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Dont think i can cope with these thoughts anymore


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Hi im new to the forum and suffer from anxiety and obsessive thoughts/mild ocd tendencies. I have had a troubled past ( suffered abuse as a child). For the past couple of years i have had obsessive thoughts which sometimes i am embarrassed to say are sexual, and most of the time they pop up in my head as questions, they give me anxiety as i feel i must answer them.in order to get rid of the anxiety i feel, or ask reassurance, it feels like i must know these things and my ocd makes me feel like they are important therefore i need to answer them, and the uncertainty i feel over not knowing is horrendous. Im well and truly fed up as iv never had this before, and really dont want carry on like this anymore! I have had cbt in the past which has helped but have never had this, i dont know why im like that. And the thoughts can be so stupid. To be honest im not interested in anything that pops up in my head or knowing the answer but why does it feel like i have to answer everything thats in my head? Iv tried sitting with the thoughts and letting them go unanswered but it feels like my brain will explode and then it gets too much and i have to tell my partner my thoughts/ask reassurance. Can anyone advise on how i can get rid of these? Thanks

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Hi there and :welcome: to the forum.

Unfortunately, you can't get rid of the thoughts, well not in a way you probably hope for.  However, you can get to a place where the thoughts don't trouble you and largely disappear.  The path towards this is by stopping the compulsions and working through that anxiety.  The anxiety can be immense and feel like your brain will explode but it won't, if you don't capitulate and seek relief from compulsions, it will die down again.  It's about getting through that challenging bit.  As long as you use compulsions like rumination, reassurance seeking (in all its forms, which may also include looking up information) the intrusive thoughts will retain power over you.

Try firstly to identify all the compulsions you do.  Look out for all the things you do after an intrusive thought strikes you and then you can start to form a plan of action as to how to begin to reduce them

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It feels as though i cant stand it any longer when trying to sit with them unanswered and have the urge to google them or ask reassurance, it makes you think you must find out the answer, its so hard.

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That's because you are giving meaning to the thoughts. You are reacting to them as if the thoughts mean something. But they don't. They're just random bits of noise your brain spews out. You can make a choice to ignore the thoughts, treat them as meaningless, and not do compulsions around them. It's a tough shift in thinking but it can be done. Lots of people have done it.

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3 hours ago, Donnaann21 said:

It feels as though i cant stand it any longer when trying to sit with them unanswered and have the urge to google them or ask reassurance, it makes you think you must find out the answer, its so hard.

When you're in the throes of a spike - seeking a way out it's incredibly hard. The problem is - and I'm sure you've found it - the relief after performing a compulsion is fleeting and tenuous - because it suggests that the thought is important. The more you perform compulsions - the deeper into the mire you get. You have to respond in a counter inuitive way, treat the thoughts as irrelevant. 

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