californiadreaming Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I know that this can't be healthy, but I'm going to ask. Sometimes, when I'm in the throes of an OCD panic, I'll purposefully scare myself. For example, I used to be worried about having AIDS, so I would google symptoms on purpose to scare myself. The reason I wanted to scare myself was because, I felt that if I didn't Google these things, I was practicing avoidance. I messed up yesterday and did this. I googled, "Can you blackout and not remember having sex?" and really made myself spike and ruminate. How do I get rid of the urge to scare myself without it being a compulsion? Is this even a compulsion, or failed ERP in a way? Link to comment
PolarBear Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I don't know about wanting to scare yourself but Googling such things is a compulsion. It's a type of reassurance seeking. You can either be seeking reassurance that your fear is unfounded or that it is founded. Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 I have done this. At certain crisis points I've even asked the interweb the exact question for which I'm seeking reassurance (as if the ether would know whether I remembered to take medication on a particular date!). So whatever it is, you're not alone in experiencing it. Link to comment
californiadreaming Posted March 28, 2017 Author Share Posted March 28, 2017 My brain does this weird thing where I say, "you need to Google it. If you don't, you're avoiding the problem." So, I feel like I'm avoiding my fear if I don't research it. I'm not sure what that means. It's really odd. Link to comment
paradoxer Posted March 28, 2017 Share Posted March 28, 2017 'My brain does this weird thing ...' There's your answer. It's a compulsion - straightfoward reassurance seeking - or 'testing' - also a compulsion. Link to comment
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