Hi guys sorry I haven't been on im in a bad place right now and need your help

[Snowdog]

Hi guys 

hope you are well and doing ok..

firstly I'm so sorry I haven't been on Im very unwell at the moment and I'm fighting my own battle really right now...

 so I'm needing your advice I was trying to do this myslef but now I'm very low i need your help guys.. 

well this is how it started I've been doing great the last two months.. the intrusive thoughts almost disappeared my anxity was totally gone and my depression was gone then a few weeks ago I started getting very bad headaches and now my intrusive thoughts are back every second again and depression is so bad I'm crying all day long every thing is upsetting me and can't tolerate anything and the thoughts are making me so depressed I'm am ignoring them but there getting stronger and stronger what am I doing wrong guys I just cope ? With going tho this again I just can't just when I thought I was geting there I'm knocked of my feet again.. 

what advice would you give me ? 

And I started my medication 12 weeks ago today so you think I should think of maybe going up ? 

Hope your all well x

 

Edited May 1, 2017 by Snowdog

[PhilM]

Heidi you have been amazingly supportive to people on this forum - including me - and it is really upsetting to read that you are struggling. But even a little bit as hard as it can be try to remember the intrusive thoughts are nothing to do with you as a person. OCD can go up and go down - sometimes we feel confident and then we don't. I don't want to comment about medication but maybe it would help you to re-read some of your own posts and the posts where you offered advice to others? It's damned hard but you have been a great forum friend to me and I really want you to feel a bit better in yourself. Remember - the thoughts are horrible but not YOU.

Best wishes, your friend Phil x

[lostinme]

50 minutes ago, Snowdog said:

Hi guys 

hope you are well and doing ok..

firstly I'm so sorry I haven't been on Im very unwell at the moment and I'm fighting my own battle really right now...

 so I'm needing your advice I was trying to do this myslef but now I'm very low i need your help guys.. 

well this is how it started I've been doing great the last two months.. the intrusive thoughts almost disappeared my anxity was totally gone and my depression was gone then a few weeks ago I started getting very bad headaches and now my intrusive thoughts are back every second again and depression is so bad I'm crying all day long every thing is upsetting me and can't tolerate anything and the thoughts are making me so depressed I'm am ignoring them but there getting stronger and stronger what am I doing wrong guys I just cope ? With going tho this again I just can't just when I thought I was geting there I'm knocked of my feet again.. 

what advice would you give me ? 

And I started my medication 12 weeks ago today so you think I should think of maybe going up ? 

Hope your all well x

 

Hey snow really sorry to hear your struggling right now. You've always been very supportive to me and others so I'd like to try to be supportive to you now. 

Its sad to see your feeling so low but try to remember our journey can be a bit of a rollercoaster at times, one minute we are up the next minute we are down. But eventually there will be more ups than downs. 

You need to remember that these thoughts are OCD thoughts they aren't real, OCD lies all the time. 

You need to accept the thoughts as OCD thoughts and then refocus onto something else easing them away without giving meaning to them. 

Ive found ignoring the thoughts doesn't work for me it does in fact make them more frequent (only my personal opinion) that's where the cognitive side comes in. We need to accept them and see them for what they are OCD thoughts and nothing more and accept them as just that and then let them go.

Remember snow you have done this before so you know it's possible, it's just a little blip and we all have them. 

Hope this helps you snow x

Your dear friend lost x 

[taurean]

Oh snow I am sad to read this, and thinking of you.

As you know I get this when in a bad episode of OCD. It sounds like the thoughts are, as they do with me, repetitively looping. 

If that is so, you haven't done anything wrong - but the loop needs to be broken to get you back on course. 

So it's probably not about the thoughts themselves - you know how to treat them I think - but the distress and anxiety and depression of them constantly repeating? 

I am tired tonight - we are in the process of putting the house back in order, but if the looping is what I suspect is what is bothering you, I will try to help you break the thought loop with some ideas when I can put my thinking cap on and check my notes. 

Your very dear friend 

Roy 

 

 

 

[PhilM]

People care about you and you have helped in my opinion lots of sufferers x

[taurean]

I think snow if the problem is constantly repeating thoughts (thought loops) then perhaps the approach I worked with Snowbear and Caramoole on will help you to break the loop. 

I have been lying on my bed resting, but just thinking it through. 

