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Dismissing intrusions


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I've been dismissing all of my intrusive thoughts lately but there's one that is really bothering. I get ocd thoughts that I don't feel love for my partner or I'm scared that my love for her is "blocked" like I'll get some weird feeling instead of love when I'm thinking about how much I love her.

 

I want to just dismiss it and move on but it really irritates me that I want to feel love

for her and I can't or I think I'm not feeling what I should be..? If that makes any sense? I just don't like if after I dismiss the thoughts I still feel unsettled and uncomfortable. 

I've had this before but my ocd has flared up a lot lately. 

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Is dismissing the intrusive thoughts the right approach though Nicolette?   I think that approach gives us short term relief, but by not addressing them (cognitive work) the fear is never resolved and the OCD will mushroom.

I am not saying your approach is wrong, but I wonder if there is better way to deal with OCD intrusive thoughts?

 

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7 hours ago, Ashley said:

Is dismissing the intrusive thoughts the right approach though Nicolette?   I think that approach gives us short term relief, but by not addressing them (cognitive work) the fear is never resolved and the OCD will mushroom.

I am not saying your approach is wrong, but I wonder if there is better way to deal with OCD intrusive thoughts?

 

Ashley ain't we poss to dismiss our intrusive thoughts or ignore them and carry on like normal for them to get weaker and less.. becuase that's what I've been doing.. ☹️ Maybe that's were I'm going wrong 

Heidi 

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7 hours ago, Ashley said:

Is dismissing the intrusive thoughts the right approach though Nicolette?   I think that approach gives us short term relief, but by not addressing them (cognitive work) the fear is never resolved and the OCD will mushroom.

I am not saying your approach is wrong, but I wonder if there is better way to deal with OCD intrusive thoughts?

 

Well, my therapist is on maternity leave and I've yet to find a proper replacment so I've been trying to use tactics that used to work for me when I had severe ocd a few years back and got better from it for 1-2 years.

 

I have identified my compulsions of trying to test or "feel" love for my partner and put a stop on it. It's the thoughts and uncomfortable feelings that are stuck here now... until I get some therapy tho, I only really go by PolarBear's strategy which is to just dismiss and let the thoughts go. The most cognitive thing I do tho, is tell myself however I am feeling is fine and there's no "right" feeling. I don't really know what else to do. I'm trying to contain this. 

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I think it's the word "dismiss" that is the issue here. It suggests not understanding what is going on, and trying to get rid of the thoughts and uncomfortable feelings which isn't the right approach - but it looks like from therapy so far that you do understand what is behind the intrusive thoughts and resultant compulsions.

But it's all about actually not connecting with the intrusions, not giving meaning to the core belief the OCD generates.

I rather think that is the point PolarBear will have made. When we do that, not giving attention to the intrusions but refocusing away to involved beneficial activity, the thoughts should gradually weaken in power. 

 

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10 hours ago, taurean said:

I think it's the word "dismiss" that is the issue here. It suggests not understanding what is going on, and trying to get rid of the thoughts and uncomfortable feelings which isn't the right approach - but it looks like from therapy so far that you do understand what is behind the intrusive thoughts and resultant compulsions.

But it's all about actually not connecting with the intrusions, not giving meaning to the core belief the OCD generates.

I rather think that is the point PolarBear will have made. When we do that, not giving attention to the intrusions but refocusing away to involved beneficial activity, the thoughts should gradually weaken in power. 

 

Ok thank you ? so I am doing it right ?

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So this is my question, what is the proper procedure?  I've been letting my thoughts happen but diverting my attention away from them at the same time, trying to think of something else and trying not giving them importance.  I'm also anticipating them when I'm out or in a situation I know will cause them but is that a compulsion?  Should I just let them happen and not react or am I okay to dismiss them/ignore them as quickly as I can?  Its mentally painful as hell but I want to be sure. 

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2 minutes ago, Zazoo said:

  Should I just let them happen and not react or am I okay to dismiss them/ignore them as quickly as I can?

Hi Zazoo

It's about staying with the anxiety that the thoughts create. In time, you'll realise that you've come to no harm and that the thoughts are toothless. That's how this battle is won.

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So just accepting the anxiety when it happens and trying not reacting to it no matter what it throws at you correct?  So is it wrong to avoid the thought then when I feel it coming on, to try and avoid thinking it thus not possibly dealing with the anxiety? 

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1 minute ago, Zazoo said:

So just accepting the anxiety when it happens and trying not reacting to it no matter what it throws at you correct?  So is it wrong to avoid the thought then when I feel it coming on, to try and avoid thinking it thus not possibly dealing with the anxiety? 

Yes. And yes. In order to make progress, it's essential not to fight the intrusive thoughts but rather to let them do their worst. It's the mental equivalent of leaning back when someone leans on you! In time you'll realise that there's actually nothing to be afraid of.

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Zazoo, think of it this way: OCD is like a petulant child, trying to get your attention. If you give it attention, it will come back for more attention. Now if you ignore the petulant child, it will get louder and more aggravating in the short term, but eventually it will give up and go quiet (because it's not getting the attention it wants). Does that make sense? So it's perfectly okay, when you get an intrusive thought, to think, "Oh, one of those thoughts. Whatever," then just get on with your day, doing what you were doing before you got the thought. You don't have to actively do anything. Just dismiss the thought as irrelevant and go back to what you were doing.

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