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It also comes from studying English Literature to A-level and marrying a woman with a degree in English Literature. 

And of course I saw and examined Samuel Johnson's 18th century English dictionary recently on a visit to his house. 

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 I'm not sure if this will be a valuable post to all you sufferers, but I find it helps me. 

A happy place! 

What ive found is that we all have a place that we find a more relaxful place than others that doesn't overwhelm us with our OCD an escape place when we are in an anxious state, whether it be the garden, bedroom, kitchen etc.  I've now adopted this place to be a happy place and it's not a place where I'm allowed rumination or OCD thoughts or compulsions it's my OCD free zone. 

Strange as it may sound its become a important place for me a relaxing OCD free zone where I can either listen to music, do a hobby or just relax a little me time zone. I'm hoping to eventually adopt the same feelings to each room and place given time and to adapt the same positive emotion:)

At first it was the same as any other room full of rituals, compulsions and intrusive thoughts but a place I would escape to when I was finding things difficult. At first I found it difficult to apply but after time it became easier I needed to adapt it as an OCD free zone. It took lots of practice because this was the place I escaped to when I didn't want to face things anymore so I used to spend time in here ruminating over things over and over again which was actually doing me no good what so ever. I started to adopt a change of feelings here from a negative place to a positive place so I no longer enter this room and fill it with negativity instead I enter in a negative mood but change it to a positive mood which is really a good helpful process.

It's still my escape room when I need to be alone because I'm finding things tuff but I've changed it from a negative escape place to a positive escape place and it works really well for me, I'm hoping to adapt the same procedure to each room one by one. 

I just thought I'd like to share this with you, it might just help you too:)

 

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3 hours ago, lostinme said:

Well it's been another good day I managed 5 hours unaided and 4 cups of tea ☕️ :) but not first thing this morning :( sadly.

Yes it's  not as good as before but hey at least I'm not avoiding it altogether and still making progress so to me it's still a good day:)

I also visited a friends house today alone and had a cup of tea there and stayed there for two hours, something I also haven't done for years :yes:

Remember guys we have to put the work in and work at it every day but we know recovery is possible and that's what we all are aiming for:)

Celebrate ? every success no matter how small :cheer:

Wow lost! What a good day you have had! You're doing so well ??!!! I hope everyday just keeps getting better and better for u xxx

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27 minutes ago, lostinme said:

 I'm not sure if this will be a valuable post to all you sufferers, but I find it helps me. 

A happy place! 

What ive found is that we all have a place that we find a more relaxful place than others that doesn't overwhelm us with our OCD an escape place when we are in an anxious state, whether it be the garden, bedroom, kitchen etc.  I've now adopted this place to be a happy place and it's not a place where I'm allowed rumination or OCD thoughts or compulsions it's my OCD free zone. 

Strange as it may sound its become a important place for me a relaxing OCD free zone where I can either listen to music, do a hobby or just relax a little me time zone. I'm hoping to eventually adopt the same feelings to each room and place given time and to adapt the same positive emotion:)

At first it was the same as any other room full of rituals, compulsions and intrusive thoughts but a place I would escape to when I was finding things difficult. At first I found it difficult to apply but after time it became easier I needed to adapt it as an OCD free zone. It took lots of practice because this was the place I escaped to when I didn't want to face things anymore so I used to spend time in here ruminating over things over and over again which was actually doing me no good what so ever. I started to adopt a change of feelings here from a negative place to a positive place so I no longer enter this room and fill it with negativity instead I enter in a negative mood but change it to a positive mood which is really a good helpful process.

It's still my escape room when I need to be alone because I'm finding things tuff but I've changed it from a negative escape place to a positive escape place and it works really well for me, I'm hoping to adapt the same procedure to each room one by one. 

I just thought I'd like to share this with you, it might just help you too:)

 

It's an interesting approach and seems to be working for you. I like it :thumbup:

I find the garden (or in poor weather the conservatory)  does it for me. 

Plus the health club is a magical relaxation place for both of us. 

I think the concept will help others to start gradually reclaiming their life from the jaws of the disorder. 

