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'Anxiety eyes.'


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Hi everyone

Have been busy working and getting myself ready for my best friend's wedding this weekend - am very excited, even though I can't find my dancing shoes. *huff* I'll just have to go without.

I'm getting along okay-ish, I think but still have my struggles. One of the key things is random bouts of anxiety during the daytime and my eyes being tired and sore. You know when you worry a lot and you can feel it a lot behind your eyes? I have that a lot and I nearly always have dark circles there.

I'm struggling with the past and feel I cannot engage in the present. I know what's making me anxious - I just feel so anxious and don't know how to tackle it and am trying so hard not to get caught in the ruminator's web. The citalopram is doing its bit and keeping me stable but I fear never being able to move ahead. I'm putting myself under pressure and constantly thinking, 'There must be more I can do.' It sounds silly but in this state of mind, I fear becoming a parent in the future, if it ever should happen - what if I put too much pressure on my children?

My godmother gave me the Desiderata epitaph as an Easter gift, telling me I am a child of the universe and deserve to be here. I just don't know how to make peace with my God without worrying as I worry on a daily basis.

Happy Easter, one and all! :)

C x

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Hi Cub

Anxiety is very taxing on the nervous system. Chronic stress can precipitate chronic fatigue - I'm right there right now. Do you engage in meditation, mindfulness, yoga, (gentle) exercise or receive acupuncture. I find all of these measures practised together keep my stress at bay. Which, in turn, alleviates my tiredness.

As for God, I've only recently acknowledged His existence again after many years of agnosticism. That might be as close a relationship as we'll ever have. And I'm comfortable with that.

Have a fantastic time at the wedding. And remember, it's not the shoes but the feet that do the dancing!

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Hi Ocean

Thanks for those lovely words of comfort. :) I do walk a lot and I meditate too - I use the mindfulness tracks. They help take the edge off. I do need to exercise more, though. It does break off the stress.

Anxiety is tiring, yes! I sometimes get frustrated with it but it is what it is and it's part of me. It needs to be addressed and managed. It's just hard sometimes to remember to breathe.

Happy Easter to you. I feel with God, I forget that religion is meant to be a comfort and try too hard to be perfect because I don't want to leave anything unaddressed and want to just get it right. I guess I have to have faith that God understands, though. It IS Easter, after all. 

Thanks for the lovely words  - I hope to dance, Cubby, dance!

C x

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