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Tips for dealing with Pure O and memory checking?


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Hi all, I wrote in a few days ago and I'm starting to feel a little better. I'm confused on performing compulsions. Let me give you an example: 

I'm trying to remember parts of a night where I have created an image of cheating on my boyfriend. I have started telling myself, "This is a ridiculous thought" and then reattributing it to OCD, "OCD is trying to make me check" and then resisting the urge to check which gives me great anxiety. Am I doing this right or am I performing a compulsion by labeling it as ridiculous? Is it normal to have a lot of anxiety around NOT checking?

I can also feel another thought "morphing" right now and I keep trying to dismiss it, but I don't know how. The last time I tried to dismiss the thought, it came back with a vengeance and here I am!  

I know logically that this thought is OCD because first it started with "maybe I kissed someone" and then that thought went away, and now it morphed into "maybe I had sex with someone" over a month after this particular night. I could feel it "morphing" but I couldn't stop it. 

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Tips for dealing with OCD (not Pure or member checking), simple.... CBT.  Sorry, no quick answer to any of this, it does take work and therapy.

17 minutes ago, californiadreaming said:

Am I doing this right or am I performing a compulsion by labeling it as ridiculous? Is it normal to have a lot of anxiety around NOT checking?

I think now you understand what OCD is and how it works you need to move on from relabelling and sit with the anxiety and what's if's that your OCD is making you doubt if you cheated or not.

 

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You're right. I have a hard time sitting with anxiety without trying to solve it. Is it best to just let them pass or tell myself no? I have a hard time with the advice that says not to "judge" the thoughts. They scare me, so I feel scared. It's hard to just have a thought and go, "oh." Does that make sense?

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I came on here again (as I do about 2x a month when I feel my OCD bubble and teeter on out of control). And I literally am dealing with the exact OCD issue you just mentioned. Reading your post reminded me of how common this is as an OCD theme. I do the exact same thing you just said and it is torture. I understand. The way you say you can feel it morphing into something else is very accurate. You can feel it propelling into another obsession and it is VERY hard to stop it. I think the above comment is wise in saying that the good part is that you have identified this as OCD. I have learned from seasoned people in the blog that literally pushing the thought away and not giving it attention will slowly but surely lessen the amount of times it pops into your head. The thought of not giving the OCD attention will make the anxiety rise, temporarily, but it will then go away. Steady progress, my friend.

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Haha, I kind of know the feeling. I've actually never truly blacked out, I remember even minute details of the night (like what song was playing when we left, and the man on the street that I waved to), yet I convince myself that I totally blacked out and don't remember a portion of the night. It's ridiculous typing it out, actually. 

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OCD is, by definition, ridiculous is it not?

I realised after a while that being thoroughly intoxicated did not increase my desire to perform the acts of which I'm most afraid.

It did, however, cause me lots of other issues. So I reluctantly stopped drinking. My life is somewhat less rock 'n' roll these days, but my conscience is clear. A trade I'm happy to make.

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Guest OCDhavenobrain

Nobody will overcome OCD without feeling horrible. 

 

What is your purpose ?

Edited by OCDhavenobrain
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I am raising hand as another sufferer of same thing. Memory checking to see if I have performed my most feared actions. By reading through these post I now realize that it is very common among Pure-O sufferers.

Never buy in to the OCD demands of checking memory. It will improve.

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