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10 hours ago, Wonderer said:

Wow lost! What a good day you have had! You're doing so well ??!!! I hope everyday just keeps getting better and better for u xxx

:thankyousign:  Wonderer,

How are you? 

Have you had a good weekend :) x 

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11 hours ago, taurean said:

It's an interesting approach and seems to be working for you. I like it :thumbup:

I find the garden (or in poor weather the conservatory)  does it for me. 

Plus the health club is a magical relaxation place for both of us. 

I think the concept will help others to start gradually reclaiming their life from the jaws of the disorder. 

Yes it's working good for me, that's why I thought I would share it because anything is worth a try but unfortunately what works for one doesn't always work for another:(

Its good that you have a few options available to chose from:yes:

I think that's what we are all are aiming for to gradually reclaim our lives back, but unfortunately there is no text book case what works for one sadly doesn't always work for another, it's a case of learning through cbt what approach works best for us and applying it. It's a case of learning as we go along :yes: and persistence and patience is the key approach. 

This room I associated with as my safe room where I went to be alone sort my head out when I was anxious ? unfortunately doing compulsions, ruminating etc till my anxiety reduced to eventually rejoin my family again whether it took one, two or more hours:( this was actually feeding the OCD and making things worse so I wanted to change this.  So I decided I wasn't allowed to go in here and do any OCD rituals etc it took lots of practice but each time I started to do any OCD compulsions I would leave the room. Now I go there in a anxious mood but enter knowing I'm going to do something positive instead and it's actually amazing ? how much quicker the anxiety reduces without ruminating etc. So a negative room as been replaced as a positive room and my anxiety reduces much quicker doing something enjoyable rather than the mental torment like before. I'd like to think I could adopt the same approach to each room:)

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44 minutes ago, lostinme said:

So a negative room as been replaced as a positive room and my anxiety reduces much quicker doing something enjoyable rather than the mental torment like before. I'd like to think I could adopt the same approach to each room

I think this approach "has legs"  in general. Well done lost :)

When we take something to which OCD is giving bad associations e.g. a number, we can say to ourselves "sorry OCD nice try but I am not going along with that". 

Initially we might just consider how OCD labelling that number bad is its way of applying another restrictive rule.

We might then look for rational, happy associations with that number. 

It's important that we don't use this as a neutralising exercise - as that would strengthen the OCD - but more as one of CBT's behavioural experiments, showing up how irrational the disorder is. 

 

 

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23 minutes ago, taurean said:

I think this approach "has legs"  in general. Well done lost :)

When we take something to which OCD is giving bad associations e.g. a number, we can say to ourselves "sorry OCD nice try but I am not going along with that". 

Initially we might just consider how OCD labelling that number bad is its way of applying another restrictive rule.

We might then look for rational, happy associations with that number. 

It's important that we don't use this as a neutralising exercise - as that would strengthen the OCD - but more as one of CBT's behavioural experiments, showing up how irrational the disorder is. 

 

 

Thanks Roy, 

Im a little confused ?‍♀️ does this mean it could be a bad thing ? 

I dont want to start something that is going hinder my progress rather than help me:(

Im not sure what you mean by neutralising ? What does this mean ? 

Could you please explain to me if you think I could be neutralising instead ? 

Many thanks 

lost 

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No I don't think you are neutralising, you are reframing which is fine.

Neutralising is when we try and counter a thought with an opposite thought to "neutralise" it. 

So if I got an intrusion to suggest I didn't care, I might say in my mental chatter - no I am a caring person.This doesn't work. 

No what you are doing is reframing perception - retuning your impression of a room from the negative irrational take of OCD into a beneficial calming place. 

It's good stuff lost. 

It is easy for people to fall into the trap of neutralising, so I just wanted to make people wary of doing that :)

 

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Thanks  Roy :)

I've just searched in the search panel, I think I need to read these and determine if I am neutralising? 

Not sure I am but I need to make sure I'm not. 

This is a new one for me so I think I need to understand the difference between reframing to neutralising a thought before I continue. 

Many thanks 

lost 

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It's a good idea to make sure you understand the difference:

Reframing is adopting an appropriate helpful rational interpretation of things, rather than the irrational negative false and restrictive take of the OCD. 

