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Long time no speak.


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Hi everyone, hope you have all had a good weekend. 

I've not been on here for a while, I consider myself to be recovered. I suffered really badly with Harm OCD - fear of harming loved ones, myself, my pets etc, it was absolutely the worst thing I've ever been through. After having various counselling and finally CBT I was able to deal with the thoughts I was having and I've been living a very normal, happy life since. 

Recently, at my place of work we employed someone whom we knew suffered with Bi-polar disorder, she was full of great ideas and seemed very driven etc so we took her on and ended up promoting her. It went from bad to worse and she went missing one day threatening to commit suicide, and we found out she also has scizophrenia and hears voices. Anyway, eventually this is now all sorted however my due to this my worries, anxieties and thoughts are re-surfacing a little. I am very worried about 'hearing voices' which was one of my fears previously. I am having constant mind chatter and I'm almost so focussed on my ears and fearing hearing things that my ears almost feel.. weird. Not sure how to describe it. A few thoughts have been cropping up but I'm quite good at dealing with the thoughts as such, just the fear of hearing voices or going crazy is always one of my big ones. 

I don't have anyone I really speak to about this anymore so just wanted to get it off my chest. :) 

 

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12 minutes ago, Miranda123 said:

Hi everyone, hope you have all had a good weekend. 

I've not been on here for a while, I consider myself to be recovered. I suffered really badly with Harm OCD - fear of harming loved ones, myself, my pets etc, it was absolutely the worst thing I've ever been through. After having various counselling and finally CBT I was able to deal with the thoughts I was having and I've been living a very normal, happy life since. 

Recently, at my place of work we employed someone whom we knew suffered with Bi-polar disorder, she was full of great ideas and seemed very driven etc so we took her on and ended up promoting her. It went from bad to worse and she went missing one day threatening to commit suicide, and we found out she also has scizophrenia and hears voices. Anyway, eventually this is now all sorted however my due to this my worries, anxieties and thoughts are re-surfacing a little. I am very worried about 'hearing voices' which was one of my fears previously. I am having constant mind chatter and I'm almost so focussed on my ears and fearing hearing things that my ears almost feel.. weird. Not sure how to describe it. A few thoughts have been cropping up but I'm quite good at dealing with the thoughts as such, just the fear of hearing voices or going crazy is always one of my big ones. 

I don't have anyone I really speak to about this anymore so just wanted to get it off my chest. :) 

 

Hi Miranda and welcome back(?).

Developing psychosis was one of my greatest fears once upon a time. As with each of my 'themes', hearing about or meeting someone with a history of psychotic episodes was a trigger. Last year I volunteered for a month as a support worker at my local acute psychiatric hospital. I was surrounded by folk suffering from audio and visual hallucinations every day. I learned two valuable lessons: firstly, that psychosis isn't catching! And, secondly, aside from periodic outbursts, many of the fluidly psychotic patients were much happier than a lot of individuals I've encountered 'on the outside'.

I'm not sure if this experience served as some manner of exposure therapy, or if it just demystified psychotic illness, but today the fear never enters my head.

 

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Hi OceanDweller :)

Wow that's really interesting. I love that you volunteered to do that! I guess exposure doesn't get more full on than that. It's great to hear those thoughts don't bother you anymore. The lady I worked with had an extremely hard up bringing and terrible past, including sexual abuse as a child, an awful and abusive mother and father also with a history of mental health issues. It has made me be very grateful for the life I have but also triggered a few old demons. 

 

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9 minutes ago, Miranda123 said:

It has made me be very grateful for the life I have

Poor lady. I guess we're all just playing the hand we're dealt. I dig what you wrote (above) very much. In my opinion, counting our blessings is the single most effective weapon we have against mental illness. Good on you Miranda. ?

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