Embarrassing OCD

[kaheath80]

I have another symptom which I think is OCD as I've read similar things from other people in the past. It's the one thing I don't really talk about because it's embarrassing. I haven't even told my therapist about it and she knows almost everything else about me.

I wasn't sure it was that big a problem, until today.

Basically when I go to the toilet, a certain type of toilet (I think you can guess), I wipe until there is nothing left on the paper. I push the paper right inside me and keep wiping until everything goes. I often use a lot of paper and it doesn't all flush at once. Also, I bleed pretty much every time. Not a lot, but traces of blood.

I thought maybe it wasn't that big a problem, but I've started to notice it hurts a bit when I'm sitting and today when I went to the toilet I realised I have a massive blister on the inside of my bottom. Really red and sore. 

I feel embarrassed even typing this. But does this mean I'm causing myself problems and that I should try and change something? And if so, how? I just don't like the idea of not being clean after I've been. I don't usually have this type of OCD, so I'm not sure why I'm like this. Although I do have issues with cleaning my teeth obsessively so I guess there's a link there.

[snowbear]

Just now, kaheath80 said:

does this mean I'm causing myself problems and that I should try and change something?

Did the bleeding and blister not give you pause for thought that maybe you were doing something beyond what is required? Yet even now you seek reassurance that you need to change instead of simply changing your behaviour.

How to change. Well, you could stop wiping altogether. Or if that's a step too far for you to consider, just wipe the outside once and stop there. 

If there's so much paper it doesn't all flush at once that's a huge clue you're using more paper than is normal.  

[kaheath80]

I think I considered it was perhaps a tad obsessive, but I didn't think it was much of a problem and thought I may as well carry on, until I saw the blister.

Surely most people wipe after they've been to the toilet? I don't want to have dirty underwear. 

I seem to have a big problem figuring out what is normal and I seem to be damaging my body constantly. Losing weight from all the walking and exercise I'm doing, weakening my bladder by going all the time and now this. I'm starting to worry I might be damaging my teeth from brushing them too much too.

[snowbear]

One wipe is enough to ensure you don't get dirty underwear. Yes, excessive tooth-brushing can damage gums and tooth enamel. 

As a rule of thumb, anything done to excess is usually bad for you. 

[daja]

Sometimes i use fragrance free baby wipes after going for a number two.  Not the wipes that say they are fragrance free though still have a fragrance but the "mild as water" ones from a well known supermarket at 67p per pack.

[OceanDweller]

40 minutes ago, kaheath80 said:

I have another symptom which I think is OCD as I've read similar things from other people in the past. It's the one thing I don't really talk about because it's embarrassing. I haven't even told my therapist about it and she knows almost everything else about me.

I wasn't sure it was that big a problem, until today.

Basically when I go to the toilet, a certain type of toilet (I think you can guess), I wipe until there is nothing left on the paper. I push the paper right inside me and keep wiping until everything goes. I often use a lot of paper and it doesn't all flush at once. Also, I bleed pretty much every time. Not a lot, but traces of blood.

I thought maybe it wasn't that big a problem, but I've started to notice it hurts a bit when I'm sitting and today when I went to the toilet I realised I have a massive blister on the inside of my bottom. Really red and sore. 

I feel embarrassed even typing this. But does this mean I'm causing myself problems and that I should try and change something? And if so, how? I just don't like the idea of not being clean after I've been. I don't usually have this type of OCD, so I'm not sure why I'm like this. Although I do have issues with cleaning my teeth obsessively so I guess there's a link there.

I do this. I'd never even considered it might be OCD-related, just good personal hygiene. I've been fortunate enough to escape blistering thus far though. Always learning...

[daja]

9 minutes ago, daja said:

Sometimes i use fragrance free baby wipes after going for a number two.  Not the wipes that say they are fragrance free though still have a fragrance but the "mild as water" ones from a well known supermarket at 67p per pack.

Don't flush wipes they will block your toilet!

[PolarBear]

Kaheath, you do so many things to the extreme. You raise them here so you've got to know you're going overboard. Time for some changes.

[paradoxer]

Sounds like typical iOCD. 

Edited April 9, 2017 by paradoxer

[snowbear]

59 minutes ago, daja said:

Sometimes i use fragrance free baby wipes after going for a number two.

Also obsessive behaviour, totally unnecessary for cleanliness.  

50 minutes ago, daja said:

Don't flush wipes they will block your toilet!

If wet wipes were needed they'd be manufactured so they dissolve easily like toilet paper. More evidence you don't need them!  

[kaheath80]

11 hours ago, OceanDweller said:

I do this. I'd never even considered it might be OCD-related, just good personal hygiene. I've been fortunate enough to escape blistering thus far though. Always learning...

Yeah, it was only recently I considered it might be obsessive. Be careful, the blister is painful!

10 hours ago, PolarBear said:

Kaheath, you do so many things to the extreme. You raise them here so you've got to know you're going overboard. Time for some changes.

Indeed I suspect these things are OCD related, hence posting about them here. But you could say the same for anyone who posts here. And yes I need to make changes but there are so many things, it seems like an uphill battle.

10 hours ago, paradoxer said:

Sounds like typical iOCD. 

What is iOCD?

I still don't understand how to do this 'normally'. I tried this morning but I just can't bear to stop until I see nothing on the toilet paper.

[daja]

In Asia you generally don't use toilet paper and use a bucket of water or a hose (my favourite way) in a wet-room. By far the most hygienic way IMHO.Then you just wash your hands once.

Edited April 10, 2017 by daja
clarification

[paradoxer]

17 hours ago, kaheath80 said:

Yeah, it was only recently I considered it might be obsessive. Be careful, the blister is painful!

Indeed I suspect these things are OCD related, hence posting about them here. But you could say the same for anyone who posts here. And yes I need to make changes but there are so many things, it seems like an uphill battle.

What is iOCD?

I still don't understand how to do this 'normally'. I tried this morning but I just can't bear to stop until I see nothing on the toilet paper.

iOCD was a typo.