Neutralising is an attempt to remove a thought by throwing an opposing view at it to try and get rid of it.

 

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When I get fraught and /or OCD is playing me up, I take a break from what I am doing and find a quiet place to just chill for a short while.

I slow down and deepen my breathing, relax my muscles and, if it's OCD causing the trouble, remind myself it's a falsehood/exaggeration/turning a core value on its head (whichever) and I need to not connect with it, not believe it. 

When I have composed myself I return to my activities. 

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That also sounds like a good plan for me to try:yes:

I think a good idea before doing cbt would be if you was given a booklet explaining everything from obsessions, compulsions, rituals, rumination,neutralising, reframing etc because I think that there is probably lots of people who are unsure what these are and have to learn it through cbt. Im sure that there is plenty of people like myself that didnt know what their compulsions or obsessions etc are and it's so much easier when you learn to understand what they are.:)

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When are you planning to write the booklet :lol:

Seriously I agree with you; there is far too much waffle and padding, and not enough definition and specifics around - something along the lines you suggest, lost, would be brilliant :)

 

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I just think you spend half the cbt time learning what part is what, if we was better equipped before hand we would probably understand things much better and hence a better understanding what it is we are doing and why :)

 

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Had a few intrusions on my way home from work today, but reminded myself they are just thoughts, not facts. And that my attaching belief to them is where the problem lies. It's not easy, but refocusing through drawing and writing blog posts really helps. Plus it's so much more productive than wasting time and energy ruminating and worrying about make believe thoughts. 

 

I'm going to draw now, as it's something I enjoy so much, and is truly therapeutic in combatting a wandering mind.

Lots of love to you all, I hope you're doing well and bearing in mind, it's just a thought :)

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Only A Storm 

Carrying on the theme from the title, I was reminded of what my psychiatrist said. 

He said treat a setback as a "storm"; storms are really bad at the time,  but of short duration and behind them will follow clearer weather and calmer winds :)

 

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8 hours ago, taurean said:

"storm"; storms are really bad at the time,  but of short duration and behind them will follow clearer weather and calmer winds :)

Like this saying Roy :yes:

Any way guys I thought I'd do an update on my progress avoiding my compulsion making a cuppa.

Unfortunately it's not been a good couple of days, I only managed 4 yesterday and only 2 today and not first thing in the morning either :(

I know the reason for this was because I was way to anxious ? my partner decided to bleach down all the back yard and also decided to use drain unblocker in my sink and unfortunately using these chemicals made me really anxious :(

Im pleased because I allowed him to use both these products with me around and in the house because I haven't allowed this for years but sad because I've failed doing my homework :( 

I keep trying to fill the kettle and keep doubting myself and trying to fight the thoughts but it seems to have exaggerated them because I've used these chemicals in and around the house, I realise that every one around the world uses these products every day and it's just down to the OCD. At least I've still managed to make and drink a few so at least that's a good step :)

What annoys me so much is I know the more you doubt the more you do the compulsions the harder it becomes and so the viscious circle keeps going :(

 

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What will probably help is :

Relax and don't fight the intrusions.

A great way to detach from thoughts, and the doubt they seek to evoke, is to use a defusion method. 

My lovely therapist told me a great one that she was taught - the waterfall. 

Imagine you are walking along a stream and you reach a waterfall cascading down rocks and with an indentation into the rock behind the waterfall, and a ledge. 

Slip behind the waterfall and stand on the ledge. 

Imagin your unwanted thoughts urges feelings doubts projected out from you and into the waterfall. 

Observe them sitting within the beautiful waterfall, outside of you so they cannot harm you. 

Watch them hanging there in the waterfall and know that as they sit there you can truly see them for the OCD that they are, the falsehoods lies doubts that normally plague you. But they cannot now. 

After relaxing and detaching like this, see if you can imagine walking away again. When you get really good at this detachment and defusion, try imagining the thoughts, feelings, doubts released from hold in the waterfall and sent cascading away down the stream. 

Only do this mindfulness meditation when in a completely safe environment, such as lying on a bed or couch - and not when driving operating machinery or at the same time trying to do something with responsibility. You need to be relaxing and able to safely solely focus on the meditation. 

Edited by taurean
amendment
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