Jump to content

Relapse/ Need advice


Guest Kieran123

Recommended Posts

Guest Kieran123

Hi all, after a break away from the forum and receiving my therapy I feel as though I need some help/advice but worry I may be trying to seek some reassurance. Recently I've finished my therapy, my therapist believed I was ready to go and carry on with life as normal as I hav the right skills and information equipped to understand OCD. Since last week when I finished my therapy I felt a huge amount of anxiety hit me out of nowhere as if I was going back to worrying, overthinking and indulging and seeking too much reassurance. My therapist told me the worst thing I can do is to seek reassurance so it's been difficult trying not to tell loved ones about all of the differenct intrusive thoughts that come into mind and that's the reason I've had a break from the forum as I don't want to give into the reassurance. I've been doing really well the past few weeks and getting on with my life as normal, although after being let go from my therapy I feel as though I've become more anxious and been overthinking a lot and indulging in the intrusive thoughts, I just wanted to know am i having a relapse? The thoughts don't cause too much anxiety as I feel as though I can manage them a lot better than at first, as I lost a lot of weight when I didn't understand about OCD and intrusive thoughts, like I feel bad for not telling my loved ones every thought I have it's as though I feel the need to explain or confess each thought when they already know about each and every thought I've had, so I don't want to be going back over them in depth but I feel like I need to to relieve my anxiety.

If anyone has any advice it would be much appreciated.

Link to comment

Hi Kieran,

To me a 'relapse' means you get sick again, return to how you were before.

Here you're getting intrusive thoughts and compulsive urges, but now you have the mental tools and knowledge to deal with them effectively. You know they're only thoughts, you know that confessing and other compulsions aren't the right way to handle the anxiety - so you're not 'back at square one'. 

It's only a relapse if you stop applying the tools you've learned and give in to the compulsive urges again.

So perhaps a better way to think of this is an opportunity to prove the effectiveness of your new skills. :) 

Successfully applying the CBT skills you've learned will boost your confidence. Increased confidence in your ability to deal with the thoughts in turn means they will make you less anxious and trouble you less and less as time goes by. From here on it's about practising your skills and not going back to the old (unsuccessful) methods of coping like confessing. 

Some people mistakenly think therapy will make the intrusive thoughts stop happening altogether, so it comes as a surprise to discover they can still get unwanted thoughts. Therapy works by helping you understand the thoughts mean nothing, have no power and can safely be ignored without needing to do anything to address them (such as thinking about them ruminatively or doing compulsive acts to neutralise them.) 

The more you ignore them, the faster they fade. It's only because people pay attention to the thoughts and give them meaning that they cause anxiety in the first place.

Link to comment
Guest Kieran123
22 minutes ago, snowbear said:

Hi Kieran,

To me a 'relapse' means you get sick again, return to how you were before.

Here you're getting intrusive thoughts and compulsive urges, but now you have the mental tools and knowledge to deal with them effectively. You know they're only thoughts, you know that confessing and other compulsions aren't the right way to handle the anxiety - so you're not 'back at square one'. 

It's only a relapse if you stop applying the tools you've learned and give in to the compulsive urges again.

So perhaps a better way to think of this is an opportunity to prove the effectiveness of your new skills. :) 

Successfully applying the CBT skills you've learned will boost your confidence. Increased confidence in your ability to deal with the thoughts in turn means they will make you less anxious and trouble you less and less as time goes by. From here on it's about practising your skills and not going back to the old (unsuccessful) methods of coping like confessing. 

Some people mistakenly think therapy will make the intrusive thoughts stop happening altogether, so it comes as a surprise to discover they can still get unwanted thoughts. Therapy works by helping you understand the thoughts mean nothing, have no power and can safely be ignored without needing to do anything to address them (such as thinking about them ruminatively or doing compulsive acts to neutralise them.) 

The more you ignore them, the faster they fade. It's only because people pay attention to the thoughts and give them meaning that they cause anxiety in the first place.

