In treatment, but got triggered today

[californiadreaming]

Hi all, I've been going through treatment and making some strides. Some days are better than others. Hoping you can help talk me through a trigger that I came across today.

My OCD fear is losing control and cheating when drunk. First, I get scared that I kissed someone, then I get scared that I had sex with someone in the bathroom. It evolves. This stems from a night in February where I drank too much and do not remember about 30-45 minutes of the night out. 

I was reading my favorite advice blog today and one of the topics was about a young man whose girlfriend kissed someone else when she was drunk. She said she had no memory of the night whatsoever and was told by a friend that she kissed someone. This is triggering me for obvious reasons. How can I work through this one? 

Edited April 18, 2017 by Ashley
Edited sad face out of thread title

[OceanDweller]

Considering your most prominent OCD theme, I understand why that would have been triggering for you.

It has, however, no bearing upon your circumstances. The facts remain the same. The key remains accepting uncertainty. In your case, there's a possibility that you kissed someone during your blackout, but you'll never know. So you have no choice but to accept that uncertainly and move forward.

Reading about someone else's experience doesn't alter one jot the likelihood of you having done the same.

[californiadreaming]

Thanks, OceanDweller. It just sucks. You're right. Now I'm in overdrive and can feel myself getting warm. I'm currently in the "exposure" part of my therapy, but we haven't gotten to "response prevention" yet. 

Is it avoidance if I avoid reading that particular blog? What do y'all think?

[OceanDweller]

I used to have intrusive thoughts about being murdered in my sleep (cheery eh?).

Even today, I avoid watching the local news for fear of happening upon a story similar to that which fuelled my fears for so long.

Personally, I don't feel deprived. It's all either tedious or tragic. For you, I guess it depends upon whether avoiding reading such tales would detract from your enjoyment of life.

[paradoxer]

56 minutes ago, californiadreaming said:

Hi all, I've been going through treatment and making some strides. Some days are better than others. Hoping you can help talk me through a trigger that I came across today.

My OCD fear is losing control and cheating when drunk. First, I get scared that I kissed someone, then I get scared that I had sex with someone in the bathroom. It evolves. This stems from a night in February where I drank too much and do not remember about 30-45 minutes of the night out. 

I was reading my favorite advice blog today and one of the topics was about a young man whose girlfriend kissed someone else when she was drunk. She said she had no memory of the night whatsoever and was told by a friend that she kissed someone. This is triggering me for obvious reasons. How can I work through this one? 

Remember, if you have OCD, life is a trigger. 

[californiadreaming]

Paradoxer, that is a very good point. 

[paradoxer]

12 hours ago, californiadreaming said:

Paradoxer, that is a very good point. 

Cheers, Golden state dreamer - all the best.