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Things about death


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Hi, i am here with something stupid again

 

so on twitter, tumblr and instagram maybe some of you have noticed but everyone "wants to die" lately. Idk how many of them literally means it but i don't, i need to see a few things first, like i have a few reasons to live. For example finals week:"i wanna die" or seeing a hot picture of someone:"i wanna die" etc

 

the other morning i said:"i hope this choker actually chokes me and i ***" then a few hours later i noticed something odd on my skin, i feared it could be cancerous (turned out it was harmless, but could be God's call) 

 

and like 10 minutes ago, i was watching a video of a band i like and this member gives me feelings of happiness and admiration. He smiled and i literally whispered:"oh my God i want to die" and i then remembered tonight is an important night in our religion and my "prayer" is death when i don't really want it. It sounds so stupid but i don't really think of it as literally dying when i say it. That's just a popular thing to say and my mouth is used to it now.

 

im not even that religious but my obsessions have been about religion too. And about death. Now i don't want to literally die. But why do i keep saying it? Maybe i made God mad and i will actually die...

 

 

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