Thanks a lot for the reply polar bear, I'm a lot better but im worried about going back to that dark place when my OCD and anxiety was at its worst, I just feel bad like a sense of guilt not telling my loved ones about bad intrusive thoughts then it make sense me feel like I enjoy them or I'm going to plan on acting on the thoughts, it's just so scary at times. It's good to have gone through the therapy and I just feel I need to have a stepback and put my skills into place.

Link to comment

If reassurance seeking was one of your compulsions from before then it's one you need to watch out for now.

Let me ask you this: Why do you want to tell others about every intrusive thought? Is it simply to infirm or is it because you want to be reassured that you're okay and not a bad person? If it's the latter, it's a compulsion and you don't want to go there.

Link to comment
6 hours ago, Kieran123 said:

I feel like I need to to relieve my anxiety.

Not that I can add a whole lot to what these wonderful people {snow + polar} bear have already said, but I just wanted to recall what the Break Free book clearly says - that you WILL feel the anxiety rise the moment you decide not to do a compulsion and you will feel the urge/need to relieve it. If you don't do anything to relieve it by trusting your judgement that you are not "hiding any secrets" from your loved ones, the anxiety should fade. It may fade in hours or it may fade in days. It generally takes longer to fade away when somewhere in the corner of your mind you are arguing with yourself or trying to justify your decision to ignore it! Hope that helps a bit and good luck!

Link to comment

I think you're also getting a rise in anxiety because your therapy has stopped and your professional safety net as it were has been taken away, which is quite understandable. You just need to work at putting into practice what you have learnt in therapy and try really hard not to do any compulsions or react in any way to the thoughts you are having and the anxiety you're feeling will subside.

Link to comment
Guest Kieran123
20 hours ago, PolarBear said:

If reassurance seeking was one of your compulsions from before then it's one you need to watch out for now.

Let me ask you this: Why do you want to tell others about every intrusive thought? Is it simply to infirm or is it because you want to be reassured that you're okay and not a bad person? If it's the latter, it's a compulsion and you don't want to go there.

Hi polar bear, it's a mix of both really the compulsions are to relieve the anxiety and I know this myself but if I have the same intrusive thought or a new one I feel the need to inform my loved ones so they know about that specific thought and then for reassurance

Link to comment
Guest Kieran123
13 hours ago, Lynz said:

I think you're also getting a rise in anxiety because your therapy has stopped and your professional safety net as it were has been taken away, which is quite understandable. You just need to work at putting into practice what you have learnt in therapy and try really hard not to do any compulsions or react in any way to the thoughts you are having and the anxiety you're feeling will subside.

Hi lynz, yes knowing that I don't have the therapy to go to has made me feel on edge and made the anxiety rise, I just don't want to fall back into that dark place again, I know I have the right skills needed and need to put them into practice now 

Link to comment
Guest Kieran123
17 hours ago, Ram said:

Not that I can add a whole lot to what these wonderful people {snow + polar} bear have already said, but I just wanted to recall what the Break Free book clearly says - that you WILL feel the anxiety rise the moment you decide not to do a compulsion and you will feel the urge/need to relieve it. If you don't do anything to relieve it by trusting your judgement that you are not "hiding any secrets" from your loved ones, the anxiety should fade. It may fade in hours or it may fade in days. It generally takes longer to fade away when somewhere in the corner of your mind you are arguing with yourself or trying to justify your decision to ignore it! Hope that helps a bit and good luck!

Hi, yes that's how I feel sometimes the anxiety will stay for only a few hours or a few days and will then fade it's just scary at the time, thanks for the reply and advice

Link to comment
5 hours ago, Kieran123 said:

Hi polar bear, it's a mix of both really the compulsions are to relieve the anxiety and I know this myself but if I have the same intrusive thought or a new one I feel the need to inform my loved ones so they know about that specific thought and then for reassurance

Then that is a compulsion and it needs to stop. It will be difficult to stop doing it at first but it will get easier over time.

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...