Lost's advice is the starting point. 

Realising you have done nothing wrong, the looping is something a few of us sadly experience is the next. My research of that showed it comes in mild, intermediate or constant form. 

To break it, you have to take this on board - it's a breakdown in the communication circuitry in the brain, a "Brainlock" like a needle stuck in the groove on a vinyl record. 

Shifting emotion to a focus of love kindness happiness joy and just doing something pleasurable, giving yourself a treat - (what snowbear calls positive emotion generation)  shifts us out of feeling bad - then couple this with focusing on the present and in the moment on something very involved and beneficial and keeping that going. 

You will probably need to keep trying this, but hopefully it will unshift the stuck transmission in the brain and ease away from the Brainlock.

Like therapy in general, I had to work at believing this, and shifting focus from bad emotions to good, then switching to mindfulness. But it is effective. 

Edited May 1, 2017 by taurean
amendment

[Snowdog]

1 hour ago, PhilM said:

Heidi you have been amazingly supportive to people on this forum - including me - and it is really upsetting to read that you are struggling. But even a little bit as hard as it can be try to remember the intrusive thoughts are nothing to do with you as a person. OCD can go up and go down - sometimes we feel confident and then we don't. I don't want to comment about medication but maybe it would help you to re-read some of your own posts and the posts where you offered advice to others? It's damned hard but you have been a great forum friend to me and I really want you to feel a bit better in yourself. Remember - the thoughts are horrible but not YOU.

Best wishes, your friend Phil x

 

36 minutes ago, lostinme said:

Hey snow really sorry to hear your struggling right now. You've always been very supportive to me and others so I'd like to try to be supportive to you now. 

Its sad to see your feeling so low but try to remember our journey can be a bit of a rollercoaster at times, one minute we are up the next minute we are down. But eventually there will be more ups than downs. 

You need to remember that these thoughts are OCD thoughts they aren't real, OCD lies all the time. 

You need to accept the thoughts as OCD thoughts and then refocus onto something else easing them away without giving meaning to them. 

Ive found ignoring the thoughts doesn't work for me it does in fact make them more frequent (only my personal opinion) that's where the cognitive side comes in. We need to accept them and see them for what they are OCD thoughts and nothing more and accept them as just that and then let them go.

Remember snow you have done this before so you know it's possible, it's just a little blip and we all have them. 

Hope this helps you snow x

Your dear friend lost x 

 

15 minutes ago, taurean said:

Oh snow I am sad to read this, and thinking of you.

As you know I get this when in a bad episode of OCD. It sounds like the thoughts are, as they do with me, repetitively looping. 

If that is so, you haven't done anything wrong - but the loop needs to be broken to get you back on course. 

So it's probably not about the thoughts themselves - you know how to treat them I think - but the distress and anxiety and depression of them constantly repeating? 

I am tired tonight - we are in the process of putting the house back in order, but if the looping is what I suspect is what is bothering you, I will try to help you break the thought loop with some ideas when I can put my thinking cap on and check my notes. 

Your very dear friend 

Roy 

 

 

 

 

14 minutes ago, PhilM said:

People care about you and you have helped in my opinion lots of sufferers x

Hey everyone...

I'm so thankful for your kind words has I sit here in tears not knowing what to do... your such good forum friends to me and I'm so grateful....I'm so so low I don't know what to do....Im  really depressed I think which is making my OCD worse...I'm just so fed up with this constant up and down all the time with the OCD It's like a roller coaster ..and it's bringing me down..I'm doing everything I should be doing ignoring thoughts  trying not to do no compulsions..I'm making myself eat well go gym you name it I'm doing it...but I just can't do no more I'm exhausted..just when I thought I was getting somewhere something triggers me of and the loops starts now I can't get out of it and grip me again... I only thought about going up on meds because i thought It make take the edge of things not obvious for OCD has we all know it don't do nothing for thoughts...i don't know what to say or do I'm just stuck in the thoughts loop again ...I'm so sorry guys I haven't help any of you guys lately I'm just not strong enough right now for anything I'm just fighting to get back again...

thanks Roy I would be very grateful 

hugs to you guys x

[Snowdog]

10 minutes ago, taurean said:

I think snow if the problem is constantly repeating thoughts (thought loops) then perhaps the approach I worked with Snowbear and Caramoole on will help you to break the loop. 

