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Liberty

Taking risk v actual real life risk.

8 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

I'm getting pretty desperate here. I'm starting to feel my life isn't worth living I've had enough and can't take much more. Take today I woke up worrying about something I can't remember if I said in the past. Then started worrying I'd got water in electrics when having shower. Then on drive to work I was worried about running a cat over. Then at work became obsessed over my new thing which is getting water in electrical sockets or extensions moving on to this afternoon 2 guilts from the past then back to electrical equipment at home running around manically trying to remember what I've touched decided to go for a walk men from water board were in street digging up something brown and slushy I had to walk through my shoes are now in the bin I feel the house is contaminated I'm loosing the plot I can't take this any longer. It just flicks from one to another constant I'm so fed up I don't want this anymore but I've tried and I don't know how to stop 

 

Edited by Liberty

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Hi Liberty

First of all, your life is worth living. But OCD is hard.  I don't have fear of contamination but I have the thinking I've left something on etc that could cause harm and all that kind of stuff.  I know it can be disabling.  I think my main problem with how it is impacting my life (though that is bad enough in how It takes up my thoughts and time) is different and I've felt that life isn't worth living as it is seemingly ruining things.

But it is and yours is too.  I find that I have to do things that I enjoy, which is that hardest part of OCD, but once in that groove and exercising it helps immensely.  I fell out of running the last few years but it was amazing that things died down when I'd get back knackered after a long run.

I could reassure you about the points in your post, but you know yourself the day is over and nothing bad happened.... except a ruined pair of shoes.

Hope you are chilling out tonight

Best,

 

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Liberty, you could start by actually taking our advice on board and actually doing the hard work necessary to recover. You know we don't just chat here for the heck of it. We actually hope you'll do what we say.

What have you done to identify the compulsions you did for all the examples you listed? What are you doing to delay, slow down and stop those compulsions?

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I've got a bit stuck again somehow and I can't remember what I'm doing and with certain things I'm not sure if I'm taking risk to help my recovery or if my concerns are genuine if that makes sense 

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By now you should know when OCD is rearing it's ugly head. So what have you done to identify your compulsions?

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Liberty, I know it's tough when your brain is misfiring, and the flurry of compulsions sets in. Try, though, at least from a cognitive base, to see this as the OCD's desperation. Only an inane bully has to work that hard. Try to slow things down, and work on resisting, a bit at a time. 

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BTW Liberty - in terms of 'risk' - the other day, I was so wrapped up in ruminating while crossing the street, I almost got run over (it would have been my fault). Anedotal example - recently at an OCD support group, one sufferer related how when leaving her flat, she had a spike about having left the stove on (or similar, I don't recall). In her panic to return to check, she slipped on the stairs and injured herself quite badly. It was motivation for her to seek therapy.  

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I've worked hard today. It feels so awful can't remember what I've cleaned, touched etc but I'm that desperate I'm taking the chance because I truly am at the end of what I can take so I have to do something 

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