What causes mental problems?

[bruces]

What causes them? 

[chaosed]

There are a lot of factors that weigh in, a definite answer would not be possible.

As far as OCD is concerned, I found an interesting video which attempts to explain it. It's this one. Still, I am no expert and I did not study these things.

Edited April 6, 2017 by Ashley
Remove you tube video

[snowbear]

Bruce,

I know you too well so I know the question you're ruminating on isn't literally 'what causes mental problems'.   But do you realise that? Can you identify for yourself the underlying thoughts that created this question?

Instead of lamenting how you got into your current pickle, put your energy into making a plan to sort yourself out. 

What's making you feel as bad as you feel right now? I'm sorry to be blunt about about it, but you are. You're now the cause of your own mental problems, maintaining your own misery with these endless ruminations. 

You have to work at not ruminating. If you don't put in the effort to stop them the thoughts will go round and round...and round, exactly as they have been doing these past 3 years. You need to choose not to engage with the thoughts and then don't engage with them when they start. And they will start up again and again, so you disengage from them and get your mind onto other things again and again plus one. 

After all the cognitive exercises I've given you to do this past year, have you written out a single plan of action yet? Have you even started to put the past behind you and forgive yourself? 

It's got to start somewhere. So begin by deciding you won't ask yourself any more of these type of 'poor me, how did I end up in this mess?' questions.

Get your head out of the past and into the present. You're scared to focus on the here and now because you keep telling yourself the present is unbearable. But actually, if you can only stay in the present instead of going off to the past in your thoughts all the time, I think you'd find your current life is a lot rosier than you give it credit for.

[Guest OCDhavenobrain]

The brain.

 

The common idea in science is people with OCD have overactive parts in the brain and a fawtly part which not filter things so good.

The thing which makes me comfortable with this notion of recovery is that there are scans of the brain changing after recovery.

 

You could also rely on all the stories from recovered people

[bruces]

It's so hard to stop ruminating I try  and try 

[snowbear]

I know it's hard, Brucey, but you just have to be determined not to go there and set the thoughts aside, time after time for as many times as it takes. 

The more you do it the easier it gets. Keep trying. You're a fighter, you can do this.  

[lostinme]

Hi Bruces, snowbear is right you just have to keep repeating it time and time again it takes lots of practice but it is possible. 

Not sure if this is going to be good advice for you, but I was ruminating 24/7 one thing after another all day every day and it's mentally exhausting. The way I stopped myself ruminating was every time I felt compelled to do it is to think to myself quite firmly I'm not doing this I'm not going there and be sort of adamant about it and let it go, distract your thinking to somewhere else it doesn't matter where, just a distraction of some sort. It does take quite a bit of practice but it is achievable.  

When I first started to try to stop myself ruminating I probably only achieved it once throughout the day, but it does get better over time. Each time I found myself ruminating and searching for a answer I began to see that I never got my answer, so I'd agonised for hours for nothing so I began to realise really what was the point. The times that I did find myself ruminating I'd try and remind myself of this.  Sometimes I would still find myself doing it at times but each time I did it became more apparent that I never ever get an answer.

 Remind yourself that you aren't getting anything from it only hours of agonising torment going over and over something you will never get the answer for. 

 Hope this helps you Bruce because its worked for me 

Lost 

 

[chaosed]

2 hours ago, lostinme said:

Each time I found myself ruminating and searching for a answer I began to see that I never got my answer, so I'd agonised for hours for nothing so I began to realise really what was the point. The times that I did find myself ruminating I'd try and remind myself of this.  Sometimes I would still find myself doing it at times but each time I did it became more apparent that I never ever get an answer.

That's exactly what I thought about recently! But it was more like "if rumination was any good, then all my problems I ruminate about would be gone by now" lol

[bruces]

Anxiety levels seem to be huge at the minute especially after waking up 

[bruces]

I can't see a way out 

[Ashley]

12 minutes ago, bruces said:

I can't see a way out 

Here we go again...   Bruces you have been saying the same thing on here for years.  If you want to find a way out of your current state, you have to make it happen, we can't find that for you only you need to find it.  What I find of interest is you often gloss over the advice offered.  A prime example is Snowbear's above and this quote.

 

On ‎04‎/‎04‎/‎2017 at 21:38, snowbear said:

Instead of lamenting how you got into your current pickle, put your energy into making a plan to sort yourself out.

Great advice.  The rest is up to you.

[bruces]

I feel so lost and confused and I don't know why exactly 

[snowbear]

Trouble is, Bruce, you keep trying to work out why you feel lost and confused. So you ruminate over how you're feeling instead of setting aside how you feel and tackling the problem itself - ruminating.

I know what we're telling you to do seems counter-intuitive to you. You're convinced you have to work out what's making you feel lost before you'll be able to stop ruminating about it, but in fact it works the other way around. 