I have been lying on my bed resting, but just thinking it through. 

Lost's advice is the starting point. 

Realising you have done nothing wrong, the looping is something a few of us sadly experience is the next. My research of that showed it comes in mild, intermediate or constant form. 

To break it, you have to take this on board - it's a breakdown in the communication circuitry in the brain, a "Brainlock" like a needle stuck in the groove on a vinyl record. 

Shifting emotion to a focus of love kindness happiness joy and just doing something pleasurable, giving yourself a treat - (what snowbear calls positive emotion generation)  shifts us out of feeling bad - then couple this with focusing on the present and in the moment on something very involved and beneficial and keeping that going. 

You will probably need to keep trying this, but hopefully it will unshift the stuck transmission in the brain and ease away from the Brainlock.

Like therapy in general, I had to work at believing this, and shifting focus from bad emotions to good, then switching to mindfulness. But it is effective. 

Thanks for this Roy...Yeah that is the problem it's so bad I got depression from it now I can't stop crying..that I can't go on or listen to it no more...I even feel a bit sucudial from it because I can't cope with it it's got so strong...ok thanks for the advice I will start that now and see how I go...I will do anything to get back up again x

[taurean]

It pulled me out of the loop once I got into it and left the looping thoughts be in the back of my mind. 

Caramoole has experienced the thought loops, also my sister.

Snowbear Caramoole and I worked together to help me with this - there is pretty well nothing out there online or in books I have read, other than Brainlock,that addresses it - so I suspect most people maybe get the less severe looping and it's just considered to be repetitive obsessive thoughts. 

But in the constant form it is absolutely devastating

Hopefully the information I have passed on will, once you get properly into the way of it, work for you

Meanwhile remember the thoughts themselves are just OCD, nothing to do with you. 

And remember, when we are struggling badly ourselves is the time we need to receive help - we can always seek to help others again when we feel better. 

[OceanDweller]

Hi Snowdog. I don't know you as well as some of the other respondents, however I'm all too familiar with depression. I know how debilitating it can be. And how capricious. I genuinely believe that, where depression is concerned, the night is darkest immediately before the dawn. You're clearly respected and regarded with great fondness here. And I imagine that's representative of how you're view in 'real life'. This too shall pass Heidi. Continue to do all the right things and soon enough your mood will lift and everything will appear so much more manageable. Everyone is rooting for you. X

[taurean]

1 minute ago, OceanDweller said:

I genuinely believe that, where depression is concerned, the night is darkest immediately before the dawn.

   

[OceanDweller]

1 minute ago, taurean said:

   

Thank you Roy.

[taurean]

No problem - it's great that you are doing better and, like us, spending time helping and encouraging others. 

[Snowdog]

5 minutes ago, OceanDweller said:

Hi Snowdog. I don't know you as well as some of the other respondents, however I'm all too familiar with depression. I know how debilitating it can be. And how capricious. I genuinely believe that, where depression is concerned, the night is darkest immediately before the dawn. You're clearly respected and regarded with great fondness here. And I imagine that's representative of how you're view in 'real life'. This too shall pass Heidi. Continue to do all the right things and soon enough your mood will lift and everything will appear so much more manageable. Everyone is rooting for you. X

Hi oceandweller 

i hope you are well..

thanks for your kind words I'm very grateful for your reply to my post...It's so hard isn't it  I really do hope it past soon it's very scary...I will keep this post in mind..thanks for your kinds words again 

hope your having a good evening x

[lostinme]

14 minutes ago, OceanDweller said:

Hi Snowdog. I don't know you as well as some of the other respondents, however I'm all too familiar with depression. I know how debilitating it can be. And how capricious. I genuinely believe that, where depression is concerned, the night is darkest immediately before the dawn. You're clearly respected and regarded with great fondness here. And I imagine that's representative of how you're view in 'real life'. This too shall pass Heidi. Continue to do all the right things and soon enough your mood will lift and everything will appear so much more manageable. Everyone is rooting for you. X

OceanDweller

You can get through this snow we are rooting for you, miss that ray of sunshine x

[Snowdog]

1 minute ago, lostinme said:

OceanDweller

You can get through this snow we are rooting for you, miss that ray of sunshine x

Aw your so sweet ..thanks  xx

yes it was a brilliant posting wasn't it ..you guys are so good to me thanks for your kindness xx

[OceanDweller]

6 minutes ago, lostinme said:

OceanDweller

You can get through this snow we are rooting for you, miss that ray of sunshine x

Thank you lost. And here here.

