PhilM Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) Thanks friends for the massive kindness and support over the last 12 months - you know who you are without me needing to do an Oscar speech and I don't mind if this thread gets merged. Friday I will see the coolest and kindest GP I have ever met and I am going down to 9mg. Wow! What a journey and what a difference from a year ago. Yes, I'm frightened and wonder how I will cope with panic etc. but the support on this forum and elsewhere has been amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to support me through a difficult withdrawal process. OCD-UK has fab members. Best wishes, Phil. Edited April 18, 2017 by PhilM another spelling mistake! Link to comment
OceanDweller Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Respect Phil. Good on you. Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 As always, thank you OD. Hope you are doing ok. Phil. Link to comment
taurean Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 It's an incredible, awful, journey Phil. All the best, Roy Link to comment
Snowdog Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 2 minutes ago, PhilM said: Thanks friends for the massive kindness and support over the last 12 months - you know who you are without me needing to do an Oscar speech and I don't mind if this thread gets merged. Friday I will see the coolest and kindest GP I have ever met and I am going down to 9mg. Wow! What a journey and what a difference from a year ago. Yes, I'm frightened and wonder how I will cope with panic etc. but the support on this forum and elsewhere has been amazing. Thank you so much for taking the time to support me through a difficult withdrawal process. OCD-UK has fad members. Best wishes, Phil. Hi Phil don't be frighten we are all here for you ok..and if you find anything difficult or unsure of anything just ask me ok..and you will cope I promise you ok..I never thought I would but I'm here to tell the tale when I thought I wouldn't make it.. so proud of you so keep going how ever hard it gets x Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 (edited) It's awful but it is also amazing to feel. Snowdog you have been great and I'm sending you a big virtual hug. Best wishes to all, Phil. Edited April 18, 2017 by PhilM Link to comment
Caramoole Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Have you walked to the shop yet? Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 18, 2017 Author Share Posted April 18, 2017 Yep. Three times and to the library x Link to comment
lostinme Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 It sounds like your doing brilliant philM, keep up the good work we are rooting for you Take the courage from snows kind words she has done so so well and you both should be really proud in what you've achieved it's amazing ? Well done Link to comment
Caramoole Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 Quote Yep. Three times and to the library x Good for you, keep doing all of these exposures that push you a little Link to comment
PolarBear Posted April 18, 2017 Share Posted April 18, 2017 This is just fantastic, Phil. It's been a long, painful journey for you but you should be seeing light at the end of the tunnel now. I'll tell you one thing: anyone comes here who is thinking of taking those nasty pills, I'm sending them to you. Link to comment
Snowdog Posted April 19, 2017 Share Posted April 19, 2017 11 hours ago, PhilM said: It's awful but it is also amazing to feel. Snowdog you have been great and I'm sending you a big virtual hug. Best wishes to all, Phil. It is isn't it.because your one step closer aw Phil thanks for your kind words.. I just caught the hug thanks so much x Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 19, 2017 Author Share Posted April 19, 2017 Thanks for all the responses friends! Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 20, 2017 Author Share Posted April 20, 2017 Hey friends. I had an amazing experience this morning. As you know I am on a withdrawal program from tranquilisers. I woke up this morning and realised - looking at my bedside table for the first time in FIFTEEN years I had not taken half a pill when I woke up in the middle of the night to "get" me back to sleep - it didn't occur to me and when I saw half of the pill I was initially quite confused! My OCD and pill dependency are linked so I HOPE this post is apt and appropriate as others have been through the horror of the withdrawal process and been so supportive to me. I'm not there yet - 9mg from tomorrow - but I can see the finishing post coming despite some fear and reservations. Best wishes and as always thank you for all the support, Phil. Link to comment
Caramoole Posted April 20, 2017 Share Posted April 20, 2017 That's good Phil Do I sense that although there's some trepidation with every decrease, there's a bit of excitement too? One thing I found startling (unusual) was that once off Benzo's, panic attacks stopped, something I'd experienced the whole 12 years I was prescribed them. I'd expected the opposite. How are the side-effects at the moment? I found it helpful on bad days to remember that many of this is simply your body returning to normal. Tearfulness shows your ability to actually "feel" emotion again after years of being chemically coshed. Hopefully, you'll also start to find yourself laughing or being amused by something. Cramps are because the drugs are also used as a muscle relaxant and once removed, the opposite occurs. You are steadily returning to being you.....it just takes time. As well as the withdrawal programme, set yourself goals....start to do some of those things that panics made you avoid....trips to the shop, short walks on your own. You have a life to rebuild. I've been off Ativan (one of the difficult ones) for 26 years now and no matter what, I'd never take one again, not for a million pounds. Hope the appointment goes well tomorrow Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 Hi Caramoole - thanks as always for posting and great advice. Yep, a combination of trepidation and excitement. The side effects are manageable - most of the time. Sometimes I have sudden "flashes" of panic and I also have some other "physical" issues involving the toilet which I'm not sure I not need to elaborate on! Sometimes I feel tearful for no reason and sometimes over-emotional at something I see on the news. Someone else said that to me - after she stopped taking Valium, HER panic attacks stopped. Best wishes, Phil x Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 Oh and that horrible metallic taste still. Ironically one of my favourite bands is Metallica.... Link to comment
taurean Posted April 21, 2017 Share Posted April 21, 2017 Must be unpleasant Phil, but it will pass. Not sure I know Metallica, but assume must be a heavy metal band Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 21, 2017 Author Share Posted April 21, 2017 (edited) I think the clue is in the name of the band ?! However most of the music I like is old school like The Beatles, Led Zeppelin etc. Anyway I'm now down to 9mg a day after a great appointment this morning with the GP. Getting there slowly friends and thanks as always for the amazing support. Best wishes, Phil. Edited April 21, 2017 by PhilM Link to comment
taurean Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 How's it going Phil? Thinking of you Roy Link to comment
PhilM Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 Hi Roy. Thanks for your post. Just dealing with the anticipated withdrawal symptoms but my ocd is currently manageable. I wrote an entry early called "the journey...." How are you? Best wishes, Phil Link to comment
taurean Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 OK thanks but one year older now But probably wiser Link to comment
Snowdog Posted May 1, 2017 Share Posted May 1, 2017 Well done Philm keep going ....so sorry I haven't given you much support right now but member I'm always thinking of how your doing when I'm not on here x Link to comment
PhilM Posted May 2, 2017 Author Share Posted May 2, 2017 (edited) You've been great SD and we are thinking about you at the moment - the way you've thought about others. Best wishes, Phil x Edited May 2, 2017 by PhilM Link to comment
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