roll* But yes its kind of the same situation in Northern Ireland

 

I hope so too! 

I will, thank you for your reply! :-)

 

Thanks :) 

 

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