[Wonderer]

Hi Heidi, I'm so sorry ur suffering so much right now hunni, I can totally relate as I too go through periods of awful depression, quite frequently at the moment, last week I was in the pits and this week, well things are looking up, I don't know what else to say other than this is not permanent, it helps to keep that in mind when we are suffering so, nothing lasts forever, that much is very true! Ur meds are ur decision, u should talk to ur doctor about them. I really hope u start to feel better soon chicken, don't u dare apologise for anything, u are not well and should look after yourself first and foremost! Big hugs xxx

[lostinme]

9 minutes ago, OceanDweller said:

Thank you lost. And here here.

Your welcome OceanDweller

 

10 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

Hi Heidi, I'm so sorry ur suffering so much right now hunni, I can totally relate as I too go through periods of awful depression, quite frequently at the moment, last week I was in the pits and this week, well things are looking up, I don't know what else to say other than this is not permanent, it helps to keep that in mind when we are suffering so, nothing lasts forever, that much is very true! Ur meds are ur decision, u should talk to ur doctor about them. I really hope u start to feel better soon chicken, don't u dare apologise for anything, u are not well and should look after yourself first and foremost! Big hugs xxx

We are all here for you x

[Snowdog]

10 minutes ago, Wonderer said:

Hi Heidi, I'm so sorry ur suffering so much right now hunni, I can totally relate as I too go through periods of awful depression, quite frequently at the moment, last week I was in the pits and this week, well things are looking up, I don't know what else to say other than this is not permanent, it helps to keep that in mind when we are suffering so, nothing lasts forever, that much is very true! Ur meds are ur decision, u should talk to ur doctor about them. I really hope u start to feel better soon chicken, don't u dare apologise for anything, u are not well and should look after yourself first and foremost! Big hugs xxx

Hi wonderer 

i haven't spoken to you in a while..hope every is ok..thanks for your reply..I will keep in mind what you have said and keep going and hopefully it will lift soon..I'm glad things are lifting up for you I hope things keep moving forward for you ..yeah Im going to go doctors tomorrow and see what they say ...hugs xxx 

[OceanDweller]

How are you feeling today?

[lostinme]

Thinking of you today snow ❄️ and hope your ok 

Im cheering you on all the way 

lost xx

[Wonderer]

Good luck for the doctors today Heidi! Thinking of u xx

[taurean]

I am also in full support mode my friend

 

[Snowdog]

8 hours ago, Jessie_Loz said:

Hey hunni

I hope you realise this is just a blip and you have that strength in you to get back on the road to recovery? Ive also had a blip and my reasons were similar i couldnt get rid of an awful headache so i went docs and got some antibitoics for siniusitus and they reacted badly with me. The last week ive been in tears feeling like i let my son down only to realise this was a bad side affect to my antibiotics so now im starting to feel strong again. Has anything changed for you that has caused this? You know everytime ur head throws a negative thought at you just shrug it off. Maybe i am - or maybe im not. Dont give OCD the power to make you feel weak when you have helped us all so much with your positivity. You probably cant see it right now but you are such a strong lady! Ull get there hunni. - big hugs - if you need to chat drop me a msg im here for u as u was for me too xxxx

 

7 hours ago, OceanDweller said:

How are you feeling today?

 

7 hours ago, lostinme said:

Thinking of you today snow ❄️ and hope your ok 

Im cheering you on all the way 

lost xx

 

6 hours ago, Wonderer said:

Good luck for the doctors today Heidi! Thinking of u xx

 

3 hours ago, taurean said:

I am also in full support mode my friend

 

Hi everyone thanks for your replys..means  a lot.. 

I'm just sat in doctors now I'm in tears I can't stop crying when I awake or I'm in a really mad mood and I feel agahited for no reason and I don't know what to do anything just want to hide in bed so I feel so bad I'm actually so scared right now I've only felt like once before and it's was the darkest moths of my life I just can't go back there it's so hard to get out of..

i can't think of any thing jess I just have headaches all the time.. I'm really stressed about finding a new house there's that but nothing else...

is there any tips guys I could do to.. to get out of this 

x