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I keep on having intrusive thoughts centered around the idea that I don't feel as intense or "good" love for my partner, that whatever I am feeling is wrong. My ocd keeps trying to compare my feelings of love for my current partner to the love I used to feel for my ex and telling me I don't feel as in love with my partner as I did with my ex.

 

Weird thing is when I'm with my partner in person I feel happy and in love...whenever we text each other I love yous though, I immediately get some thought/feeling saying I'm not feeling how I think I should or how I used to...I feel super uncomfortable and "numb" and anxious...

 

I'm not making myself feel love for her after getting the thought as a compulsion BUT I feel incredibly uncomfortable and I'm scared I'm gonna feel like this forever. I feel discouraged because it feels like it's getting worse when I'm not doing anything to the thought just letting it come through and cause me massive anxiety.   

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As hard as it sounds you need to just try and ride it out.That feeling will eventually fade.

The fact that when your with your partner you feel all this love for her and are happy shows that they are just thoughts.

Dont be to hard on yourself x

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You must be doing some sort of compulsion. I suspect you sit there and analyze your love, trying to figure out if it is as high as before. That would be a compulsion.

You can control to some degree the feeling you get when you get an intrusive thought. You need not freak out every time you get one. When you do, think, "Oh well, maybe I don't love her as much" then continue on with your day without doing compulsions. 

Edited by PolarBear
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4 hours ago, OceanDweller said:

Hi Nicolette. Purely to play devil's advocate, is it possible that you were more in love with your ex than you are with your current partner?

Is this a useful contribution? Unless you're aiming for some kind of offbeat  'exposure'. The OP herself has ID the repetetive thoughts as OCD. The question you pose is useless on an OCD forum, in fact it's worse. There might be a time and place for such a question, but not here, not now. 

 

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4 hours ago, PolarBear said:

You must be doing some sort of compulsion. I suspect you sit there and analyze your love, trying to figure out if it is as high as before. That would be a compulsion.

You can control to some degree the feeling you get when you get an intrusive thought. You need not freak out every time you get one. When you do, think, "Oh well, maybe I don't love her as much" then continue on with your day without doing compulsions. 

If I say that wouldn't it just spike the anxiety? Is it like an exposure tactic or the spike will eventually lessen?

 

I honestly feel like I just want it to go away badly that the compulsion is probably trying to get rid of it cause I don't like the feeling either.

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6 hours ago, paradoxer said:

Is this a useful contribution? Unless you're aiming for some kind of offbeat  'exposure'. The OP herself has ID the repetetive thoughts as OCD. The question you pose is useless on an OCD forum, in fact it's worse. There might be a time and place for such a question, but not here, not now. 

 

I strongly disagree. What helped me immeasurable in my recovery was to question outright whether there was any truth whatsoever to my themes. Once one establishes that it's OCD and there is no evidence, one can begin to work on addressing it as such. I have had relationships during which I have questioned whether I have loved my partner as much as the previous one. Sometimes it's simply been stinking thinking. Other times it's been valid. My point was (and remains) that there is little point in trying to treat an OCD thought if in actuality it's just a fact of life. This is purely my opinion, so please don't berate me for it. Thank you.

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On 4/24/2017 at 01:04, OceanDweller said:

I strongly disagree. What helped me immeasurable in my recovery was to question outright whether there was any truth whatsoever to my themes. Once one establishes that it's OCD and there is no evidence, one can begin to work on addressing it as such. I have had relationships during which I have questioned whether I have loved my partner as much as the previous one. Sometimes it's simply been stinking thinking. Other times it's been valid. My point was (and remains) that there is little point in trying to treat an OCD thought if in actuality it's just a fact of life. This is purely my opinion, so please don't berate me for it. Thank you.

I'd suggest that establishing that something is OCD - while in the throes of an obsession, is counter-therapeutic ... but you are certainly enttled to your opinion. I hope it puts the OP in good stead. 

 

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