You have to stop ruminating in spite of how you feel. Take a leap of faith that you'll feel better once you aren't thinking about the same old stuff over and over. 

[bruces]

It's very complicated this stuff ! 

[lostinme]

You've been given some great advice here bruces take that leap of faith you've got nothing to lose but perhaps a lot to gain

Take it from me you will feel so much better, you can do this 

[bruces]

23 minutes ago, lostinme said:

You've been given some great advice here bruces take that leap of faith you've got nothing to lose but perhaps a lot to gain

Take it from me you will feel so much better, you can do this 

How are you? 

[lostinme]

I'm good thanks are you feeling a little better? 

Im currently doing cbt and working through my heirachy and doing quite good, but obviously as you probably know I have good days bad days just part of the learning process I'm afraid to say. Today's a bad day but it teaches how to handle it better next time.

[bruces]

I'm glad your feeling a bit better,do you ever wonder what you should be doing with your life? 

[OceanDweller]

6 minutes ago, bruces said:

I'm glad your feeling a bit better,do you ever wonder what you should be doing with your life? 

I used to live believing that one day, when I finally received the requisite treatment, when I managed to eradicate all stress, and when the planets aligned, I would be able to do what I should with my life. Unsurprisingly, that day never arrived. I had to learn to play the hand I'd been dealt. In essence, to make the best of it. As my hero Lennon famously sang, 'life is what happens when you're busy making other plans'. Precious time passed me by whilst I searched for the 'solution' to what was actually my lot.

[bruces]

Emotions are so very difficult to manage aren't they? Life would be ok if they could remove emotions and feelings and just operate like a robot,I've never felt happiness since I was about 14/15 and I'm now nearly 42 and know I won't feel them again! 

[Ashley]

10 minutes ago, bruces said:

Life would be ok if they could remove emotions and feelings and just operate like a robot

No it wouldn't, life would be monotonous drudgery day after day.  Life is for living, and experiencing all of the emotions life can offer from sadness through to utter joy.

But once again Bruces you're focussing on how you feel and what you can't do rather than what you can do, I don't see any follow up from you to Snowbear's earlier suggestions.

[bruces]

True but what if you haven't felt anything but unhappiness for the best part of 3 decades,wouldn't it be better to feel nothing? 

[Ashley]

I have not really had a happy life either Bruce's, I've been single for 25 years apart from a couple of months really.  I am content but I have not been truly happy, but I would still absolutely hate to feel 'nothing'.

You can't change your past, but you can do something to change your future... Getting rid of emotions is not the answer, how will you experience true joy and happiness without knowing the sad times?  

 

[snowbear]

If you haven't felt anything but unhappiness for 3 decades then you're doing it wrong.

Even when life is a mess, full of daily abuse, abject misery and circumstances far worse than you've ever experienced, most people are able to find moments of happiness. When they do, they cling to them, holding on and hoping for the day circumstances will improve. Many people in bad situations actively seek out or create for themselves moments of happiness to counteract the bad stuff they have no control over. 

You, on the other hand, push away any happy emotions, dismiss them, discount them. You focus solely on the negatives around and within you - and then wonder why you're always unhappy.

You seem to believe happiness is something which comes along and falls readily into the lap of a few lucky people, but it isn't. People create their own happiness.

Same with unhappiness. People in bad circumstances decide whether to put up with things and feel unhappy or make the best of things and create their own happiness within their situation. Unhappiness isn't the inevitable result of bad circumstances. It's a choice. 

Depression can make you want to focus on the negatives. That's where you've been for quite a while and (partly) why you struggle to accept life isn't all bad, why you think emotions are bad. But depression can be treated and improved with medication and CBT. You're already on the right meds and at a good dose. But the CBT part only works if you choose to engage with it and put in the mental work and unfortunately you seem to prefer instead to wait for some external source to wave a magic wand and fix you. 

We can't help you if you're waiting for a miracle that's never going to come and choose to be unhappy until it arrives. If you decide you've had enough of being miserable and are ready to change your thinking in order to improve your lot, then we'll be right here, backing you all the way. 

[bruces]

22 minutes ago, Ashley said:

I have not really had a happy life either Bruce's, I've been single for 25 years apart from a couple of months really.  I am content but I have not been truly happy, but I would still absolutely hate to feel 'nothing'.

You can't change your past, but you can do something to change your future... Getting rid of emotions is not the answer, how will you experience true joy and happiness without knowing the sad times?  

 

Is there such a thing as happiness or do people find a way of putting a brave face on? Some people I know have been through far worse things than me (I've had a fairly priveliged upbringing) and they seem chirpy and happy,so I don't understand why I'm not happy.

i rue the past mistakes the wasted chances,I spend all day thinking about what I should be doing ?