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How can I help my friend


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Hi everyone, 

i will try to keep this brief. I used to struggle with a very bad OCD episode myself a few years back and somehow, thankfully, managed to recover to a point where I can lead a fairly normal life. Through this episode one of my closest female friends told me that she is also a OCD sufferer. She had a very bad, suicidal episode many years ago, after which she started taking medication that helped her and recovered mostly. 

About half a year ago her medication suddenly seemed to stop working and she got into this really bad episode again and hasn't really improved since. She is in a very dark place, on the edge of suicidal, she had to stop working and isolate herself from almost everyone. She had to go through various medication changes, all of which didn't help and had more side effects than good effects, so she is now back on the old medication that so far, after over a month, still hasn't kicked in. Considering the state she is in, I feel like the NHS is really failing her. Apparantly the psychiatrist wouldn't even see her recently, even though her husband stated that she is getting suicidal thoughts, and now she is on a fairly ridiculously small amount of CBT. Every time I meet her she is so down and tells me she doesn't want to be here :( Even though I struggled with OCD very badly myself I find it so hard to give her hope, and I really want to. I know that she will be fine if she hangs in there, but I wonder if anyone here can give me advice on what to say, how to be supportive and how to give her hope. I find it so hard to put it in words and "you will be fine" just isn't enough. 

Im trying to see her as often as I can, take her out of the house, make her have different thoughts and distract her a little (almost impossible so far sadly), try and tell her about my recovery and that it took quite a lot of time. She is very understandably getting very impatient about being in such a low state for so long, the medication not working and feeling so useless. I'm just so worried, I have lost 2 very dear friends through suicide already and always thought that if I had known how upset they had been, maybe I could have helped them. This time I know how bad my friend feels and I am just as helpless. I love her a lot and just want to do something useful, tell her something that actually makes her feel better, even if just for a few minutes. 

What have your experiences been and how have you helped your loved ones when they were at their very lowest? 

To clarify, I have never been on medication myself so I don't know a thing about it. That makes it harder for me as well to give any advice because I somehow managed to get myself out of this terrible loop by meditation, reading a lot about it, the four step brain lock etc. All of which I have recommended. 

I would be so grateful to hear from you. 

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Hi.  Im very sorry you haven't received a reply before, but unfortunately sometimes posts gets buried.

First of all, what a great friend she has in you, so nice for her to have someone who understands what she is going through.  

My son has been on many different medications and although one or two might help a bit, really its the CBT that is going to get her to a different place in life.  Is it not on a regular basis?  Unfortunately Im not sure I can make any more suggestions, except may be her husband needs to make a fuss if he feels she isn't getting the amount of CBT she so clearly needs?

Carol

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